I will never understand the common assertion that unless one can drink alcohol at a gathering, it is not worth going to. If it is that important to your life, you need to get professional help.
but culture, mimosas! 
I, personally, find New Yorkers to be more normal than average. While I think the attitude displayed in the OP certainly seems a bit selfish and whiny, it seems normal and is even something I’ve engaged in time to time.
Then again, they gain weirdness points just for living in NYC, so it all evens out… 
Oxy, you know I worship the pavement you walk on, but I’m with the others on this one.
But then again, I live in Jersey, so what do I know about the civilized world?
<snicker> Civilized world, indeed! I’d give quite a lot for a bit of uncivilization to come to Manhattan. Like a Target. Or a Costco…[dreamy look]
I remember when I first came to New York being shocked when a friend mine suggested we get together for brunch - at 3. (In fact, I’m pretty sure I had to ask whether he meant am or pm - both seemed equally likely!) But I got used to it very quickly.
And in all honesty, I’m likely to be up early enough anyway - even on the rare occasion when I’m out particularly late I almost never sleep past 8 anyway. It’s more the shock at thinking, which of her friends will be there anywhere near 11 am?
Oh, and p.s.: think this is whining? You don’t know from whining! Why, New Yorkers practically invented whiners, only nowadays we call them “community activists.” In fact, they have their own professional organization called the “city council”…
Come on, OxyMoron, the solution is so simple you should have already thought of it. If the brunch is at a private residence, buy some champagne on Saturday. Slap a bow on the bottle (or bottles) and grab some orange juice on the way to her house.
If it’s a restaurant, that won’t work of course, but I’m sure you can hold out for 1 measly hour.
Ludovic, what the hell does “more normal than average” mean?
I understand what Oxy is saying. The timing of his friend’s party might not seem odd to some people, but in New York, it’s practically unheard of. First of all, Manhattanites are reluctant to leave their borough. That can be quite annoying to those of use who live elsewhere, but we’ve learned to work around it. Secondly, brunch really does start later here. Of the approximately 672 brunch-serving restaurants in my neighborhood, only two (2) are open before 11 am. Irritating to morning people, but again, we live with it. I guess what I’m trying to say is “know your audience.” You probably wouldn’t throw a six-year-old’s birthday party at 10 pm on a school night, right? Neither should you invite NYers to do something in Brooklyn at 11 am on a weekend. Or if you do, expect to see a lot of these: :dubious:
p.s. I threw my own birthday party and it was a BLAST.
Yeah, me too. Pit-worthy? I have no idea. But it is irritating in the way that small things are disproportionately irritating. Because it would have been so easy to be more accommodating, the fact that his friend didn’t rather grates, especially since an awful lot of Brooklyn folks share the Manhattan lifestyle. I tend to get angrier at the cretin who doesn’t hold the elevator for me than certain calculating acts of rudeness.
11AM brunch just goes against the grain. If it doesn’t bother you where you live, that’s wonderful. Though I suspect that is because the bars close at the risible hour of 2am, when things are just starting to get really good downtown.
Exactly.
We plan all our best parties for times inconvenient to Manhattanites.
Oh, and the necessity of alcohol in order to have a good time is patently pathetic to me. YMMV.
Esprix
Welcome to brunch, Esprix, you can leave the chip on your shoulder and your Temperance pamphlets in the closet by the hallway.
You ever had a mimosa? They’re weak. Very weak, and just part of the standard brunch menu. You might as well say “and if you have to have caffeine, you’re pathetic”.
What’s with the holier-than-thou teetotaling driveby?
Um, agreeing with some of the sentiments stated herein? Isn’t that the point of a public message board? 
And although I am a teetotaller, I don’t have a problem with people drinking, and I don’t have a problem with people drinking socially, but the requirement of alcohol in order to have a good time is, IMHO, just pathetic, and calls to a possibly larger problem.
YMMV, as usual.
Esprix
Allrighty, then both you and culture can leave the chips on your shoulders and your temperance pamphlets at the door. Now, why don’t you run along to some Cafe Society thread about “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and post a driveby about how wanting to watch a TV show is pathetic.
Oh come off of it, Monkey. One of the OPs rant points was the bitching about the woeful inavailability of booze for a bloody hour at the start of the party. An hour, in the company of friends, for a festive occasion, without liquor was something that the OP felt necessary to rant about.
That’s either the OP reaching for something to bolster the selfish, petty complaint here or indicative of a worrisome mindset which equates good time with alcohol consumption and cannot break out of that box even when surrounded with good people, presumably good food and the lack of drink is temporary.
Mr. tlw and I do not have 11 a.m. brunch on Sundays because we are churchgoers, but we do invite a number of our friends to brunch at our home later in the day on Sunday every couple of months, and we do not serve alcohol. We do not drink and we don’t keep alcohol in our house. Though some of our friends do drink socially, they’re more than happy to join us for our get-togethers – the company, the food and the conversation are all enough to provide a pleasant engagement even when everyone’s sober.
Hee hee! It’s not often that I get to accuse you of backpedaling…but that sounds like backpedaling to me! 
On one hand, common sense (and Miss Manners) would suggest that if you’re unhappy with the terms and conditions of an invitation, including the time of the affair, that the appropriate thing would be to just not go.
On the other, common sense (and Miss Manners) would suggest that a person consider the customs of their guests and their group when issuing an invitation. If it is customary in that group to have brunch later in the day, then it is kind of rude to schedule a birthday party (an event that carries a bit more obligation to attend than a regular party) at a time that most of the guests would find inconvenient.
Being a good host means trying to accommodate your guests, from the time of the event to the menu to the location. A host can’t necessarily accommodate everyone, especially if a guest has very particular needs. And sometimes, time, menu, or location is fixed. But a good host does the best he or she can to make things easier for the guests.
And FWIW, Oxy does not require alcohol to have a good time. I think he was bringing up the “no alcohol before noon” thing to explain why brunch before noon is not customary among his friends in NYC. I’m a very light drinker, and I enjoy a mimosa with brunch too.
Thanks, GB, as usual you’re so sensible. It’s a half-backpedal - I was doing the math to see when I’d have to get up, got rather indignant, and when I realized that I would hardly be the only person in the same boat I felt ever more justified in my indignance. It’s a vent, a whine, a whinge, and certainly I had no illusions I’d get much sympathy - particularly since the New Yorkers here are a pretty small group.
That said, I find it remarkable that my comment on when restaurants can serve alcohol somehow morphed into the insulting and not-so-veiled suggestion that I’m an alcoholic. That it comes from Esprix, who usually does a much better job of reading a thread, is particularly distressing.
And p.s., I owe Vix a drink (ooo, that makes us both alcoholics, doesn’t it? ;)). I had totally forgotten about her BDay, which obviously didn’t bother me at all!
Oxy, I think the thing folks are thinking (or at least I am thinking), is this:
It’s your friend’s birthday. She wants to celebrate it with friends. Her SO has something at 2:00, so she’s holding the party at 11.
Is there really anything wrong with this?
If you and the other guests are all working until 2 or 3 in the AM, then I’d agree with Green Bean and say that the host has failed in her duties to accomidate the guests. But, if the real issue is that you and the other guests will be out on the town until the wee hours, then that’s your own problem, not hers.
I’ve got all sorts of conflicting events in my life, and sometimes I have to pass on one thing to do another. It’s your friend’s birthday. Maybe celebrating it with her is worth giving up a night of partying, maybe not. I’d hope my friends would be able to curtail their regular partying enough to make it to my birthday.
I don’t get it either, Oxy, even after all the discussion.
First of all, the getting-up part. Even if you’ve been out partying until 2am Saturday night, getting out of bed by 9am isn’t exactly a challenge, once you’re a bit past your growth-spurt years. And what you do past 2am the previous night isn’t really something your host needs to factor in, unless it’s work-related, which it’s not in this case.
Second, is it the norm in NYC for guests to be ‘on time’ for parties? It’s the exception elsewhere in the civilized world, even if this makes no sense. (Show up 10 minutes early for a party at someone’s home, and the hosts are likely to still be pulling their clothes on.) So if 11am disturbs you, show up ‘fashionably late’ at 11:30, and have a cup of java to tide you over until that first mimosa.
I’m aware that this event is at a restaurant, which puts the lateness angle in a somewhat different light, but I’ve been at enough gatherings at restaurants where some of the guests were nontrivially late. It’s really no big deal - out in the hinterlands, anyway. And if brunch before noon is such a major breach of etiquette in NYC, I doubt that they’ll have trouble holding your seats at the restaurant until 11:30 or 11:45.
Third, there is no number three in this list. Even though I think it’s fine to send out invitations to your own party, even if it’s a birthday party. If it’s a good enough custom for Bilbo Baggins, it’s good enough for me. 
Perhaps the hostess scheduled brunch because some of the guests have children and these guest are more comfortable having a sitter during the day. Or maybe, I dunno, the birthday girl wanted to have some friends get together for brunch.
Actually, when I was writing about alcohol, I was thinking of gobear’s remarks.
And Monkey, you are cordially invited to go fuck yourself at 11:00 a.m. this Sunday.
:rolleyes:
Esprix