Right forum / wrong forum? Please move as seen fit.
over in this thread there’s a few mentions made of “casual bisexuality” and continuing references to pederasty, male / male linkups from otherwise hetero guys.
So my question would be - what then happens in homosexuality when guys are “turned off” by sex with the opposite gender?
It would seem to me that (for example) a blow job is a blow job. Whether its a guy or a girl giving wouldn’t make much difference?
Same for anal sex etc etc.
Excepting the “emotional connection” of sex with someone you love what is the difference?
If you had only the tactile sensations to go on, then presumably you probably wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.
But you generally don’t have only the tactile sensations to go on, and for whatever reason, the rest of it (including, among many other things, your knowledge of the gender of the provider of the blowjob) does, for most people, influence to a significant degree their ability to be aroused by or otherwise enjoy the situation.
My mother might give a mean blowjob, but I’d be horrified to receive one from her, which I imagine would overwhelm any ability to be aroused, and would certainly reverse any enjoyment of the situation. Same sort of thing, just with respect to another criterion.
Thats a huge aside, though. If you take the view that sex is just a matter of physical sensation, is there any difference between sex with someone else and masturbation? But most of us view these as very different experiences.
Sex is about intimacy, communication, connection, trust, etc. The physically pleasurable sensations are just a small part of the package.
Sure, if you are blindfolded and deprived of certain other sensory clues, you may not be able to tell whether you are getting a blowjob or a hand/finger job from a man or a woman. But few of us would consider a succession of encounters of this kind a fulfilling sexual relationship.
As usual in this sort of thing, the answer is, “it depends.”
Way back when anonymous sex was much more common in the gay community than it was today, it wasn’t unusual to find oneself in a “back room” that was so dark you literally couldn’t see the person(s) you were interacting with. Basically if someone was doing something with you and it felt good, that was all you needed. Of course it was assumed that everyone involved was at least male, but beyond that, your imagination usually filled in the details; you could imagine that someone was whatever you wanted him to be.
I do remember one incident. I had received oral sex from someone, and he was damn good . . . he got me to stay just on the verge for a very long time, then finally let me have my release. It was the kind of place that didn’t involve follow-up or social niceties, so I zipped up and walked out. The guy followed me. Now being in a better-lit place, I turned around to see him. He was the most repulsive-looking human being I had ever seen. There was absolutely nothing about his appearance that wasn’t horrible. I just turned away from him, walked a little faster, and at some point I vomited. I hope that poor guy didn’t see that part.
Now it goes without saying that if I had seen the guy in the first place the sex never would have happened. As wonderful as it was, it’s the horrible part that sticks in my memory more than 30 years later. And it’s not just horrible from my point of view; I sympathize with the guy who was able to give such a gift, yet could only do it where he couldn’t be seen. It was just very sad on so many levels.
And yes, it has crossed my mind that at some point I may have received oral sex from a female . . . a gender I am not interested in sexually. If I had found out afterwards I think my reaction would have been similar. Getting great sex from someone who, for various reasons, turns you off is just not worth it. The negativity of the overall experience by far outweighs the immediate physical pleasure.
This is the part that I would like to hear more about. Much as I don’t care what two consenting adults do to each other in their own house (heh - please don’t confine yourself to the bedroom) I really think there’s a lot we (I) don’t understand about homosexuality beyond the differences that have been found in brain stems.
(To me) there must be - if people can get off from people they find physically repugnant, engage in swinger parties, one night stands, casual annonymous sex what difference does it make if those lips wrapped around your “dumbstick” (to quote Lucy Liu) are male or female?
I don’t know what you’re asking, beyond what I’ve already said.
This has nothing to do with homosexuality. It has to do with people wanting to experience pleasure with someone they’re attracted to, rather than someone who repulses them. Who doesn’t want that?
Sexual pleasure is as much mental as physical, and if you’re attracted to someone you’re having sex with, you’re going to enjoy it more and have an easier time performing than if you’re not.
bolding mine, and answered first. what makes you think it would be the same? are you straight? bi? gay? or an alien of some kind. I havent ever met someone who was perfectly Bi that I am aware of. So I am pretty much saying this is a really silly assumption.
for the first part, gays arent “turned off” any more than straights are “turned off” its a matter of what you find to be sexually attractive. I am straight, I definitely find the idea of me having sex with another man repulsive because my idea of sex is with women (before anyone goes off with all that homophobe crap) so essentially the only people I want to have sex with are females of the human variety. this is a very important distinction. most people only see male/female or male/male or female/female and forget the other billion options out there. there are people who want to have sex with cows, geese, horses, tables, trees, children, the crippled, you name it and someone somewhere wants to fuck it. now there are some people who have looser definitions of what is a sexual partner but you will find most people are pretty much only turned on at the thought of having sex with whatever their sexual wiring tells them is appropriate.