Of course, we can borrow from Epcot and have a Russian section of the park where things are reversed. In the Russian petting zoo, horses ride YOU!
Trying in vain to come up with an attraction about circumcision -
I got nuthin’…
Whack-A-Mole?
With great big hammers?
Will there be hamster rides?
There has to be a “pics or it didn’t happen” photo booth.
Miranda: Oh, Straight Dope World
That hath such people in it!
If someone will pay their fares, of course the hamsters can go on rides.
One big negative about the park - every couple of weeks, you randomly won’t be able to get in during normal hours.
And perhaps a Winter of Our Lost Content skating rink?
Every other hour. Alternating with the squid.
Only problem-no ice.
Don’t forget the alternative menu - Food Pills, because all that eating is taking valuable time out of your hectic, productive life and therefore, by extension, promoting Communism.
When you get bored with the SDMB Theme Park (“Fighting Ig World”), you can truck on over to our beach party. Volleyball, anyone?
There will be an exhibit called “About This Theme Park”. It will be interactive - ask a question, up pops a circle of wagons and a stone wall.
Regards,
Shodan
It’ll need a Political Arena - with a left and right wing, of course. Pick a side and spend the ride intentionally misrepresenting what riders on the other side said.
There are much shorter lines on the right-wing side.
Regards,
Shodan
Which is unfortunate, because the right-wing side is crazy, disorienting, barf-inducing, the way a theme park ride is supposed to be.
Well, that’s true enough. But it’s also a terribly narrow section of the park. I’m not sure we could comfortably fit too many more visitors over there in any case.
If it gets a little warm you walk on over to “Cafe Land” and step into the air conditioned theater playing The Great Ongoing Guitar Show.
Hall of Cysts, a slow tram ride through interactive dioramas celebrating nature’s endless wonder of sebaceous infections. Bring your poncho.
The Rare Films Theater, featuring the alternative-ending Big, Luke Skywalker watching the space battle through his binoculars, and Eye-gor’s missing hump.
And every Thursday in the park, sexy quadrapalegics ride free!
What hump?
– EE-gor