Is it the government’s business? I know at least one southern state has had (might still have) a law against selling (possibly owning, anyone?) dildos. Is this kind of law constitutional? Is it fair?
–
From an actual catalog: “Disco balls create an enchanting, dazzling effect of light shafts, adding movement and glamour to any occasion”
the Abrams’ bris was certainly memorable
O p a l C a t
www.opalcat.com
Fair? Constitutional? Silly?
Yes, yes, yes.
What is unfair? Unless one group of people is allowed to buy didldos and another isn’t then the law is fair.
Constitutional? Why not? Is there a right to seek orgasm with inanimate sex toys somewhere in teh Bill of Rights? “right to life, liberty, and teh pursuit of vibrating sex aids?”
Silly? Absolutely. It is a ridiculous example of legoslatures meddling into private lives instead of serving the public good. What effect do they imagine this law will have? Are carrots and cucumbers next? Do they have an undercover dildo patrol on the lookout for pushers? Will those police carry shiny black batons? Will there be film at 11?
Inquiring minds would rather give a fuck.
The best lack all conviction
The worst are full of passionate intensity.
*
I’m sorry. I thought this was another thread about Michael Masterson.
Carry on.
Just a WAG here, but I think this law may be designed to protect insurance companies.
Follow the logic:
I met a guy way back when (early 80’s) whose mom managed a Spencer’s (back when they sold these things). Well, some dude takes a vibrator and shoves it so far up his butt that he has to have it surgically removed. He then goes and sues Spencer’s.
Obviously, somebody had to pay for this surgery. Either his insurance company, Medicaid, or (if he didn’t have insurance and didn’t pay for it himself) the hospital ate the cost.
Now, I’m not saying the guy can’t do the same thing with a carrot or something, but outlawing dildos takes at least one apparatus out of the mix.
Of course, I could be wrong.
Alabama is the southern state in question, and the whole incident embarresed the hell out of most of us who live here. Just for the record, the law is no longer on the books, having been struck down by the courts (I am not sure on what grounds) and never sought to outlaw dildos per se; it outlawed vibrators specifically.
The legislator who introduced the law and later fought for it in court, (and I can’t remember who it was) was not the brightest bulb in the chandellier. He seemed to feel that declaring war on vibrators in the name of family values would be a great publicity move, and that a great outpouring of grassroots support would develop. Thankfully, even in Alabama most people recognized that even if you don’t like vibrators and don’t think they are good things, there are bigger threats to family values out there than sex toys. He had no support, and was pretty much a laughing stock. So, Opalcat, there is no movement sweeping the southern states to outlaw dildos–just one polititian from Alabama who was trying to find his own personal niche in the “family values” bandwagon. Luckily it didn’t work out.
Actually, I think most of Dildo’s laws are enacted under the authority of Newfoundland’s Urban Municipality Act.
and the stars o’erhead were dancing heel to toe
If said legislator in Alabama had no support when he introduced that absurd law, how was he able to get it passed??
-Melin
Who is NOT Straight Dope Staff
Siamese attack puppet – California
Someone should write a book about all of the stupid laws still active in the States.
In Florida, cohabitation by two unwed people of the opposite sex is illegal.
In Florida Anal Sex is illegal between two consenting adults.
A local city tried real hard to make it illegal for two unrelated people to rent an apartment or house together. (The local rich did not like it when people rented houses together in order to pay the HIGH rent.)
In one city, somewhere, I forgot where, it is illegal for Robins to use a local bird bath, set out mainly for Cardinals. (I’d like to watch them try to enforce that!)
In another city in Florida, children have had an uninforced 10:00 PM curfew for something like 40 years.
There is still an active law in one of the Southern States that says a motor vehicle must be accompanied by a person walking 20 yards in front of it, carrying a flag and setting off fuzees to alert the general public of its passage.
In one city in Florida, a law was passed requiring that all rail road trains passing through the city after 12:00 at night sound their horns very briefly at all crossings so as not to disturb the sleeping locals. (They apparently were not too concerned about plowing into drunks and what not that might be ON those crossings.)
It is actually rather easy to get a law passed in Alabama with no support. Six months ago or so a law was passed that, had it been signed, would have legalized Sunday liquor sales. After it had been passed the press picked it up, and evey single legislator denied having ever read it, including the one who introduced it to the house. He claimed that the lobbyest who gave it to him “mislead” him about the contents. This suggests in Alabama it is a better political move to admit voting on bills you have not read than to admit to supporting Sunday liquor sales. . . anyway, I digress. This sort of thing is not at all uncommon at the state level, especially in states such as Alababma where the legislature is a part time job. No one has time to read everything, so they pass each other’s bills as a courtesy-- only on controvrsial subgests do they posture and debate.
I am not really sure how the vibrator law got through--but anyone who supported it at the beginning was quick to distance themselves after the harsh public reaction except for that one guy--during the controversy he was all alone on his soapbox.Doesn’t anyone else see the obvious logic behind this law?
Most legislators in Alabama are men. They figure that if women can’t get their hands on a vibrator, they’ll have to seek satisfaction by more traditional means.
Therefore, the legislators hope that this bill will increase their odds of getting laid.
A beautiful expression of the male imperative. 
Dr. J
“Seriously, baby, I can prescribe anything I want!” -Dr. Nick Riviera
Any truth to the rumor that the legislator who wrote this bill had just accepted a sizable donation from the banana growers lobby?
I remember reading in a Molly Ivins column that in TX it is legal to own five or fewer phallic sex toys, but more than that is illegal. So I guess if you only own a couple, you’re just a hobbyist, but more than that, a dangerous pervert. :rolleyes:
Prairie Rose
If you’re not part of the solution you’re just scumming up the bottom of the beaker.
I’d imagine that that particular law is one that is designed more to target the sellers than the buyers.
Kind of like around here.
Sex sells. It always has. Around 30 or so years ago, the locals decided to forbid topless clubs in town. They also decided not to allow in any adult book stores. So now, a negligée shop sells pornographic toys in the back, a head shop sells toys and films, and every video store has an adult section. They tried to close them up, but the folks refused.
All of the topless bars moved to the next city and they made a bundle. Then the religious minority bitched and after a big squabbled from the public, the city fathers ignored everyone and shut them down – along with the thriving adult book stores and a couple of long time whore houses.
Some groups made stores selling sexually oriented magazines cover the fronts. The businesses moved into the next city and there they stay and major bucks move from my city to there every week.
It always is a small group of sexually retarded, holier than thou people who start the shit and for some dumb reason, the local government joins right in, I guess to make it look like they’re pure and hoping the public will not notice the funds they’ve been stealing and the lands they’ve been grabbing.
There will always be sex and will always be a market for services and items concerning sex. People might as well get used to it.
Once, when a group of righteous citizens – mainly women – were picketing a local convenience store over it’s displaying of adult magazines like Playboy, I went in, bought one, and strolled out with it open and looking at the centerfold. That pissed them off and when I was called a pervert I politely responded to the lady that perhaps if she got more dick, those frown lines might not be so deeply etched into her face.
Now, there is no problem in buying booze in any of these ‘moral’ cities. Booze is all over the place. In one city, I drive around and spot business after business shutting down and a couple of miles away, across the city line, are topless places, thriving and more being built and along with a couple of eateries, a few all night convenience stores and an adult book store.
I wonder just who the moral majority actually hurt? Themselves and their city maybe?
Manda JO is absolutely right.
I worked from Feb 93 thru Nov 99 for a State (OK, Commonwealth … same deal) Legislature, and I’d say 90% of our State-level legislation passed w/o any real debate.
A bill is given its “readings”, referred to committee, the report accepted and the final version placed in the Order of The Day, all by the “without objection” mechanism (“The Committee on Small Business has presented a report on HR3375, Mr. Speaker, I move we accept and include in the Order of the Day”“Any objection?Without objection it is so ordered” This takes less than 10 seconds and there is no mention of what IS HR3375 about). At the end of the day’s session, the whole set of bills included in the Order of the Day, if no major controversy is contained, is voted upon en-bloc.
Now you add to this that Legislatures are extremely fond of the “discharge” mechanism, by which after the bill is referred to committee, anyone can move that the committee be relieved of studying the bill and it be placed in the next Order of the Day (Committee Chairmen are usually thankful for this, as their time is busy enough with real work to have to call a hearing on every piece of s…tuff their Distinguished Colleagues file).
If both houses do this, you have a bill passed and enrolled without anyone having paid much darn attention as to what it contained. My job description included intercepting these kinds of things.
Now there’s another fun element: in most if not all States, if the Legislature’s still in session and a bill is sent over to the Guv’s office, and he does nothing for X number of days (10 workdays here), the bill IS enacted with no need for the Governor’s sig.
Voilá: a Law NOBODY is responsible for.
JRD
Interesting theory, RainbowSerlin.
You know, I just finished reading your cranky “hate crime” thread.
I would recommend that you go out and get as much dick as possible.
Gypsy: Tom, I don’t get you.
Tom Servo: Nobody does. I’m the wind, baby.
Sentinel said:
Someone has. I remember reading about it. I don’t, however, remember the title, author, or any other relevant information that would help you find it. Sorry.
Sentinel,
There is a site: http://www.dumblaws.com I am not sure how detailed it is in terms of sexual laws, but there are some interesting laws on the books.
Opal,
I remember seeing a 20/20 type clip on the exact law. There was one woman they focused on in the state that was against it because of her home based business that dealt with candles, sex toys, oils etc…
Anyhow if it’s any consideration, they could simply visit this web page and get all the vibrators they want! http://www.condom.com/vibrators.html
ALPHAGENE
Hmm. According to your profile: high doses of antidepressants. Now, being careful NOT to incur the wrath of the ever watchful monitor – I might assume that if you take the antidepressants, you probably are mostly asexual along with being emotionally unstable. Also your ‘condition’ might account for your suspicious, irritating, often paranoidal nature and obvious periods of irrationality. Not to mention your antagonizing tendencies and obvious delight in just being a pain.
I suspect you require a lot of ‘dick,’ probably of the size and dimensions of the average sewer pipe.
It’s Waynesboro, VA. And its waving a red flag, no “fuzees”.