Did I really hear that??

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I’ve become accustomed to hearing inane pronouncements on the radio, but this morning, the comment was almost beyond belief - at least to me. A law enforcement spokesman - I don’t remember who or where - was talking about the pursuit of a suspect. He concluded the tale with “…and we effectuated the arrest…”

EFFECTUATED?!?!? Is there a reason he couldn’t have said: “We arrested the guy” rather than spewing this polysyllabic tripe? SHEESH!!

And while I’ve got my panties in a wad, when did weather evolve into events? We have “rain events” and “snow events” - when did it stop just “raining” and “snowing”? Is this pretension? Self-aggrandizement? Rampant stupidity?

Hmmmm, perhaps I’ll try an experiment… “Hey, baby, wanna effectuate a sexual event?” Yeah, that’d have ME all tingly and nekkid in no time.

2

LOL. Maybe I’ll try something like that, “Honey, hows about we effectuate a carressing of the lips?” I’ll be nibbling on their earlobes before they know what the hell I’m talking about. :smiley:

I don’t know about the weather events. Probably to sound more official. Anyone can say, “It’s raining,” but only a meteorologist can report on how we’re about to be hit by “snow events.”

3

Well, back when I took a meteorology class - 1978, I believe - the “event” phenomenon had not taken hold. Personally, I blame the Weather Channel…

4

Earlier today, FairyChatMom effected a hissy-fit in an MPSIMS event.

Film at 11.

5

Nope, those damned word a day calendars…

6

Pure verbal diarrhoea, and pretentious wank. Nothing more, nothing less.

Unfortunately, the perpetrators are never subjected to their own mangling of the language. Oh, to be able to play back at them, so that they realise how stupid they sound…

7

(To be spoken with a thick southern accent, whilst chewing tobaccy) - “The perpetrator was observed progressing at a high rate of velocity at which time I forcible effecutated a rolling blockade of the vee-hickle. At this point in time I issued the perpetrator a verbal warning and citated him with a written summons.”

Translation - “Asshole was speeding. I gave him a ticket.”

That’s why I love to watch “Cops”, mostly because I love the word “Vee-Hickle”.

8

Ok, but first you would need to purchase my nutritional intake event.

9

I’ll effectuate you like a hurricane event.

10

Weather ‘events’…hmmmmm. Well, look at it this way, nothing…NOTHING could be worse than that patronizing weatherman voice dripping with, “Looks like old Mother Nature is calling for some of that white stuff.”

Gad. White stuff. Fluffy stuff. Whatever. Somebody needs to tell the weather folks that we just want to know
a) if it will rain
b) if our weekend will suck
c) if we need to leave early for work
d) if we need to wear a coat/carry an umbrella/open the windows/turn up the A/C or heat/send jackets with the kids
e) if we need to water the lawn
f) if we need to hide under a table in an interior room

As for using stupid terminology, I got a good one once. Someone asked me to be the telecommunications sentinel over lunch. Ugh. Yeah. I’ll answer the phone. Jeez.

11

You mean that ain’t how it’s pronounced?

12

I’ll effectuate some of that white stuff like a hurricane event.

13

…so if the Big Top collapsed, it’d be a Bent Tent Event?
or if I blew my paycheck at a casino, it’d be a Spent Rent Event?
and a fender bender is actually a Dent Event?

Stop me before I event again!!!

14

I once read a newspaper article that mentioned a local philanthropist had “gifted the city with a tract of land.”

How much do you want to bet that he was merely attempting to effectuate a taxation avoidance event?

15

If you’d simplistically get your ownself orientated properly, this wouldn’t be so confusicating to you.

BTW, does InternetLegend’s post remind anyone else of the Monte Python skit where the owner of Swamp Castle is extolling his future daughter-in-law’s “'uge tracts of land”?

16

Isn’t that preceeded by a “she’s got these…'uge tracts of land” with hands held at a suggestive location?

17

Was I the only one who heard Rather’s comment in the Democratic Convention coverage?

“The late, slain, assassinated President Kennedy…”
Gosh, Dan, was that enough? I’m sure there were some more synonyms you could’ve tossed in. :rolleyes:

18

I hear it’s so dry in Texas at the moment that if it did rain it really would be an event. They would probably have a week-long party.

19

xizor, i’m still recovering from “nutritional intake event”. it may take a while i think i broke my favourite rocking chair and may have done some damage to me as well in the “fell out of the chair” event.

i’m glad to know i’m not alone in thinking that weather forcasters have gotten a bit out of hand with weather reporting lately. i fear we will soon be hearing of the hurricane of the millenium event. thank heavens it wasn’t debbie. what kinda name is debbie for a hurricane? there is no respect there. what’s next? hurricane buffy?

today’s weather event report: hurricane buffy buffets margaritaville, film and album at 11.

20

Jeez, this reminds me of my favorite “Just Shoot Me” episode, where they replaced Nina’s word a day calendar with one that had made-up words. Too hilarious. “You’re obviously a very persifunctant person…”