Deiket, a word.

Beware, all ye who enter here whose names are not in the subject line: Mundane Pointlessisty to the extreme follows.

So go.



<sigh> Okay, I guess you’re all here for the long run. I guess that’s good…in a sense.

In case you’re all extremely confused, which I know I would be by now, I’ll give a bit of background. Deiket is currently a wee bit pissed off at me. I won’t go into details, but let’s just say that laughing at one’s girlfriend online is not the best approach to dating. Trust me.

So, to remedy this obvious problem, I have decided to subject myself to utterly pointless (and public) humiliation. This will all be done in an attempt to make amends with Deiket, and maybe amuse all of you onlookers as well. Oh, and to make a complete fool out of me.

So, I shall now proceed on this tour of emotional scarring. First stop, and most obvious, is the baby talk.

Hewwo? Deiket? I’m weeeeeeeeeeewy, weeeeeeeeeeeeeewy sorry. Would voo forgive me? Pweeeeaaasse?
<puppy dog eyes>
I picked some fwowers just por voo! See! They’re pwetty!

Pweeeease don’t be mad!

<short bow>

Now, before I smap out of it and realize what I’m doing, I’ll just move along to the next phase: crappy poetry.

Deiket is a person
Who means alot to me.
She’s sweet and kind and funny,
And nice as she can be.
I’m really, really sorry,
As I hope that you can see,
Through my super-lame attempt,
At sappy po-e-try.

<shudder> Wow. Remind me never to be a poet.

And now, to the last stage. The <gulp> request session. If there is anyone left who has made it through this thread without leaving in disgust, I put myself at your mercy. If you post a request for some sort of on-the-messag-board humiliation, I promise that I will carry it out, to its full extent. Hell, I may even be dumb enough to listen to Real-Life requests. I leave my salvation up to you, of fellow Dopers!

And just for good measure…<throws self at Deiket’s feet>

[sub]Man, I’m gonna regret this tomorrow.[/sub]

I regret it now.

<evil grin>

As sweet and cute as that was, you were VERY mean, Jester dear. You KNOW I’m insecure, yet you laughed at me for five minutes straight! It hury me, it really did!


I don’t think this post was enough for me to forgive you…

So I call on all of you, my fellow Dopers, to take Jester up on his wonderful offer of public humiliation. Anything you can throw at him would be much appriciated as I DO want to forgive him.

Thank you all in advance…

<maniacal laughter>
(He really does deserve it, though, but… you know, go a LITTLE easy on him. He is only human…)

That should read “It HURT me.”


<mutters> Preview, Deiket. PREVIEW

<stalks off>


He could have put on a Julie Andrews accent, go roaming around in the hills in a dress and start singing “Dieket, a doper, a female doper.”


Dear lord.

Thanks, Merc. BAAAAD mental picture.


Quel horreur. What did the little fish do now? Humiliation, eh? Well. Let’s see.

I could always throw those rotten tomatoes I didn’t get to use last Thanksgiving. Or the plague of locusts I was planning to use for April Fool’s Day. Or…

I DEMAND to know what Deiket did or said so that I may laugh at her too!!

Lets everybody laugh at Deiket! points and laughs

Jester, my hapless friend…what did you do?

And for punishment…hmm… Clean her room in a french maid’s outfit? (I bet you look good in a little white cap)

A nice dinner, flowers, chocolate and a long massage might not hurt either. (But she has to have forgiven you a little bit by then, that’s more final stage stuff.)

Whammo, I can’t refuse you, seeing as how you DEMAND to know, so here’s the convo in question:

JDevil1013: I’ve decided not to complain to you anymore.
Mojo530: Okay.
JDevil1013: <nods>
Mojo530: <snicker>
Mojo530: <snort>
Mojo530: I…I…
Mojo530: I…
JDevil1013: I hate you.
Mojo530: Okay…okay…I’m done.
Mojo530: <ahem>
Mojo530: k.
Mojo530: All done.
Mojo530: You were saying?

See if you can guess which one is me. As you can see, it was probably the most tactful response on my part. Still, that’s the reason for the thread, no?

And Medea’s Chil, I’ll be happy to oblige on the second request, but for the first one, she has to buy the outfit herself. Then I MAY wear it.

Ok - since noone else has made a clear request:

Jester, I want to see a long, drawn-out, reasoned post on why what you did was wrong according to your own beliefs. It must be thorough, and it must grovel at her, since your SO is clearly the single most important thing in your life (and yes, that does include the Steelers season AND food, both).

Or, if that’s too hard, you could write an amusing story that has nothing to do with either of you. After all, humor heals many things - when it’s legitimate. [sub][sup]Not to mention that I am always happy to read an amusing post…

Oh, no, Jester! You should have to buy it! In person. Oh, and you also have to buy fish net stockings in your size. If the salesperson asks why you’re buying what you’re buying, you cannot lie.

Then you have to post your shopping experience here, in this thread.

How’s that for “on-the-message board-humiliation”, Deiket?

I was, of course, referring to the French Maid scenario, not the dinner.

A woman… nay… a GIRLFRIEND even, NOT complaining???



Oh, Whammo, dude…I don’t think you’re helping Jester much… :slight_smile:

Hmm…Medea’s Child had the right idea, but how about combining the two:
Nice flowers, chocolates, and taking her out for a nice dinner with a long massage afterwards…while wearing a French maid’s outfit.

[Kevin McDonald from Kids in the Hall]Evil! Evil![/Kevin McDonald from Kids in the Hall]

Sorry, Jester. :smiley:

silent_rob? You’re my new best friend!! <grin>

Hehe… :slight_smile:

Damn, AR. THAT has some style to it, dear.

Oh, and, Jester, buddy, if you ever try your hand at poetry again, I’ll have no choice but do subject you to humiliation the likes of which makes Arden’s suggestion look like an invitation to a church picnic.

Making fun of your SO like that it terrible, but some things are just downright unforgivable.