Did you ask your wife's dad for his daughter's hand?

In My Humble Opinion
41

I didn’t ask permission. I asked for their opinion on it. I was going to do it if they liked it or not.

I asked her mom. Her dad passed away years ago. I think the actual question was “Would you mind if I asked you daughter to marry me?”

I also asked my mom what she would think about me marrying. Neither were the first to know about me wanted to ask. I had a friend of mine helping pick out a ring. When I asked my mom what she thought about it she offered to let me use her engagement ring, that was my grandmothers ring before that.

Her mom almost blew it. When her, and my soon to be wife were together at some point her mom asked what she would say if I asked to marry her. Luckly she wasn’t paying much attention to her mom, and it didn’t click with her.

-Otanx

42

My wife (justifiably) doesn’t have much respect for either her father, step-father, or mother. I figured if their opinion didn’t matter to her, why should I bother. We informed them that we were getting married, but as we paid for everything ourselves and were already living together, their opinions of our marriage was irrelevent.

Peace - DESK

43

I popped the question to my sweetie on her birthday, and she immediately and tearfully said “Yes.” Boy, was I happy! We immediately called her parents, both of whom got on the line. I fully intended to ask for their blessing, not their permission (which IMHO would’ve implied that they had a veto over the intended nuptials). But when we told them our great news, my future FIL immediately said, “We’re very happy for you both, and of course you have our blessing,” to which my future MIL burbled her agreement. I think all of our eyes were a bit moist by the time we hung up.

My true love and I have now been married 15 years and counting…

44

How does one ask for a duaghters hand these days?

" BTW, Mr. so-n-so, I’m fucking your daughter. Do you mind if I marry her?"

45

I asked her mom, since my wife’s dad wasn’t really part of her life anymore.

46

When my time comes, I plan to ask my sweetie’s dad for his blessing. I think that’s a good way of putting it. You’re not exactly asking his permission, but you are declaring in no uncertain terms that his approval counts for something.

47

I already posted on the other thread, but what the hey. I don’t think it occurred to either of us to ask my dad about us getting married; we just called up and told him. (I know it never occurred to me!) I also think he would have laughed if DangerDad had asked him–I don’t think he felt slighted in any way. I was about 16 when my dad told me that he figured I was pretty much an adult–not in a bad get-out-of-my-house way, but he thought I could take care of myself on the whole. I was 21 when I got engaged.

My dad was thrilled when we got engaged; he really liked my husband and was secretly on tenterhooks, hoping I would marry this guy. They are practically best friends these days.

And, we just had our 10th anniversary the other day.

48

After we had been dating and had talks of getting married, I told my husband I felt it was only fair he meet my mother first, before he actually committed to me. I hadn’t talked much about my mother or growing up, and I felt he should be aware that she wasn’t quite normal, and she and I didn’t have a normal relationship. And perhaps because of this, I didn’t think I would make a very good mother.

He thought I was just being dramatic, everyone thinks their mother is a little odd. So I said let’s go out to California so you can meet her judge her for yourself.

When they first met, all was normal. Then later he told her he loved me, and wanted to marry me, and would have asked my father for his blessing, but since my dad had passed away, he was now asking for her blessing.

My mother just starting laughing. Not an embarrassed, or excited giggle, but a strange over the top kind of laugh. My husband looked at me, but I didn’t have much of a reaction because I was used to her strange responses. After a bit she stopped laughing, and asked where we wanted to go to dinner.

He was confused, he asked her if her not giving an answer meant she did not approve of his marrying me. She said, “Oh, were you serious?” He said yes. She said, “Oh, I thought you were joking. You seriously want to marry her?” The way she said it made it clear she thought he was crazy. I started to think she was going to try to talk him out of it. But then she simply said, “If that is what you want to do, why would I care?”

My poor husband wasn’t quite prepared for that, but he took it as her blessing and thanked her.

It actually went better than I thought it would.

49

Yes, I asked, even though it had been obvious for some time that a wedding was in the cards.

I was 42, she was a 38 yr. old widow, a professional woman with three teenage children. I asked her dad anyway. Why not?

50

Yes. I did it because it’s respectful.

All I did was look him straight in the eye and say “Mr. B------, I’m asking for your daughter’s hand in marriage.”

Come to think about it… that wasn’t really much of a question, was it? :wink:

51

I decided to ask my fiancée to marry me exactly one day before leaving town on a trip with her and her family (minus her dad. long story, but divorce ensued for her parents). Before everyone goes crazy about a snap proposal, I was going to ask her to marry me anyways about two months later, but we were going to Hawaii, and a good friend of both of us reminded me that my fiancée always dreamed of getting engaged on a beach.

So, as the story goes, I didn’t have a chance to get over to her dad’s house for face to face notification, and he was out of town anyways, so I called. I didn’t so much ask for permission; I more so notified him that I was going to be asking his daughter to marry me. He was excited all the same.

The proposal went great, and we’re getting married on June 10th!

52

My ex-boyfriend made all kinds of fuss to my Dad about why he’d given his permission to my husband to marry me. :wally Dad apparently responded along the lines of “I wasn’t asked, and what on earth do you think I could or would have done to stop 'em getting married if I was asked anyway? You know Idlewild does what she damn well pleases and always has.”

I think Dad was mostly happy I ended up with my husband, not the doofus ex.

53

No, but you need to hear the whole story (well, you don’t *need * to, but I like telling it).

My husband and I had been living together for about 6 months when I went to do an elective in India and Australia for 3 months, leaving him alone at home.
While I was away, he spent a lot of time thinking about our relationship and I suppose missing me helped to make up his mind.

Anyway, he decided to propose to me at the airport on my return. He kept his intentions completely secret from everyone, including me, which is very out of character for him, but he arranged that my parents and sister would come down to spend the day in Dublin on the day after I arrived. They thought he was being thoughtful arranging a nice day for us all to meet up after 3 months apart, he was actually being much more sneaky.

So anyway, I arrived at the airport, and I had a feeling something was up (I didn’t know he was going to propose, I was just having some nice “wow wouldn’t it be romantic if he proposed” daydreams). He took me outside and told me he had three gifts for me, the first was the key to our flat, which I had left behind, the second was a bar of chocolate, then he got down on one knee and said “the third is a little different, will you marry me?”. At which point, of course, I burst into tears and said yes!

We had a magical day together, lying in bed, drinking champagne, cuddling, catching up, the two of us just having a wonderful secret of our own.

The next day, when my parents arrived he basically said “irishgirl has done me the honour of agreeing to be my wife, and we’d like to have your blessing”. At which point my mother started crying and my dad starting phoning restaurants to make a reservation for a celebratory lunch!

Then we phoned his mother (who was shopping in Tesco at the time) and she broke down and cried with joy among the lettuces.

We were married a year and a week later, and I wouldn’t change anything about the way we did it. Apart from our wedding and honeymoon, that day when just the two of us knew that we were getting married was one of the happiest days of my life.

54

Has anyone asked for permission and been denied?

55

I’m relieved that no one has said “yes” to that question… but I’m sure it’d be a hell of a story!