Diagnose me

48 yrs old
Hot flashes
Night sweats
Pretty Serious Depression
No period since June
Previous periods of no periods over last two years
Home menopause test is negative

What’s wrong with me?

How reliable is that at-home test?

Your home menopause testing kit is defective :smiley: (sorry to be flippant…that sounds like both a pain in the neck and menopause)

The test is 99% as effective as a visit to the doctor.

They give you two sticks to pee on. The first one was bad, the second one was negative. The tests are supposed to be taken a couple weeks apart.

This really fucking blows. It sure as hell SOUNDS like menopause. I’m an inch away from tears.

The problem is, evidently the test OR a visit to the doctor isn’t real certain. According to WebMD:

And I’d bet if you took that list of symptoms to TheDoc he’d diagnose you as at least pre-menopausal (which can be essentially the same thing as menopausal, except earlier. Or something.)

I’m not there yet, so I’m talking off the top of my head, but I’d really say “hie thee to thedoc and talk to him / her about HRT or alternatives.”
Just MO, of course, YMMV and all that.

[Dr. Nick] Holy smoke, you need booze! [/Dr. Nick]
Seriously, Kalhoun, sounds brutal. Hang in there! :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile:

If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck then your at home test is screwed up.

Are you my wife? Same everything you gots. Since momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.

To relieve the symptoms, I have found that if I drink sufficient quantities of scotch, they don’t bother me at all. :wink:

Heh. My son told me I should work on bottling up my emotions. It made me cry instead of laugh. Now THAT’S depressed!

I’m too depressed to drink.

That’s REALLY depressed.

I better make an appointment with the doctor. I can get my prozac re-prescribed, too.

Actually, my wife won’t drink in this state either, but it sure helps when I do.

I’ll bet! My husband just goes out to the garage. (I’ll bet he has a bottle stashed out there! :wink: )

Sounds like you are *perimenopausal, * Kalhoun. During that period your hormone levels are fluctuating and can even be high, esp. if you have missed cycles but are not yet menopausal. (1 year sans cycles). That’s probably why your test is negative. Go to your doc and discuss your options, ie whether or not you want to start HRT (or even should, for that matter.) There is a good site that describes all the phases, etc <www.project-aware.org>…I have it bookmarked for fast reference…but beware…

it lists **35 ** :eek: symptoms you can possibly have. I have a great recipe for margaritas if you are interested.


Welcome to the dark side, Kalhoun.

::flies out of thread on broom::

Smartini (heh…I would have figured you to have MARTINI recipes!!) the home test I took said that there’s a hormone or other such secretion called FHS (?) that is in production all the time. But when estrogen kicks in to allow ovulation, the FHS (or whatever) drops down. Because I’m no longer producing the estrogen at the same levels, the FHS stays high, which is what the test is supposed to indicate. The test shows a reading for “negative”, “peri’” and “menopause”. I figured I was “peri” because, as you said, I’m not 12 months sans. I suppose I could have attributed all the other symptoms to other things in my life, but the cessation of periods was the dead giveaway to me. Or so I thought. Sigh…maybe I’m just losing my mind. I can barely type about it without bursting into tears.

OK, I know it’s really unlikely due to your age, but could you be pregnant? Remember: as your FSH is high and your estrogen is bouncing back and forth, you could still ovulate and even get pregnant at any time. Yeah, I know hot flashes and depression are probably mood-killers, but it’s worth mentioning. I had two perimenopausal pregnancies in my office last year. Neither had had a period in over seven months.

Perimenopausal sounds right to me. The reason one of your tests showed high FSH and the other didn’t (if I read you correctly) could be because your hormone levels are still fluctuatung. Once they settle down (12 months or less) you’ll actually feel much better. Right now, it’s the up and down that’s causing many of your symptoms.

If it’s not related to menopause (which it really sounds like, despite the test), hyperthyroidism (i.e. thyroid over-producing thyroid hormone) has pretty much the same symptoms. I’d heartily recommend a visit to a doctor, because hormones all over the place just ain’t no fun for whatever reason.

I had my tubes tied 15 years ago, so it’s highly unlikely that I’m pregnant (are you fucking kidding me??? :eek: )

WhyNot said:

Actually, the first test was “bad”, i.e., it didn’t do anything it was supposed to do. It was a dud. The second one was negative, i.e., it didn’t register high levels of FSH. Here’s the info from the site:


I think my first one was a dud because (snicker!) I think I may have whizzed on the view window. Note to self: Use the cup method instead of the stream method.

The result I got on the second one was a very clear “No. 1”.

By the way…I’m taking Black Cohosh, which is supposed to help with the night sweats and hot flashes. I’ve only been taking it for three days, so I don’t know what sort of improvement I’m supposed to see in that short period. I also don’t know if it’s even worth a crap. I’m not much for herbal remedies, but I’m giving it a try.