I had finished some shopping this afternoon and was puttering with some CDs in the car, when a women approached the car. She was white, slightly heavyset around late 30’s to early to mid 40’s, looked sort of poor and frazzled, and seemed like she was worried about something. She said “Sir, I need to get to Pittsville (a town about 15 miles away) are you going there?” When I said no, she asked me if I would give her a ride to the hospital which is a 5 minute walk away from the parking lot. I didn’t ask but guessed there was a possible a transit bus going there. (public transportation on the Eastern Shore of MD is very limited)
It seemed to be an odd request , but she seemed somewhat desperate so I agreed to give her a lift. When she got in the car she asked me if I could give her a life all the way to Pittsvile and I said no, as I was wary of being played . She then began talking about the difficult of getting back and forth to her job at Applebees, and then she asked if I could loan her cab fare to Pittsville and I said no again.
We were near the hospital at this point and I let her out. I was halfway convinced it was some sort of scam, but she did request a ride to Pittsville so maybe she did need to get there. On the flip side the parking lot she approached me in is the # 1 hangout for panhandlers in the area, and she didn’t appear to be mobility impaired, so why ask a large, and somewhat intimidating looking stranger for a ride that saved her maybe 5 minutes of walking? What if I was a nut or a rapist? She was putting herself into my hands.
I think she was con artist, but I’m just not sure. What if I had offered to drive her to Pittsvile. What then?
You were being played, but I don’t think that I’d call her a “con artist,” exactly – more of a pan-handler with a strategy.
On the way, she would’ve asked for money to help get her car fixed, or to buy milk for her kids. Or maybe she really was a con artist and had some elaborate scam waiting for you, but I doubt it.
I don’t generally talk to ppl in parking lots. . .they almost never have anything to say that I want or need to hear.
If they can’t get, “Your brake light’s out.”, “Your coat/seatbelt is hanging out.”, “Did you just drop this?”, or “I need my battery jumped.” in the first sentence or two, they’ll be talking to themselves.
It’s one of those things I’ve learned that makes life easier. Good things seldom come from listening to a sob story in a parking lot.
Dude, you let her get in your car? I think not only were you being played, but that was kind of a foolish move. I mean, I have no idea what state Pittsville is in… maybe I think differently because I’m in NYC, but there’s no way in hell that woman would be getting in my car (uh, you know, if I had one and stuff).
I don’t buy “she was putting herself in my hands” because you were busy driving and she might have had a weapon. Just sayin’.
Yeah, I know in hindsight (esp to me) it’s seems awfully foolish, but when you’re sitting there with this desperate woman asking for help… I…I don’t know. I can politely say “No” to male panhandlers all day long, but helpless women are a bit more difficult to ignore.
Guy, that was a complete mistake on your part. Murder, physical assault, robbery, pandering are among the things you opened yourself up to by letting her in your car. There are plenty of resources available to people in need in the US, which she pointedly was not availing herself to for a reason, i.e. all of the above posts. :smack:
Here’s the distinction; people who are in need of help are either:
[list=a]
[li]Panicked and desperate (“My child just got run over by a semi-truck…call an ambulance!”),[/li][li]Apologetic and deferential (“Sorry to ask, but my car broke down…could you just drop me off at the nearest gas station…”),[/li][li]Named Opal.[/li][/list]
Some stranger begging a favor off of you, espeically one that involves driving them around, cashing a check for them, et cetera are, in all likelyhood, looking for an “in” to snag you. And to reinforce the point made by others, not only could she have been a risk to you, but she also could have claimed that you assaulted her in your car or somesuch, in order to extort money.
I know that there are a lot of people out there who don’t have the means to own a car or afford transportation and who depend on the kindness of strangers…but there are many who are looking to scam, or worse, too. You don’t owe this person anything. It’s a shitty, self-serving attitude, I know, but I’ve had too many people try to scam me (and successfully scammed the ex-wife for cash) to be optimistic about human nature. YMMV.
Please check your car thoroughly. Under the seat, if you have little storage areas in the passenger door, etc. She may have dropped something. Maybe just a lighter… maybe a crack pipe. I used to work with a guy who frequented…well… let’s say… he liked the ladies of the night. He’d always tell horror stories of finding stuff in his car afterwards. Some of it he thought was left on purpose, like the ladies had a feeling the cops might be out busting them and they’d rather leave their paraphenlia in some john’s car than get sent to prison.
He used to complain about it… and I’d just look at him and think “You spent 5o bucks on a bj.”
Slight hijack: We were approached yesterday by a woman with a daughter, claiming to be New Orleans refugees and needing money for food, etc. I told her to go to the Red Cross. Her accent was distinctly NOT from the South.
Chefguy, odds are very good she was scamming you, but people from New Orleans don’t sound typically Southern anyway. Kind of a combination of general Southern and New York. I’d never heard anything like it. FYI.
I bet there are lots of people who are using that story to get money out of people. Bastards.
I work at a large urban library that is four blocks from a big homeless shelter. I live two blocks from another major homeless shelter. I usually get pan-handled for money or favors a couple of times a day; at the reference desk, in the parking lot, and sometimes by people knocking on my front door. As a result, my compassion level is pretty close to zero. I say a firm, immediate “No” as a matter of course. But, like you, I sometimes wonder if I’ve turned down a deserving person who I might have helped if I wasn’t so overloaded.
A program was started by some of the area shelters/churches in my city. It involved buying a little card with a blue key attached to it. The key was “bought” by a $2.00 donation. The key was traded at any of these places for a meal, shower and bed for the night.
I loved the idea, but it needed to be advertised more, it was only out by word of mouth and select stores/shops.
It was a nice alternative to giving money, and couldn’t be used for drugs or booze.
There’s enough scamming going on by people whose motive you know to worry about those that you don’t. At least in my humble opinion. So I err on the side of the conscience I have to deal with due to the ‘what if’ scenario. I know if I was there it would be like an Og send, so I try to respond with that in mind.
However, I am unbelievably naive and gullible. I just consider those some of my better traits. Plus, I’m way far no saint either. Gotta make up for it somewhere.
I think a person without the key could still get it, but it was a way of giving something - also donating to a worthy cause - as opposed to just saying that you don’t have any change.
I’m pretty sure you were being played, though I suppose there could be a legitimate reason for her needing a ride like that.
About 10 years ago, I did something equally naive & stupid. Driving between College Station and Galveston, TX, late at night, I was approached by a guy looking for a ride across town. Town in this case was a tiny little Texas town in the middle of nowhere. He didn’t ask for money or booze or anything, just a ride. I gave him a ride several miles down the road, he got out and thanked me, and that was that. When I told my girlfriend about it later, she pointed out that he could have easily had a gun and robbed me, etc, but like I said, I was naive at the time. Also, the guy didn’t have any legs and was shuffling around on a 4-wheeled box-moving thing, just like Eddie Murphy early on in Trading Places (only he really was missing his legs.)
As far as the panhandling goes, we get all kinds here in Los Angeles. The strangest situation I’ve seen was when a large woman in an older looking car pulled up next to my friend & I when we were waiting in line at a drive-through. She motioned for a window rolldown, then asked if we could buy her some food for her family, which consisted of a few random adults in her backseat. I thought maybe she needed directions or something at first so I was a bit surprised to be hit up by a panhandler in a car.
I say you were the target of a scam. My sister, her SO, and I were at a street festival in Pittsburgh, when we were approached by a woman with a story very similar regarding needing a ride to the hospital, ill mother-in-law, at first my sister and I were sympathetic, (the best brother-in-law I never had TM likes to pretend he is never sympathetic to strangers), but the more the woman talked, the more convinced I was she was scamming us, and and not-quite brother-in-law & I were able to convince my sister that this was not smart. I think its a ploy that is going around. They start out needing a ride, but then, that’s too much trouble, could you just give me money!
