This. Problem solved with rude person, brisket recipe is now imperative.
No they are not
She is being rude, but it won’t do your relationship with your nephew much good to ban her from your home. Seems like she is making an effort, at least, to wait till you are all done eating. Maybe over time she can be persuaded to not using her phone at the table at all. If she is otherwise nice, I wouldn’t blow up the relationship over something like this. She could be a lot worse.
Just invite the nephew, fer goodness sake. You know this person is either a rude dingleberry and/or has a severe impulse control disorder. You’re only punishing yourself by continuing to invite her. Leave her out of the invitation and tell your nephew why. If the girlfriend has a drop of social grace, she’ll apologize and promise to leave the phone at home going forward.
I think her behavior is rude. Perhaps some people today would disagree. It doesn’t matter. You don’t enjoy her company and she doesn’t add anything to your dinner parties. Those are perfectly valid reasons not to invite her back. Her absence can make room for someone who will appreciate the dinner and the companionship. Perhaps me. 
Dinner guest on cell phone … WTF?
My son is on the graduate student’s council at his school. One of the council’s functions is to host receptions (icebreakers) with the applicants when they come in for interviews. Just this week at one of the receptions, one of the applicants for the very limited slots in a PhD program spent the entire evening on her phone - texting, talking, and surfing.
The council will make their feelings about this known to the admissions committee.
It is not rude at family dinners, because your sister is a medical doctor, her husband works at a nuclear power plant, their daughter is looking up the answer to some question you all had, and their son is 14 and yes, it is rude, but he can be even ruder, so deal.
I would have stopped all conversation and eating by putting down my fork and watching her every time she looked at her phone, and then asked if every thing was alright when she looked up. Every time. Until she said to nephew, “Your parent-sibling is kinda weird …” and he could clue her in. But that ship has sailed. So, I recommend:
A. Tell your nephew that you don’t care he is gay, he can stop bring home dreadful young women so that you will be relieved when he brings home a well brought up young man, and / or
B. Start inviting other well brought up young women, or men, depending on his reaction to A., to join you on Sundays.
I’d also recommend switching to a stir fry, and having your family / guests prepared the vegetables while you all chat. You can’t handle a knife and an iPhone together.
Just don’t ask her to remove her baseball cap while eating, as discussed in Weird restaurant policies. Some there argue that caps are OK because society’s rules are changing. Therefore, since society is changing, you have to allow her to have her cell phone.
I don’t agree or condone with either of those arguments.
Sounds like the technique used by Queen Elizabeth II, when someone’s cell phone rings while they are in a small group with her: She looks directly at them (like everyone else is doing) and says “You’d better answer that. It might be someone important.” That seems to be quite effective for her.
WTF is she has no home training. Use it as a teaching moment. And state straight-up you don’t allow phones at your table. She will either learn or stop coming. Problem solved.
Bloody Millennials
Yes, she’s really rude. But I don’t think being all passive aggressive on this, by not inviting her, will get you anywhere. I favour the direct approach - when someone gets a phone out at my dinner table, I just call them out ‘no phone at the table’! If they persist, I’ll put a bowl in their face and say ‘no phones’ and invite them to drop it in.
If I’m out at dinner with someone who does this, I’ll do the same. No ‘would you mind’, no stares, just ‘excuse me, were you brought up in an Apple store?’.
Seriously, unless people are publicly called out on this, they’ll never get it.
I think you guys are making a mistaken assumption here.
The fact that she waited until everyone was done eating suggests to me that she is trying to be polite, but simply didn’t understand the extent you wished her to stay off her phone. I could definitely see thinking using the phone after everyone has finished eating doesn’t count as using it during dinner. I doubt she realizes she did anything “rude.”
I have to admit, I don’t really get the idea of continuing to sit at the table after everyone is finished, to be honest. I get sticking around if you’re having a conversation with someone who is still eating, but, if everyone’s finished, I’d expect that we’d soon move on to cleaning up or going to talk in another room, or even possibly going off and doing your own thing (if such is appropriate).
You can’t be subtle about this.
If you don’t want phones at the table then SAY “I have a no phones at the dinner table policy”. State it plainly. Ideally before everyone is seated, but if not, the very first time the phone comes out.
If she does not comply after being plainly told then do not invite her again.
(My sister in Buffalo has a “no phones at the table” policy and she IS a doctor - when she’s on call the “on call” phone is nearby and if it rings she will answer it of course, but she is gracious enough to say “excuse me” and leave the table to get it. If she’s not on call it’s not answered.)
Nah. A little bit less, IMO.
Leave her out of just the next invitation. After that she should get the message so then give her one more chance. If she flubs that one… she gone bye bye.
Just explain to your nephew what you’re doing and why. Personally, I think that, unless she’s really hot and he’s just in it for the sex, your nephew should seriously consider upgrading.
I would explain the rule and also its reason. I don’t want devices at the table because I want people to enjoy this meal and communicate with each other face to face without distractions. That’s the way we did it when I grew up and I believe it is a valuable way to keep a family and friends close.
It’s called ‘being sociable’. Chatting across the table, having a glass of wine… I can understand if it’s an average Tuesday night with your SO to just wolf and go, but if you’re at someone else’s house for dinner, then the meal is more than just fuel. At least in my world.
I agree she’s being rude, but maybe she doesn’t want to be there, and is only there because the nephew wants her to come along. Maybe she has some social anxiety. Maybe she has no interest in the kind of things the rest of you talk about. Maybe she’s an introvert, and finds having to sit around for a relatively long period of time with a bunch of strangers and nothing to do stressful.
You might be doing her a favor by allowing her to stay home, or to leave the table early, or maybe to do something to help out.
All of those are possibilities, sure, but the fact remains that the impact of cell phone addiction on social interactions is a pervasive plague on society. I was recently at a sushi bar – the kind with an omakase menu where a skilled chef prepares beautiful individual items that are practically works of art, and ceremoniously presents each one to each guest. The preparation and presentation itself is traditionally a big part of the experience. One of the guests was so completely absorbed in their cell phone that they not only ignored the whole process, but were actually oblivious to the chef standing in front of them holding out the next course. If the chef had taken that cell phone and shoved it down (or up) the guest’s nearest convenient orifice, I would not have been surprised and would have cheered him on.