I’m not saying i can break you. But you sure as hell can’t break me!!
I think I agree with Jim. You need some help.
Actually, most of the time the reason I strike out is because of my sense of humor. You’ve all been exposed to it, but last few dates haven’t been able to handle it. That, or they didn’t get the jokes. Although, I have to say that opening up with a joke that begins with, “What did the man-whore say to the little boy?” does have to be the worst pickup line I’ve ever heard.
And Palmyra, you can be broken. Even if I have to pull all my minions in to help me. They follow my every command without question as long as I supply them with a never ending supply of beer. For some reason, when I’m out of beer, I lose their attention. I haven’t figured that part of it out, yet.
Ag, have you met my last bf? there ain’t no one who can break me!!
Why does everybody pick on me? It’s not like I’m asking for it or anything.
I just realized I may very well hit 800 posts in this thread alone.
I think it has something to do with that sign Palmyra put on your back.
The sign didn’t say anything about mustard on my forehead did it? That would be sooo embarrasing.
Also, I was just looking in the ‘What Doper/Dopers would you buy a drink for?’ thread and realized somebody didn’t buy me the drink they said they would. Yep, Jim(one of my beer minions) might be running around breaking some knee caps pretty soon. Everybody needs to watch their step. And for another Mug O’ Wine poured straight from the box, I might be able to get Grace to join up.
you weren’t supposed to tell him!!!
I still haven’t figured out how you got mustard on your forehead. I should’ve left it there just to see how long you it would’ve taken you to notice. Of course since you have this bathroom thing with strangers, you probably would’ve noticed and ruined my fun.
OK. That’s now 4 simulposts in one thread. Are we anywhere near a record?
Anyway, I’m going to bed. All this typing has worn me out. Night everybody.
You’re not the only one baffled by that. I’m the only guy who can eat a corny dog and get mustard on his forehead. That, and bathroom stories, are going to be the only two things anybody remembers me for.
Nahhh, I’m also going to remember you for your itchy butt and how you broke your nose. 
i only counted three… which one did i miss?
After reading that last post, I think I should say that Ag was NOT trying to scratch his butt with his nose. I would pay good money for that but those were two separate incidents.
I know about the ichy butt, but I didn’t hear about the broken nose.
Jim
7:21, 9:08, 10:03, 10:16, and now 10:27.
Thanks for that clarification grace. 
Now I’m the ‘Hey look! It’s the guy who eats corny dogs and gets mustard on his forehead while scratching his butt with his nose in the restroom. Wow! Can I have your autograph?’ guy.
Ag, i thought you were going to bed!
I am, actually, going to go to bed here eventually. My dryer buzzer went off and I went to check the laundry. I was feeling around for the light switch in there and gave myself a little shock. My light switch doesn’t have a cover on it. I was thinking about starting a ‘Stupid Things You Try to do in the Dark’ thread, but decided against it.
The thing that cracks me up is the scratching you butt with your nose post was my 666th. I’m just happy I could use that post for the dark side.