So I’m out knocking on doors like the assiduous candidate that I am.
knock knock
Me: Hi, my name’s Matt McLauchlin and I’m the NDP candidate in your riding. I’m going through the riding reminding people to vote on November 27.
Him: Oh, I don’t vote.
Me: OK, and can I ask why not?
Him: I’m a Jehovah’s Witness. We’re not supposed to vote.
Me: I see. Why’s that?
Him: We’re not supposed to get involved in earthly and temporal affairs like that.
Me: Well, what about rendering unto Caesar what is Caesar’s? (I’m no slouch. I went to Sunday school.)
Him: Well, we do. We pay our taxes, but we don’t get involved in the system, because the kingdom led by man will fall away.
Me: Well, what about a kingdom led by woman? (Alexa McDonough, head of the NDP, is of course the only female head in the five major parties.)
Him: Makes no difference. I’m waiting for the kingdom of God to come and replace all earthly kingdoms.
Me: Well, until that happens, could I interest you in voting NDP?
Him: …
Me: Have a good day.
My only run in with JW’s was several years back. They came to my door and hanging over the railing behind me…and in hindsight it looked very prominently displayed over our stairwell… was an original WWII Nazi Battleflag that I purchased the day before and I was inspecting it. I never thought that they would leave without closing a door in their face. I was proved wrong. I guess I was beyond saving.
Oh well. I was wanting to try it on the Mormons but I always forgot it.
In the Netherlands the Jehova’s Witnesses have become pretty moderate, so I really don’t have a problem with them. If you tell them you’re not interested, they’ll apologize for taking up your time and go on their way. About a year ago though a Witness came calling and I made his day.
He started out with something like “I suppose you’ve seen on TV all the atrocities that are going on in Whateverville, and…” I then interrupted him with a friendly “No, I don’t because I don’t have TV.” I really don’t, and he could tell I was telling the truth.
His face lit up and this beatific smile appeared. He found one! He completely forgot the rest of his shtick and wandered off, still smiling.
About two months ago, he came by again. He had brought a friend. When I told them that I still didn’t have TV, they both wandered off smiling.
[sup]I do own a VCR, a TV-type monitor and a shitload of videos (Tarantino, Scorsese, Peckinpah), but I didn’t want to confuse the issue for the Witness. Also, that first time, if he had listened carefully, he would have heard Black Sabbath in the background.[/sup]
A real life convo between a JW and myself, a few years ago.
JW: Good afternoon, Sir. Can I use a few minutes of your precious time to talk to you about all the evil that materialism does to this world?
Me: Sure man. Just lemme shut off the stereo and the computer, I’ll be right back.
(Always happens to me. JWs, the Mormons and the local Islamic contingent always arrive during my dinner (and always throught the gate that does not have the “No Soliciting” sign (only that sign gets stolen, no matter how many times we replace it!).
My grandfather: You’re wasting your time. I don’t believe in God.
JW: (Pointing at trees, the yard, etc.) Then where did all of this come from?
MG: How should I know? I don’t even know how my television works.
Please explain why they were smiling and what it was that they found. Not being that familiar with the Netherlands and not enough about the JWs, I don’t get it. Thanks!
H
