Let’s pretend for a moment that the federation (empire) of North America is in decline. Losing its grip on its global economic and industrial interests, its political might and credibility fading, military capabilities compromised, overall social morality waning in favor of the all-unifying coin of the realm, which is itself weakening in the global market… Let’s just pretend that, as the hearts of the citizens harden with the pursuits of greed, lust and personal ambition, so does any sense of empathy for others who, willingly or otherwise, become the actors on the revitalized stage of bloodsport.
What is our arena? Who are the actors? What are the games? And, assuming some investment in the actors ala the NFL, NBA & NHL, what are the stakes–how frequently is a violent death simply a cost of doing business to enrapture an audience ever in search of just a little more?
I mean that mostly in jest. But the accidents are what make the highlights on SportsCenter. And “…as the hearts of the citizens harden with the pursuits of greed…” seems to define a sport where the participants race for the greater glory of Budweiser and Home Depot.
It’d have to be some version of (American) football, because it already fits some of the criteria now. (Note: I love football, I’m just not delusional about it.) Massively popular? Check. Violent? Check. Serious, lifelong injuries a common outcome? Check.
I’d say we could take football and just amp it up a bit. Put sharp little studs on the helmets and make any sort of hit legal, including spearing, clotheslining, face-masking, roughing the kicker/passer etc.
Actualy, except for the studs, this is pretty much how football was in the 1930s.
Tweak baseball a bit. Let the batter carry the bat with him as he runs the bases. Put a microchip and a bit of C-4 in the ball. When it is hit, the detenator may or may not be activated. The fiielder then takes his chances with catching the ball.
Anybody ever play Car Wars back in the day? Interesting little RPG.
Maybe our bloodsport is like NASCAR, only the vehicles have machine guns and mortar tubes mounted on them. Maybe Viagra will fund a team that drives a massive armored Winnebago with a surplus tank gun mounted topside.
If I remember rightly, three Recoilless Rifles will beat a tank gun at close to medium range. Two on the front and one on a turret - awesome for a midsize vehicle.
I think it’d be the NFL as well. It would only take a loosening of the rules to get a lot more serious injuries and a rougher game. Didn’t some movie (The Sixth Day?) posit a football team where dead players are replaced with “clones”? Car Wars had the same idea for popular combatants.
Yeah, but for the same weight and a few more bucks, you could have Vulcan machine guns. VMGs are more accurate and give you a selection of nifty ammo (armor piercing, tracer, incendiary) to choose from. Just sayin’.
The turnover would be too high to allow for a professional bloodsport. I think it would follow a reality show format with disposable victims competing for the possibility of a high payoff. Think Stephen King’s The Running Man (the book, not the movie. The movie had almost no relationship to the book). Some kind of last-one-standing elimination show with a particular hook or twist. Lobstermobster’s Battle Royale idea is in the right direction. All you’d need is some additional little gimmick. A way to string out the show a little and create “storylines” for individual contestants. Maybe keep it down to one death-match a week or something. I could see multiple show popping up with their own little themes. How about an old west style gunfighting tournement for instance? You have brackets and individual showdowns and work your way down to the last two shooters.
Whatever you did, I don’t think you’d want a constest of absolute brawn. You’d want there to be potential for upsets, surprises and underdogs.
I’m tending to agree that NFL is a natural precursor(thanks for the word of the day, Dewey) but as a culture we don’t like to repeal “safety” rules. The only exception I can think of was jacking speed limits back up to 70+. Pot will never be legal, and football helmets will never go back to leather.
But anyone who’s played flag football in college might remember some broken noses, blown knees and dislocations of farious sorts. If we can find a way to mix that up with the nonstop action of arena soccer or lacrosse…hey, professional lacrosse is up and coming. Didn’t Native Americans invent that? IIRC it was frequently fatal as they used a rock and no helmets. And there was often some good-natured bad blood between the teams.
Cage Fights are good, but the action has been tainted by the WWF clowns. We’ll need this to go to an arena and we’ll need frequent fatalities…preferably with celebreties not normally associated with fighting making an appearance from time to time…like throw Britney Spears in against the local weatherman with nothing but an honest-to-god katana between them.
Survivor, only the tribes have actual warfare against each other- and they have to improvise their weapons (clubs, spears, etc.) from available materials.
NASCAR with the rules altered so that deliberately trying to make the other cars crash is OK.
