Did Diogenes really write 'I pissed on the man who called me a dog. Why was he so surprised?'

The question is in the title.

If he did write it, in what work is it written? That is, I know none of his writings survive, but what is the source where the quote is attributed to him?

I don’t know if that’s the exact quote.

Here’s a start…

It’s been my understanding that Diogenes didn’t write anything (and I think maybe it was a tenet of his entire school of philosophy that none of them should ever write anything). Everything that he ever allegedly said was written by others who claimed he had said all those things.

So, the Yogi Berra of his time?

My guess would be that you could find it (if it is indeed attributed to him) somewhere in Diogenes Laertius (this is someone else), Lives of the great philosophers. The text can be found here in translation: The Lives and Opinions of Eminent Philosophers by Diogenes Laertius - Free Ebook

Either that or the Samuel Goldwyn of his time, who also (supposedly) said lots of oddball things. But apparently, according to this Wiki, he didn’t exactly say “A verbal contract is worth the paper it’s written on”.