In many regions around the world (UK, US, Australia, Ireland, Phillipines), aristocratic/high society women are introduced into society when they reach an age of maturity. This may signal that they were of marriable age or simply that they have reached the age of majority in the country they live in. For some families, it seems like a way to make sure your daughter meets the sort of people you want her to marry; those of the same social standing or better than your family.
DoperGals, did any of you have this ceremony, or something similar? What did it mean to you?
Personally, I never understood this. Don’t you introduce your children to your friends as per normal? Or are these people leaving their children home with the nannies until some special birthday whereat the daughter comes out of “hiding” and can greet the other members of society without the sticky-fingers and indelicacy of youth?
Nope. Several of my friends did – all at the same Ball. Those of us who were not rich enough, too Jewish, whose mothers had told the Junior League to shove it, or whose aunts were known to have followed Three Dog Night on the road - -we helped the other gals into their had-to-be-hung-from-the-banister-into-the-great-room-on-account-of-the train dresses and went off to tie everybody’s brothers’ ties (since each debutante needed two escorts besides her father, just about every male we knew had been pressed into service as a tuxedo filler). After they were on their way to the Ball, we ate pie and watched Dirty Dancing in our pajamas.
Oh, some of these girls had mighty sticky fingers, already.
Yeah, I had to go to all those dumb parties but was not invited to debut myself, as my family’s money still has the stink of “earned” on it. Most of my high school friends had to do it, though - mostly to make their mothers happy. The thing is, these families would totally bankrupt themselves for this - most of them were more name than money. Which, I’m not saying that if I were invited to the St. Cecilia Ball I wouldn’t go. But I wouldn’t be invited.
ETA - there are evidently families in Charleston that hold off on the divorce for years because a divorced man cannot be a member of the St. Cecilia Society, thus depriving his daughter of the opportunity.
I didn’t, but I was the partner for several debutantes at their balls.
I heard nothing of the St. Cecilia’s Ball in my year and a half of living in Charleston, but then I don’t move in any ‘circles’, as it were. And my family has neither name nor money, so I wouldn’t be invited either. I would like my daughters to someday go to Ashley Hall, though.
Any pics of you in a ruffled tux? Can you share them? 
Man alive, I thought we threw out discrimination like that with the war . . . of 1776! I understand they do happen, but I can’t believe they still happen in our educated, more-open society. . . wow. :eek:
Tripler
My family’s money is gonna stink too: of blood, sweat, tears, and smiles.
I was going to post that I had heard of such things, but had thought they died out last century. Not the 20th . . . the 19th!
But Tripler has me beat by five minutes and 25 years
Yes, there would be a few photos somewhere. Goodness only knows where. But not any with ruffles. I abhor ruffles. For one of the balls I recall it was full formal dress: white tie and tails. Luckily I was exactly the same size as my late grandfather so I could wear his, complete with white silk scarf and gloves.
The young women whom I partnered were very highly educated. But they also liked the traditional concept of the formal début ball.
I didn’t do my deb (I lack a girly gene; it didn’t appeal to me), but it was and AFAIK still is extremely common for the girls at my former high school to do their debut. We are not exactly toffee-nosed society types either… to put it mildly, my school was rough as guts. From what I’ve observed, the local debutaunte ball seems to be similar to the American prom rather than a launch into high society. Regional variations may apply.
Yes, I came out many years ago.
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What?
i did the deb thing also. Hated it but I loved learning ballroom dancing=) The waltz is still my favorite dance.
Did it mean alot to your family for you to do it? What did your dress look like? /girly question off
That’s my understanding too. My sister attended something that the high school called a deb ball, but which seemed a lot more like a high school formal (prom) to me. It was different to a regular high school formal in that the girls had to wear white, had to practice some sort of formal dance, and were “introduced” in a pageant kind of way. “Please welcome Daisy, who enjoys knitting, sports and volunteering at nursing homes.”
But it doesn’t really sound like the old money debut that Zsofia describes. As far as I know the only requirement was that you (or your partner) attended the school, and you could afford the ticket/classes/dress.
They still have ‘debutante’ stuff here in Jackson, and IIRC, over in Natchez, they begin training children for it in elementary school - there’s some kind of society club which entails teaching your children the etiquette of formal ball dances. My friend Nicole had her little girl enrolled in it (out of peer pressure) when she lived there.
I don’t think any of my kids’ close friends ever did it (my kids certainly did not) but a daughter of a former co-worker did. He had the photos in his office, and gushed over them whenever he had a chance.
The thing about Old Columbia is, you can live your whole life here and never know it even exists, or you can live your life here and never leave it. There are three exclusive social clubs (Palmetto Club being most “old money”, and the Summit Club and the Capitol City Club), the old fashioned kind of place where one can dine and must always wear a coat and tie, there’s the “right” church (Trinity Cathedral, although there are others that are acceptable), generally one’s children go to Dreher for public school or there are two private schools you might consider, etc. But if you moved here tomorrow, this would all be completely opaque to you and you would never, ever know a thing. I’d say that particular brand of old money doesn’t even really drive politics - there’s certainly a good old boy network, but it’s not really the same thing, although it does overlap.
Cotillion. White gloves for the girls through sixth grade.
You got that right. We lost all our money in the War of Northern Aggression, so the South (note the capitalization) has a different method of determining high society. Since no one had money, breeding and civility had to substitute for money. For instance, a few years ago (fifteen or so), Bill Gates wanted to join the Augusta National golf club. He was the world’s richest man, yet he couldn’t get in for a long time. Paragraph 8 notes this, but doesn’t tell the real reason why he wasn’t allowed in. Mr. Gates was, ahem, how to say this, impolite. He may have all the money in the world, but he didn’t have manners, so he wasn’t invited. If you’re the right kind of “outsider,” you’ll find out about the Palmetto Club, St. Ceceila’s, etc.
Nope, I didn’t come out. I have a Y chromosome. But the girls who came out in high school were extremely excited about it and their parents were bursting with pride. It doesn’t mean anything in the day to day lives, but is a line that looks good in their wedding announcements in the Post and Courier.