To my douchebag neighbor, yes you Mrs. Pohunk Hillbilly, you with the sweet Shorthair Pointer shackled to your ugly tree in your grub-ridden back yard! Never mind that she barks ALL goddamned day and night, seven days a week, twelve months a year. Never mind that my husband drags his raggedy ass to work at 3:30 A.M. and hears her barking during his entire commute while he hallucinates from exhaustion. Don’t worry about the fact that it’s 100 degrees out and I can see she’s knocked her water ‘bucket’ over from here. I’ll make sure she’s okay while you’re chatting with other dunderhead cowpoke women like yourself at your minimum wage earning job. I could let her die but I won’t because you told me that you hate her, you cold uncaring bitch from hell. “She’s a hunting dog.” You say. Well, your asswipe husband doesn’t take her out so she’s NOT a hunting dog! But…oooh….whaaaa….what is….what the FUCK… IS THAT??? A puppy??? You have a brand new fucking PUPPY? Oh you wretched piece of crap. I want to cover you in big macs and sick four hundred inbred pit bulls upon YOU! How COULD you? She sees you with this puppy that you bring into the house! You bring it out and play in front of her! All your nappy headed children, running, playing, smothering it in attention! She’s strangling herself to escape that chain you pathetic excuse of a human being! She’s HURTING HERSELF! I can’t even LOOK! You tell me that you want a dog that’s less excitable. Well DUH you ignorant slut! You MADE her that way! I’ve called the humane society on you. I’ve called local shelters. There’s nothing they can do. The next time there is a single sign of neglect (and I know she’ll be without water in this heat again), I’m going over to get her and chaining a pink flamingo yard ornament to your tree, you unforgivable wench. I’m sure you’ll be relieved she’s gone despite your monetary investment in her (your only concern). May you be reincarnated as a deformed, drooling miniature poodle with a thyroid condition, tied to a thorny tree and sodomized regularly by an Irish Wolfhound who eats your food daily! You make me sick!
This is one of those situations where I’d gladly look the other way on a dog kidnapping/rescuing.
Definately a candidate for dognapping. Personally, I’d dognap him and bring her to a shelter out of town. (like an hour away or so) I seriously doubt they would bother looking for her, and at least she’d have a chance at having a good home. The owners normally have to pay to get the dog back out of the shelter, so that may deter them from trying to bring her home.
Have you called the cops about the barking? They should certainly be able to do something about that.
That poor doggie, and that poor puppy. The pup will probably be in the same situation shortly.
Zette
This is very sad. I agree that you should rescue the dog. If you are going to go this, though, be very careful. You do NOT want to get caught. The knuckle dragging cuntsicle will then probably press charges and / or sue you for stealing her precious doggie.
I second the advice to take it to a shelter that is far away from your neighborhood.
cuntsicle? Fantastic. Let me write that one down.
Kopi, what a sad, horrible story. I quadruple the motion to dognap the pooch, as I have wanted to do to my in-laws neighbors for so long.
These snatchcombs have two young boys who had a jack russell terrier. They would throw the ball for the terrier…right into the street, the dog would get hit, die, the kids would burst into tears and BOOM! the next day they’d have a new dog to do the same fucking shit to. These boys are now on their fourth dog and I never see it without some sort of bandage or cast on one of it’s little legs.
DOGS ARE NOT POGS, people. Think about that when you just hand them over to your kids and assume it’ll keep them quiet. They demand care and love and respect for the love of christ.
jarbaby
I have to say that I too would consider a bit of lawbreaking in this case. I would get that dog TODAY and get it the hell away from these shortfingered idiots.
Pointers have their own rescue societies, see if there is one near you. If not, take this poor dog for a nice car ride, with food and toys and love, and get her to a caring shelter at least 2 hours away.
Good luck and happy dognapping, er, I mean good luck with your humanitarian parole of a tortured political prisoner.
jarbaby, are you fucking kidding? I just had to throw away the rest of my lunch…
I think this is more than one of those times when you should call animal control anonymously. No dog deserves that.
Mercutio,
From the OP:
Perhaps a little over reaction and exaggeration on the OP’s part?
Unfortunately, probably neither an exaggeration nor overreaction.
Unless the dog is actively being “abused” - which, contrary to what you and I may believe, does not include being chained up in the back yard - usually neither the HS nor shelters can take the dog away.
If there were no water bucket, maybe.
Try calling the local health department office. Maybe if they see the dog is in an unsanitary condition(or the place in general is), they will take the dog out of their owners.
Would the collar accommodate the neck of Ms. Pohunk Hillbilly?
(If not, I’d gleefully slip you a few bucks to purchase one that would keep HER chained up for a day or so, as well as a bit extra for the crappiest dog food I can find.)
Good luck on whatever you decide is right.
Easiest thing to do is twist the clasp at the d-ring on the dog’s collar. Wear gloves. If the D-ring doesn’t break the clasp usually will. Or tear out the hole in the collar where the buckle hooks through. So it looks accidental. Don’t ask me how or why I know this.
And don’t be so quick to cast aspersions on my hillbilly bretheren. Look around you and carefully note the distinct difference between hillbillies and trash- and I specifically don’t say white trash because trash has no racial boundries.
Yes, I have family who won’t wear shoes. They never mistreat their dogs, their feet are just a little, er, off-putting.
And a true hilbilly has his dogs loose, usually blues, and they usually live in the outhouse. Nothing quite as nice (in a hillbilly kind of way) as wandering to the outhouse in the middle of the night, chasing a blue tick hound off the seat, and sitting on a nice, warm seat. It’s a creature comfort missing in the world of porcelean and plastic.
Good luck, for you and the dog.
b.
Wow, lotsa talk, no ACTION.
Can we get a TIME and a PLACE to mount this rescue?
If I can’t be there, I’ll foot my share of the bill.
But I REALLY wanna be there!
Dogsbody, you’re correct. I have made legitimate complaints and unfortunately, their neglect is considered borderline. She isn’t beaten regularly, she’s not thin or malnourished, her setting is relatively clean, etc. There are no laws requiring people to do anything more than basically sustain the animal’s life, sadly enough. I live in a relatively small rural township setting where there are no real noise ordinance laws although I did finally call the sheriff one night when she was wailing at 2:00 a.m. and the wind chill was –10. They talked to them briefly but basically told me, ‘You’re out in the middle of nowhere, you’re going to have a hard time getting anything done.’ The officer was pretty disgusted himself though and advised watching for signs of neglect then calling animal control. Consequently, Mrs. Pohunk’s children told me that they ‘threw cold water’ on her in the middle of the night for barking after that incident. As I stated, it was freezing out and I felt horribly responsible for their new discipline technique.
I can’t snatch her because they’ll definitely know it was I but I WILL find a way to get her out of there. I would never have imagined it would be so difficult but our society is overrun with abandoned/abused animals and there’s just no place for them all according to the authorities. The situation has to be pretty severe for them to actually go out and pursue them.
Billy, my apologies… keeping our sense of humor about the ol’ Pohunks has been critical because they make us crazy. The hillbilly reference came from the various Clampett-isms we rely on to dilute our anger with these people. I intended no disrespect… please, don’t sick the bloodhound on me!
But… can I borrow that Tick Hound this winter?
dogsbody,
Being chained up in the backyard constitutes abuse?
If so, do you know of any threads along these lines? I’d like to read the arguments for and against.
Hibbins,
Ummm… I’m pretty sure that dogsbody was saying that having an animal chained up does not constitute abuse. If you read what he wrote, that becomes pretty clear.
Kopi - Maybe you should ask them if you can have their dog. It seems to me that you would provide a loving home, and they would probably be more than willing to rid themselves of a cost burden. Don’t ask, though, if you have any itch to dognap (obviously).
No apologies expected or necesary- though they are appreciated- my quote was as tongue in cheek as I know your OP was.
As for the hound, I wish I had one. My border collie won’t go near my crapper except to attempt to drink therefrom.
Good luck with the rescue.
b.
If she won’t give you the dog, offer to buy it. Tell some dog-loving folks besides us of the dog’s plight, and solicit some donations towards the cost of the dog. If Ima Lou Bumpus resists, keep upping the price until she caves.
If you do decide to do so and want to solicit donations, I’ll send you a check.
That’s Hillbilly Demon you steaming pile of
[sub]…check’s OP…[/sub]
Never mind.
Others have addressed various resue plans. Here are a few (un)pleasant thoughts that may improve your mood in general:
Go to the local bait store and buy 5000 crickets and put 'em in her car.
Order a subscription to “BDSM Digest” or whatever and have it delivered to her house.
Tell her you’ve joined the church of Satan. Witness. Repeat.
Line her driveway with those little gun-powder poppers that look like big sperm.
Fake a UFO landing on her lawn at 3:19 AM. You know about them hillbillies and alien abductions.
Grease up the handle on her trash cans with vaseline.
I’ll say the same thing I said the last time this question came up:
The big question is, would the dog be better off dead? If the answer is no, this is not a fate worse than death, well then, morally, one ought to use avalible resources to help one or more of the millions of dogs that are killed every year because there are no resources to support them–thier needs are more urgent.
If the animals condition is worse than a quick, painless death (and it may well be) then you are justified taking action to either rescue it, or, disturbing as the concept is, killing it. (Not that I could ever do such a thing, personally, but in such a case, I don’t think it would be wrong).