Did someone go through my clothes?

[Omar_Little]

BottleBlondJeanie had a similar problem earlier this year. Panty Thief? - In My Humble Opinion - Straight Dope Message Board

@BottledBlondJeanie

OK, this is a relatively serious thread. Jokes are fine, but I really want to know if I should be worried.

My SO and I have 2 houses for convenience and property tax’s sake. It’s probably the main reason we haven’t married. I share custody of my kiddos (SO’s not the dad). SO is a petroleum engineer and on projects a lot so I stay at my house when I don’t have the kids. My house is relatively small, but near downtown where I work.

I am a girl, I like pretty underwear/panties whatever your preferred term is. About every 6 months or so, I buy about 20 pair from Victoria’s Secret and stash about half of them at my house.

The problem–I now can only find 4 pair when there should be about 30? I am aware of the issue with socks and the dryer, but this is ridiculous.

My neighborhood is very peaceful. We have block parties, a block captain and his wife that watch over my house like crazy. There is only one slightly weird guy on the block and he’s just odd and lonely. It’s a neighborhood where you could leave your doors unlocked if you wanted to, but I choose not to unless I forget. I’ve been known to leave windows open while out. However, if at SO’s, I lock everything at my house and set the alarm. I don’t use the alarm when I stay there. I have two large dogs and several guns that I know how to use and will if necessary. The neighbors all know this and my knickname is “Annie Oakley.”

So, where the hell are my panties? I searched the backyard to see if the dogs lined their dogloos with them. I looked in the dryer vent and behind the dryer. I spoke to my once-every-two-weeks cleaning lady and there is no sign.

I am actually seriously concerned. Is someone stealing them? We’re talking about over 20 pairs in a small house.

Obvious answers are set the alarm all the time, make sure your windows are closed etc., but that’s why I keep this house. It’s like living in semi-rural 1980’s in the middle of a big city. We have free range children and deliver bake goods to anyone new to the area.

Any ideas about where the hell they could be? Anyone want to tell me my fears are justified or not? I need honest opionions. BTW, I asked SO if he did anything with the underwear and he said “no.” I played it off as a joke so he doesn’t fret…yet.

@BottledBlondJeanie

When I stay at my house, the kids aren’t there. SO’s house is the family house when we have the kiddos. And, for that matter, SO and I choose to stay at his house when we’re together with or without children and the panties there seem to remain at a slightly normal constant.

I don’t want to call the police if I can help it. I don’t necessarily feel scared and would certainly opt for a rational explanation. BTW, my lab was prone to stealing baby daddy’s socks. We had no idea until we cleaned out her dog house and found like 10 socks. That’s why the backyard and dogloos were searched.

@BottledBlondJeanie

I’m in the house this week. needscoffee, I’m bringing home new pairs tomorrow in the pink striped bag. They’ll be put in my drawer, Then I am counting. I’m out of here on Friday, and no one is scheduled to be in the house for the next week.

I’ll drop by late next week and recount. If there are any missing I am freaking out, and setting up the webcam.

I trust the cleaning lady like my mom. She’s helped me for over 5 years and would have the opportunity to take better stuff than panties. My SO really doesn’t come to my house. I can’t even recall if he knows the new alarm code. He has ample panty pilfering available to him at his/our house, but those numbers stay relatively similar.

And I just rechecked the dryer vent with my brush of doom and a flashlight–one sock, no panties.

She never provided an update.