Christmas, birthday, anniversary, sweet, touching, snarky, whatever. If you can find a picture, so much the better.
Best friend gave me a Xmas card (early 1980s) with something like this on it. I plotzed.
I used to work in a Hallmark store during grad school, so I remember quite a few. I’ll have more of them as I remember them, but one of the ones I remember most was an anniversary card from husband to wife:
Me big caveman.
Live alone.
Have big TV.
Sit on stone.
Life seem happy,
Then one day…
Me see new thing.
Brain go “HEY!”
Her not dirty…
Her not gritty…
Me confused.
Her smell pretty.
Brain go “ping!”
Heart go “knock!”
Me give girl-thing
Pretty rock.
Now me have-um happy life!
It feel perfect! Me love wife!
“Money is tight,
times are hard,
so here’s your fucking
christmas card.”
Verse on a handmade xmas card.
I always loved the Peanuts card where Lucy says “Happy 40th Birthday.” And Linus says “Come on, nobody lives to be that old.”
You saved me the trouble of posting. Saw that card in a grocery store, but for a birthday. Appropriate for any occasion, IMHO. 
My husband sent me a card once that said, “Eat, Sleep, Think of you. It’s a hectic life.” That’s the one that immediately leapt to mind.
I sent one to my aunt. Had a cartoon pic of a woman in bed with a colorful Mohawk and piercings. Inside it said: I heard you’re feeling punk!
My dad once gave my mom a card with this image.
The inside text read:
Here’s to another exciting year.
My favorite postcard. It was given to me by my first girlfriend, whom I loved very much. I broke up with the girl, but I still have a postcard.
The image was of a dog being scared by a women with a vacuum cleaner, and the caption inside was “Just trying to avoid things that suck”.
Can’t find it online, but I remember a Christmas card that showed a cat wearing a Santa hat, looking smugly at the camera. The caption was, “Fluffy listened very carefully to what all the mice wanted for Christmas, and then he ate them.”
I have one that I’ve saved for years. Now I take a picture of it and text it, because I don’t want to part with it. It’s a New Yorker cartoon. Not sure what occasion it’s for.
A simple line drawing. Man standing in front of his refrigerator. A note is stuck on it. The note says:
Pick up cleaning
Pay bills
Forge in the smithy of my soul the uncreated conscience of my race
Call mom
The caption is: James Joyce’s refrigerator
My favorite is a Christmas card I bought in 1980 at a store in a mall in Ames, Iowa.
A drawing of a blue and white interstate road sign on the front saying:
Bethlehem - 2 miles
Food
Gas
No Lodging
The inside just said “Merry Christmas”, or something as far as I can remember.
Birthday card: Front says “The gang got together and decided to send you this card.”
On the inside you’ve got a guy standing in front of a group making marks on a chalkboard with the two possibilities being “card” and “gift”.
One of my favorite birthday cards (the text inside is in the gray box on the right): Chimp Fortune Teller Birthday Card | PaperCards.com
My SO gave me a card that said “I love you with my whole ass” on the front. On the inside it said “It is bigger than my heart”
I had surgery a couple of months ago. I had kind of a rough time in the hospital.
A couple of days after I got home, a cousin sent me a get-well card with a photo of a forlorn-looking dog with one of those plastic cones around his neck.
I laughed harder than I had in weeks.
Somewhere in the distant past, I started giving my immediate family cards at Christmas that had nothing to do with Christmas but everything to do with them. At first I had to find the right card during the year (with no connection to any special occasion). Then one day it occurred to me to look at the back of the card and do some googling. Since then, I just look through the website in November and order what I pick out.
My sister’s favorite card is this one (she not only has a dog that looks exactly like this one, but he is convinced he can’t swim!)
http://www.funnyandtrue.com/Cards/All-Occasion_3/Borealis-Press-Greeting-Card_278.html
But my favorite is one I gave copies of to both my sisters at the same time. In many ways, it sums up their childhood.
A couple of Hallmark Shoebox Christmas cards:
Cartoon of Three Wise Men/Three Kings traveling by camel to Bethlehem, with caption underneath: “It’s rarely smooth sailing when three Kings travel together.” The kings’ dialogue: “I wanna ride up front!” “Yeah! Who died and made YOU king?” “My dad.”
Dasher putting the moves on a pretty doe in a bar: “Yeah…I’m a pilot.”
And one for Halloween:
“Halloween on the Starship Enterprise.” A photo of the bridge crew with superimposed thought balloons over every crew member (except, of course, Spock):
“Think I’ll get a pair of pointy ears and go as Spock.”
I got this Far Side cartoon as a card for Christmas a few years ago, and it’s still a favorite: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-kSxcG-jRxbQ/VnsQTDqiKtI/AAAAAAAANYI/pAjKETI6cKw/s1600/WiseGuys%2BFar%2Bside.jpg
