My husband and I have been together for about 22 years, married for almost 4 (didn’t want to rush into anything ya know). We work different shifts, so I’m leaving for work about the time he’s getting home, but we always have “date night” (Friday night) dinner together, and spend weekends together. I tell you this for background.
Since our wedding (in Vegas, of course, with the required Elvis impersonator), we’ve not spent much time apart - a week when I was in Fl w/my dying father, a few days here and there when I was out of town for business, but not often.
These past two days were part of the ‘not often’. Left on Tuesday, just getting back today. Called him at work to let him know I was back in town, chatting about stuff. Did you buy paper towels? " Nope, we still need those if you head to the store." etc.
But then he starts in. “You know that vegtable peeler?” The one you leave on the cutting board?
“Yea” he continues, the stainless steel Ecko one, the one that pivots when you use it, the perfect one, the one that’s falling apart. You can’t get those anymore. I’ve looked and looked (well, at the one place I shop anyhow) and they don’t have them anymore. They have the other kind, with the ball at the end that won’t pivot. They have the ones that look cute but you can’t use like a knife and cut away. I want one just like the one I have."
I get it, dear, I reply, you want one just like the one you have (I know how to use reflective listening skills)
“Yea, I don’t one that those namby pamby (yes, he used that term) people who don’t want you to cut yourself by using kitchen tools who think that if it’s unsafe for a toddler to use it, no one should have one” and he goes on in this same vein for a while, with me interspacing soothing 'yes dear, I understand dear’s at the required intervals.
He then proceeds to discuss his stamp problem. Stamp problem? Well, he needed to buy a stamp at 3 am, went to the post office to do so. He doesn’t expect that there’ll be staff there, then, but there’s stamp machines. Only, apparently, they’ve changed. Complains he “No longer is there the stamp machine where you stick in your quarter, nickle and dime and get your one stamp. NO, the one that’s there now is one that only accepts credit cards. But in order to use the credit card, it goes through a long menu of “do you want another transaction?” “are you sure?” every other step of the way, and then at the end of it, tells you that it cannot process a credit card payment of only $0.39”
(apparently the option of buying a few more stamps than you actually need right this minute doesn’t apply) He goes on to further complain that "it also will tell you, helpfully, that you can purchase stamps online, or that you can order them and they’ll mail them to you which doesn’t help at all since you’re already at the post office.
Apparently, I married Andy Rooney. Wish I"d known that, earlier.
