“The Big Whoosh” is a joke based on the board’s tendencies to label a misunderstanding of a previous post “a whoosh”.
There should be a hot dog stand where all of the hot dogs are way overcooked. It would be called “I Burning You Dog”.
And there shall be no ketchup at this hot dog stand.
And that’s the joke!
You mean these suggestions aren’t serious? Well, crap.
*<Thelma wads up graph paper, throws down her pencil, and goes off in a huff!>
<Or maybe in a minute-and-a-huff>
<Or maybe in a taxi>
*
An echo chamber containing ducks
The entrance fee would be $0.999… or $1 - your choice
There has to be something Tolkien - famous authors rewriting contest? Obscure Valaquenta bar trivia? Something
Haunted Blimp ride
Brian
(More specifically, the joke was that a joke about whoosing whooshed me. Which then whooshed you. Whooshception)
Nobody’s mentioned “Cow-orker Tipping”?
There would be a boat ride. “Rio” by Duran Duran would play throughout. Incessantly.
And human chow. The concession stands will serve generic human chow. You can eat it every meal for the rest of your life, and be happy.
Come to the arcade and play your fill of Whac-A-Troll.
The “Can you fart through your dick?” game booth, in memory of my favorite GQ title ever.
“The house of a thousand beeps!” where you win a prize if you can locate the source of a very faint beeping sound.
[QUOTE=CalMeacham;16443923–The Hal Briston Petting Zoo[/QUOTE]
That would be the Hal Briston Heavy Petting (or more) Zoo, right?
Anyway, I’m in line for the Groundhog Shooting Gallery…
Why would anyone want to pet Hal Briston?
For the kids, the Grapist coloring gallery.
In the very center of the Park, there is the magnificent Ask Cecil pavilion. Be sure to bow before entering, and never ask who is behind the curtain.
And then there is the often closed Portrait Gallery, right next to the “How you doing?” dating bar.
Over in the carnival area is a dunk tank in the shape of a Sousaphone. Hit the sweet spot with a baseball, and…splash! TubaDiva!
I see a sign that says, “Modwalk.” The font used is Bodoni.
Special discounts on Mondays for a certain group of Dopers. Bonus points if you end up sitting next to them and can understand anything they say. 
I can’t wait to see the extensive map legend so I can understand what all these attractions are about.
Every hour, on the hour, we launch a goat into orbit via a cannon.
I’m still working on it, but I guarantee “The Pit” will be the scariest fun house ride ever.