Delicious irony! I canvassed a Jehovah's Witness!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
61

Be patient with me, you’ll see the connection in a minute.

I went through a phase about a year or so ago where I thought I’d see what this whole dominatrix thing was all about. So I bought clothes and toys, met a trainer and off I went. Last year just before Thanksgiving, I was having my Xmas lights put up and my carpet shampooed by a slave (the common term for the submissive party). For the normal people out there, when you have a slave perform sissy maid chores around the house, such as shampooing carpets, everyone dresses up. It’s a fantasy thing. Anyway, the “maid” was shampooing my 12 year old’s room (my child went to the movies with a friend), the doorbell rang. I panicked - here I am in black spandex leather, 5" spike heels, and a flog in one hand, and I’m quite sure one of my kid’s friends is on the other side of the door. OK, so I cracked the door open and peeked around it, and I see a middle aged man, a young adult male (appx. 17-20) and a pre-teen boy. I don’t know what religion they are, but I told them I wasn’t interested in their offerings. They persisted (I guess they knew my soul really needed saving) so I opened the door quickly and all the way and said Look, I’m really kind of busy in here. Stammer, stammer, well, ma’am, can we leave this here with you? No, I’m busy and don’t have time right now, goodbye. I thought that kid’s eyes would pop out of his eye sockets!

62

I’ve never actually tried these, but I’m 99.9999% sure theyld be highly effective against even the most determined JW, Mormon, or any other religious loony.

  1. If they come while you’re in the shower, just answer the door with a towel around your private parts. When they give you whatever literature they’re passing out, take it with the hand holding the towel, “accidentally” exposing yourself. Start reading it as if you don’t care that you’re naked.

  2. If you have some kind of large, friendly reptile, have it on your shoulder when you answer the door.

  3. For JW’s, tell them you’re not interested in any religion that practices human sacrifice. When they ask you what you’re talking about, tell them about how they prohibit blood transfusions and consequently let their kids die of blood loss.

63

Being a PK and all, normally I wouldnt find this funny, but for some reason whenever “Jehovah’s Witness” comes up, I bust a gut, ususally cause the blow everything out of perportion. good job man! lol

64

For once, someone bothered a Jehovah’s Witness at thier house when they aren’t suspecting it.

65

Look smug and tell them “My god could beat up your god!”

I saw this on an internet humor site, I don’t remember where.