(depression) what the hell am I doing?

Well, gotta vent, I guess.:frowning:

I feel like, at the moment, I’m the most insignificant person in the world. If I were to croak, I figure 4 mourners, tops. And 4 is being generous.

Now, I know this is just chronic depression talking, and yeah, I’m medicating, and I know tommorow I’ll probably feel better blah blah blah.

But at the moment… I dunno. I don’t know what to do. All I can do is sit here and be miserable.

And yeah, maybe it is a sick cry for help.

Back to your regularly scheduled dope.

That’s ok – that makes two of us. As I put it in a prayer driving home from work through some rather heavy storms, “I’m tired of living, but I don’t want to die just yet.” I’m tired of my boss, tired of my life, and tired of struggling. Tell you what. There’s a hot tub party going on about 3 threads up. Why don’t we head up there, wallow in hot water, wallow in our sorrows, and see if we can’t find some nice, friendly Dopers who’d be willing to hug and maybe even comfort a couple of sad sacks like us. Failing that, there’s always Cecil’s Place, although the place has been quiet of late, and I hear the person who runs it’s kind of down.

If you’d like a hug and a shoulder to cry on, I can spare one. My e-mail address is in my profile.

CJ

ArrMatey! what an excellent user name…

If it has been a long time since you last saw your prescribing doctor, then it may be time to see them about a modification on the meds. I know that seroxat (cellexia in US) (sp?) worked for me very well for a couple of years, but then started to lose effectiveness, I had to increase dose a few times to get the effect back. And later switched to other meds.
I find the ‘force’ making me just sit and be miserable overbearing some of the time, but sometimes I can fight force with force and make myself go out and do something no matter how much I know it won’t help.

I’m not going to tell you to cheer up or anything; that would be counterproductive. But, as I’m sure you’re aware, it will pass. But you’re not insignificant. Really.

(Incidentally, are there two ArrMateys on the board? Because I recall having talked to you apparently before you ever signed up, which is just a trifle bizarre.)

Thanks for making me aware of Cecil’s Place. I suffer from depression and anxiety attacks fairly often. This board is just great for helping each other out from everything I have observed thus far.