vanilla, I am not really making fun, I am very intrigued. First of all, was the literature all you picked up at the store and nothing else? I mean, maybe it was the peanut butter you brought home that was possessed or something. Also, what kind of literature was it? You say it was “kind of” occultic–what does that mean? Was it a pamphlet on “Demon Summoning for Fun and Profit” or was it some info on how to read tarot cards for your friends?
foolsguinea: She just prayed the blood of Jesus. Thats all thats necessary, no weird candles or any such media stuff.
It was a small bookstore with “offbeat” books, some occult, some counterculture(hippie stuff!)
It was something about Subgenius. I know, i know, totally harmless you say.
Did Not buy any peanut butter that day.
I won’t make fun, Vanilla (and you KNOW what a bitch I am, so you’ll appreciate the effort it takes for me to be pleasant and serious!). I just think that perhaps you jumped to conclusions—mightn’t there have been a perfectly ordinary, non-demon-related reason that vaccuum cleaner was turning itself on?
That IS what I’d thought.
I mean, when a toy starts making noise, you think, Okay, somethign jolted it; someone slammed a door.
Your mind says, no way this supernatural thing could be unexplained.
I still can’t explain it.
Twice, two nights in a row, same time almost?
I’d had it a bit, it never did it before.
The Church of the Subgenius is occultic?!
Great Bob! Your definition of occult and that of probably most of these boards is very, very different…
I thought you had bought the paperback pseudo-Necronomicon or something about haunted houses. A Subgenius book doesn’t even cut it, by just about anyone’s definition.
jayjay
Vanilla,
if you had summoned a demon, wouldn’t it do something more dramatic (and evil) than just switching on a toy?
I’ve had ‘appliances’ switch on by themselves occasionally - but there was always a mundane explanation (loose switch, vibration etc).
Your last point ‘it never did it before’ is not as dramatic as it sounds. The first time anything happens, it never did before. Why is that mysterious?
Not the Church of the Subgenius, obviously. I mean, surely Bob has no poltergeists.
Heck, I don’t think Fang the Unwashed has poltergeists!
But then, what do I know?
So far the general answer to the OP seems to be “No, unless you REALLY know what you’re doing, and probably not even then.”
I have enough trouble avoiding nastiness and evil in my life, without seeking to invite it into my home.
Ikujinashi said
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!?!? My prices are VERY reasonable.
Oh wait, you meant some one else. My mistake.
Carry on.
A couple people have said this stuff isn’t funny. I beg to differ. Hasn’t anyone here seen the movie Faust? Those big wooden puppet demons never fail to amuse the bejeezus out of me.
“Faustus, faustus! Huuughblubhbluhubhbubhlllbhbh!!”
See? I’m laughing right now! Hell is funny!
Well, personally (as opposed to publicly) I would do it just to see if anything happened. I do not believe in demons, although in an ideal world kathy lee would turn out to be one.
I would think that a bunch of young people (like myself) being bored one saturday afternoon might do it just to try to freak other people out. Sort of like chicken, to prove who would actually wuss out and who would go ahead.
Kdeus: Hmm, I wonder if there is a God?
<kdeus attempts demon summoning>
if unsuccessful, little to no knowledge gained in either direction. Kdeus not sufficient believer, summoning performed incorrectly, or no God are most likely reasons for failure.
If “successful,” supernatural beings do exist (if-demons-then-God-exists is a pretty logical jump, n’est pas?). And I have done a BAD THING. Proceed directly to confession.
Confession wont send away the Yattering. But if you offer him some fairy dust to snort–tell him its some primo flake–his head implodes and his body disintegrates before your eyes, leaving nothing but a foul smell and his watch and wallet. I do it all the time, whenever I am short of cash.
Stupid little demons. They all have good taste, they just steal the best stuff, but to the last they have the mentality of surfer punks. Hey! Free blow! Ugly sucking sound, chlorine vapor and a month in the Pyrenees with my new Rolex. Yiha! If you need directions on how to summon the Yattering I have a fool proof method.
Possibly the biggest benefits of demon summoning (aside from Jarbaby’s point that the sex would be amazing). It doesn’t even matter if you can’t prove it to other people.
You talk about it in public, you get a really comfy room with people watching out for you 24/7, and the most fantastic psychotropic drugs insurance can buy.
Plus you get to go on disability. No more pesky working! 
-BK (who’s very tempted to try this out, seeing as she’s really pissed at her boss right now)
Really, if I were a demon, I’d do something more interesting. First, I wouldn’t attach myself to a book on the Church of the Sub-Genius in hopes someone would take me home. I definitely go for a New York Times bestseller.
And there’s so much more fun to be had than making a toy vacuum cleaner make weird sounds. I’d go all around the house in a back and forth motion like I was really cleaning the floor. And then I’d possess the Easy Bake Oven and burn everything that got cooked. And then I’d hop over to the Tickle Me Elmo and make it laugh until no one could stand it, which wouldn’t be very long. And then… 
Man, there’s just so much fun to be had for demons, and all they do is make vacuum cleaners rattle. Where’s the originality? Maybe all the talented ones are currently filling acting roles in Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Demons possessed my power supply which made it randomly turn on my computer, but then I sent it back because it had a warranty and they exorcised the demons through repairing it.
I certainly won’t say why, but I do believe in demons. I did want to comment on this though:
[/quote]
I don’t exactly summon him, but the Mailer-Daemon has visited me many a time.
[/quote]
I about wet my pants when I read that line. I belive I have a new sig line!
Zette
You know, late at night I often find myself thumbing through my fridge or the pantry and I say to myself,
“I just don’t know what I want to eat.”
Then and only then is it alright to Summon a Demon.
Dont just worry about what might happen to you.
The evil that men do lives after them;
the good is oft interred with their bones.
Shakespeare, Julius Caesar, III, 1
“And so you see, Evil will always triumph over Good…because Good is dumb.”
Never summoned a demon. Quite honestly, the people who’ve moved in and out of my life have done more damage to me than I think was necessary…
No, no. I think I’ll leave the demon-summoning to the experts.
Hrm, do you suppose a selfless wish would offset the damage done to the summoner?