Not a compliment but I just remembered it and it sounds hilarious if you swollow down the anger:
Grampa (he doesnt know better, eh?)
“Make small steps Stefanie. Walking like this you will never find a man” (advice to 12 year old)
Grampa is the king of compliments…
when I was 4 and had a screaming fit (damn was I an angry child) he advised mom to give me away cause he thought I was the devil :rolleyes:
Beware SDMB… Devil speaking. Let s have a hot time! 
dodgy devil
My Nan equates looking good with losing weight. Therefore, if she sees me or my mum looking good, the first thing she says isn’t “You look really nice in those trousers,” but “You’ve lost weight.” She says this in an accusing tone, as if how dare we lose weight behind her back.
I reply, “Actually, Nan, I’ve put on a stone. But yes, I do look good in these trousers”
Sigh…Java, you’ve brought back one of the memories for which I kick myself late at night. When I was in high school, I knew this guy who was rather overweight, but potentially very handsome. Well, (I was 16, folks) I told him this in what I meant to be a diplomatic manner. I said something like, “You’re so good-looking…if you got the weight off, you’d have girls lining up for you!” Well, I was just trying to be nice; after all, I was the one who got called ugly all the time, though I was not. He probably was as starved for a compliment as I, but I didn’t phrase it right. It did sound like mockery, I admit that, though I swear on anything I wasn’t mocking him.
I really wanted to cheer him up, though. I could see the cycle he was in: eating and keeping to himself because he’d developed the habit of eating and keeping to himself…which perpetuated the situation of his being alone and only having food for comfort. I wanted him to see potential in himself, but he just thought I was making fun, and avoided me after that.
If I’d just tried to be his friend first, and tried to encourage him after I’d gained his trust…
“I wish I had the nerve to wear something like that.”
my friend’s mom came up to me the other day and was like, “Hey Lauren! wow - your face looks so pretty today!”
umm…as opposed to every other day when my face looks like the business end of a mutated sea cow. Thanks?
I get that one ALL the time. Well, actually this girl just told me she’d have gone out with me when she first met me, but now she wouldn’t (because she has a boyfriend now…)
Wicked, he needs an eye exam. You’re as pretty as the day.
So is this the reason that the majority of women simply cannot accept a compliment?
It has to be phrased just perfectly, or you will internally turn it around into a slam on yourself?
Maybe “You look great today” doesn’t mean you looked terrible every other day, but instead for some reason the part of my brain that’s in charge of appreciating beauty, intelligence, or whatever aspect of yourself I’m complimenting you on actually coordinatied with my verbal centers and my confidence levels to be able to deliver that compliment today?
Maybe you’re beautiful and wonderful all the time, but it would get kind of old if I told you you looked great every day, wouldn’t it? Especially if you are a friend or co-worker and I’m actually not trying to pick you up?
Now I can certainly see your point on a number of the “compliments” in this thread, but I am hoping that for the most part these posts have been somewhat tongue in cheek and you are realizing that the person who delivered them intended to inform you of their pleasure in knowing you, and not to insult you or make you unhappy.
-Doug
Scene: In the shower at the local Y.
Compliment: “You have a gorgeous body.”
Complimentor: A very fat, very pale man.
Me: Male. Painfully heterosexual.
Not exactly a back-handed compliment, but not one I felt comfortable receiving.
dublos, are you calling me fat?! 
One time, I took my (now ex-)girlfriend, who does have a bit of a black clothing fetish, to a play. I was wearing all black – black shirt, black pants, black tie, black belt, black socks, brown shoes (just kidding. black shoes). The whole night, she kept raving about how I’d “never looked this good before.” Uh, thanks hon. Most of her compliments were left-handed like that. I’d like to reemphasize that she is my **ex-**girlfriend.
You looked like a real bitch when I met you, you’re really pretty nice. (apparently I should walk around with a grin on my face, all of the time)
I would love to have a nose like yours, long and straight, not so big of course (hmm, thanks).
“Don’t worry babe, I’m not a breast man.” (Thanks sugar, by the way, shove it)
I used to get that too, (“I hate you, you’re so skinny”) and I hated it. Now, I don’t get it so often, because I started saying “I just look skinny next to you.”
My favorite “compliment” was “and Boots, you have such, [pause] inner beauty.”
It’s not as much of a “compliment” as some of these, but I hate it when people call me ‘cute’. It’s like I’m a stuffed animal or something, except people sleep with their stuffed animals :rolleyes:.
I’ve had a doozy…
One night a couple of my friends got wasted on Eccies & after a night of taking care of them… Driving them around, making sure that they came out of the pool when they started turning blue, listening to them accuse me of thinking that they were homosexual etc etc etc… I got this.
“You’re kinda like a Cool Aunt”
Ta
I think.
Yep. The “pretty face” thing is such a thinly veiled compliment it makes me want to barf. Do people really think this is NICE? How about just saying, “You’re gorgeous, princess”?
Another fave I got awhile back:
“If I was looking for something purely physical, I’d go out with that pretty girl down the street. But I’d rather be with you because I want something more than physical right now.”
Umm. Right.
Oh! I thought of another one! I recently lost a bunch of weight. So I get a lot of people who think they’re complimenting me by telling me, how gross I looked before.
“Wow, you were HUGE! I can’t believe the difference!”
I mean…they’re right. But they COULD be a bit more tactful, no?
-L
If I had a nickle for every time I heard this… I’d have a whole friggin’ grippa nickles.
Anyone that comes up to my desk for the first time, and sees the picture of my sister there, always makes some sorta remark like this.
A little advice: Saying, “Your sister is hot… I can’t believe you two are even related.”, makes me wanna punch you in the nose. Yes, I know my sister is beautiful… and I know I’m not gonna win third prize in any beauty contest any time soon… I don’t need the reminder.
I also get the “You’re so skinny. I hate you.” compliment too.
I could’ve used that comeback last year! I had this lady at work (short and very stout) looking me up and down and she says to me, “I wish God had given me your body and given you mine because you are sooooo skinny, it just makes me sick!” I was so speechless at the time because it obviously wasn’t meant as a compliment and I couldn’t think of anything to say!
From a guy I’ve known since elementary school but haven’t seen since graduating high school:
“You turned out to be a good lookin’ woman!”
So I guess I was an ugly child/teenager, huh?
Ooh! The one time I recovered from a “compliment” like this was when flodjunior was tiny:
Total Stranger: With eyelashes like that, he should be a girl.
flodnak: Yeah, but with a penis like that, it’s damn good he’s a boy!
The classic one I get is “You’ve put on some weight, but you’re so tall, you carry it well.” In other words: good thing you’re not short, toots, or you’d look like a whale with legs. :rolleyes: