Not only that, but when I was camping the other week, somebody decided it was too difficult to trek to the outhouse on the campground and instead pooped right on the shower floor.
And finally, I heard from a friend that some jogger woman pooped behind his apartment in an alley.
What the hell? Why are people so fucking disgusting? Pooping in a fitting room? That’s even too low for WalMart. What is so difficult about getting to a bathroom? If one absolutely can’t, how the hell is it acceptable to leave your surprise for someone else to find? Ughhhhhhhhhh.
I for one have always wished for the oppotunity to piss on the Blarney Stone. I don’t know exactly why, but it seems as if it is the perfect passive-aggressive response to the amazing amount of bullshit which permeates the modern world.
There is a small alleyway near one liquor store in my town that has somehow become a “pee spot” for men. Guys run in there, do what they gotta do while keeping their backs to the entrance, and walk out.
Walking by there on a hot summer’s day will make you gag. I once puked it was so bad.
The other day I had to go number 2 so bad that I was contemplating pulling over on the side of the road. But I just clenched my butt cheeks as tightly as I could and sped home.
If I hadn’t been so lucky, who knows what would have happened!
It is rumoured that this is precisely what the locals of Blarney do after the pub shuts - though having kissed the thing myself, they must have pretty strong jets of pee, since the stone is under the ramparts at the top of a castle.
Heh… I saw another lost battle in the war against public micturation yesterday. I was walking down the street when I spied a young boy (about 4-5 years old) and his mother, waiting for a bus. The kid was dancing around a tree planted in the sidewalk, while his mother sat on a bench about five feet away. All of a sudden, the kid drops his pants and proceeds to let loose on the damn tree! I don’t think the mom noticed until a passing car started honking, at which point she lunged for the kid and started berating him about whippin’ it out in public. Man, I laughed for the rest of the day. That kid’s my hero.
But there have been times in my life when nature was calling and would NOT be ignored. Most of those times I was near a bathroom (just barely). On one occasion, I was not.
I did not choose the option that the female jogger did. In retrospect, I wish I had. Would’a saved me a pair of pants and an embarassing explanation…
Yet another reason to have a 5 gallon drywall bucket with lid, and a roll of toilet paper with you when traveling. Just part of the art of being prepared.
Maybe this is fuel for a new invention: the GoBag. Available in male and female, adult and child versions. You peel off the protective paper, and stick it to yourself, do your business, wipe with the included jasmine scented towelette, seal and mail to the politician of your choice. (Postage not included).
