If you must know the gory details, you can check [thread=430194]this[/thread] thread, but the short version is that my old college roommate has come for a 9-night visit with 6 other people , none of whom I’d met before (roommate, 3 of roommate’s children, friend, and two of friend’s children) to my SMALL house. The two salient points which I think are generally agreed upon are (1) it is completely inappropriate for them to impose on me this way; and (2) I should never have agreed to it in the first place (in my defense, my roomie did not contact me and say “hi, can I visit for 9 nights with 6 people?” – I’d always told her she was welcome to visit, and she said “could I visit this year,” I said yes, and slowly the numbers/dates grew.)
Okay, so…with my backbone a bit strengthened by some comments in the last thread to the effect of “hey, they can’t take advantage of you if you don’t let them; find them a place to stay and tell 'em that’s where they are going,” I did try to see if anywhere was available before they arrived. But at the last minute, nothing was.
So they arrived and we’ve been together 3 days. How’s it going, you ask.
In some ways, great. They are extremely considerate – the first thing they did was go grocery shopping and buy all the groceries; they cook for us all, they clean up, they are very gracious. But by “they,” I mean the grown-ups. Turns out the kids are younger than I expected … the actual children include a 5, 7 and 10 year old, plus two teenage girls.
The 5 year old is a brat – constantly saying “Where ARE we? Why? How come we are stopping here? But I want to surf. When do we surf?” (Add demanding, aggressive tone, and repeat endlessly, and you will have some idea of the phenomenon.) He and the 7 year old girl quarrel constantly (they aren’t actually brother and sister, but they act like it) and loudly. The 5 year old won’t leave my 9 year old son alone. My son varies between putting up with it, and needing to be reprimanded for his rudeness.
And, there is NO effing space in the house. Ever. I can hardly see my countertops. My son is sleeping on the porch off my room; the living room … oh slaps self I must stop whining. You can all imagine. Think “living hell.” Think “crotchedy hermit suddenly finds herself unable to even get a cup of coffee in the morning because there are three kids standing in the way making oatmeal, and the rest of 'em have taken all the seats at the table.”
So… I’m out in the carport talking to my neighbor/property manager, who has commiserated with my plight. I’m updating him, and I basically say to him pretty much what I wrote above.
Then the neighbor comes into the house to look at a repair that needs to be made. Moments later, my roomie comes in with a sort of plastic smile (or did I just imagine it) and … gulp … A LOAD OF LAUNDRY. Why does this matter? BECAUSE THE LAUNDRY ROOM IS NEXT TO THE CARPORT AND SHE MAY HAVE HEARD EVERYTHING I SAID.
Oops, I’m shouting. Sorry. It’s stress.
So, I’m pretty sure she did hear, because (or is it just my paranoid imagination?) it seemed like right after that, she disappeared into the guest bedroom and had a whispered conversation with her friend.
Oh, and speaking of the friend … it came up in the previous thread, why were these people so cheap that they would impose on me when I can’t even offer comfortable quarters? The answer seems to be two-fold: one, my roomie has no idea (or didn’t until she [maybe] overheard me) that she was actually imposing. She really thought I’d actually LIKE to be surrounded by too many people in too little space, especially a bunch of children. The friend? Well, the friend is cheap (didn’t want to buy milk in the grocery store when she saw how much it costs here in Hawaii). It turns out the friend is not a physician (though her husband is) so who knows, perhaps this trip is a financial strain and they need to conserve cash. Or maybe she’s just temperamentally cheap, I don’t know.
So … they’ve gone off to the beach. My son and I had already had plans to go to an astronomy lecture that is too late/not of interest for everyone else, and so it makes sense for us not to accompany them.
However, the ambience in the house just before they left makes me SURE my friend heard me.
Uh oh uh oh uh oh uh oh. What do I do now? Pretend I have no idea she overheard, and soldier on, I guess.
Oh, by the way? The one I was accusing of being a BRAT? That’s roomie’s son.