Beware, all ye who enter here whose names are not in the subject line: Mundane Pointlessisty to the extreme follows.
So go.
Now.
PLEEEEEEEASE?
<sigh> Okay, I guess you’re all here for the long run. I guess that’s good…in a sense.
In case you’re all extremely confused, which I know I would be by now, I’ll give a bit of background. Deiket is currently a wee bit pissed off at me. I won’t go into details, but let’s just say that laughing at one’s girlfriend online is not the best approach to dating. Trust me.
So, to remedy this obvious problem, I have decided to subject myself to utterly pointless (and public) humiliation. This will all be done in an attempt to make amends with Deiket, and maybe amuse all of you onlookers as well. Oh, and to make a complete fool out of me.
So, I shall now proceed on this tour of emotional scarring. First stop, and most obvious, is the baby talk.
<ahem>
Hewwo? Deiket? I’m weeeeeeeeeeewy, weeeeeeeeeeeeeewy sorry. Would voo forgive me? Pweeeeaaasse?
<puppy dog eyes>
I picked some fwowers just por voo! See! They’re pwetty!
Pweeeease don’t be mad!
<short bow>
Now, before I smap out of it and realize what I’m doing, I’ll just move along to the next phase: crappy poetry.
Deiket is a person
Who means alot to me.
She’s sweet and kind and funny,
And nice as she can be.
I’m really, really sorry,
As I hope that you can see,
Through my super-lame attempt,
At sappy po-e-try.
<shudder> Wow. Remind me never to be a poet.
And now, to the last stage. The <gulp> request session. If there is anyone left who has made it through this thread without leaving in disgust, I put myself at your mercy. If you post a request for some sort of on-the-messag-board humiliation, I promise that I will carry it out, to its full extent. Hell, I may even be dumb enough to listen to Real-Life requests. I leave my salvation up to you, of fellow Dopers!
And just for good measure…<throws self at Deiket’s feet>
[sub]Man, I’m gonna regret this tomorrow.[/sub]