Actually, it would be better if people could just go around with post-its or stickers that they stick on people’s backs that say something like, “I Am a Pronoun Abuser,” or “My Subject and Verb Don’t Agree.”
These people should probably be required to register as Grammar Offenders, wear black and pink striped t-shirts, and be put in a worldwide Grammar Offenders Database so they can’t get within 100 ft of an elementary school. Our children must be protected from this pernicious influence.
We’ll need a Creation Museum that proves once and for all that the Earth is only 4,000 years old and that humans and dinosaurs once lived together in perfect harmony.
You know…like this one: http://creationmuseum.org/
Also, a Jesus Christ looping roller coaster.
We need a train wreck ride. It’s a roller coaster that goes off the rails after the first few loops and ends in a flaming pit. You might want to think twice about getting on it, but watching is always good fun.
“Pit Land” would have fighting arenas open to the public, each variously equipped with fighting media suitable to the level of rancor. Having a silly argument with a friend? The jello Pit. Utterly furious with your girlfriends brother/Father/Husband? A pit filled with 91 percent capsaicin hot sauce. Got whooshed and feling embarrassed about it? The Silly Putty Pit.
A really great Roller Coaster called “The Big Whoosh”.
A test kitchen where folks can face off on the best way to make oatmeal.
A shrine to the goat.
Kidland, with strategically placed one-way mirrors. The real attraction is for other folks to walk through Spying on the kids behavior and criticizing the parents.
All the restrooms should have one-way mirrored walls, so that the public can’t see in but you still have the sensation of peeing in front of them.
Every restroom also has a long list of rules and cultural expectations for you to review and sign off before entering. There is still urine and paper towels all over the floor.
Some attractions randomly disappear after you’ve waited in line for an hour for them.
A relationship dunk tank, where each member gets to tell his/her side and then the crowd votes on which should dump the other.
One minor detail that is only disclosed on page 16 of the disclaimer is that the interactivity may not be entirely voluntary on the part of the ‘spectators’.
That doesn’t sound like a very good name for a roller coaster. And I thought this thread was supposed to be for jokes about the board/message boards in general.
The Python Pavillion. Accessed through a sound-proofed corridor, there are re-creations of the most popular sketches while the food court serves cheese(maybe) and fresh fruit on pointed sticks.
In fact, people aren’t allowed there. Seeing their faces will detract from my experience in some ineffable way.
And no audio, because hearing sound will do the same.
In fact, the park should just be a bunch of computers in separate rooms where people can type things and put them into some set of organized discussions, possibly with each set of “text” having some sort of name attached to it, for consistency’s sake – maybe each name could also have a searchable history or something (but not searchable too often!).
Actually, why make people come down to the cubicles? We could just make this “set of organized discussions” a database on a server and allow people to connect via internet.
I’m so brilliant. This idea is going to make me ALL THE MONEY.
