17 years ago, I posted two threads about a very bad houseguest situation. Links to follow, but in summary, my college roommate (27 years after graduation, during which time we’d kept in touch but not all that much) asked if she could visit me in Hawai’i.
Of course I said “yes,” but was subsequently blindsided by the fact that she then said she’d like to bring three of her kids, her friend, and two of her friend’s kids, for a total of 7 houseguests, plus me and my son. I told her my house was too small for 9 people and that they’d be more comfortable in a bed and breakfast, but did not come right out and say “no,” so that was my bad.
I had 7 guests for 9 days (well, actually 8 because their plane was late). The 5-year-old boy (roomie’s son) was a whiny brat and the two teenage girls were sulky; one complained that her bed wasn’t comfortable, and her mother didn’t so much as mildly reprimand her. The house was far too small for 9 people and I barely hung on to my sanity.
I unwisely complained to a friend, then thought my roommate had overheard me. As it turned out, she heard only a little of my complaining about her whiny kid. But the visit just about drove me over the edge, and culminated in this lovely evening (quoting from my second thread):
…there is one story I must share that was perhaps the nadir of the visit. They never ate out if possible, but one night we camped out. It was their decision to eat in a restaurant rather than bother with the mechanics of bringing and preparing dinner at the campsite. When this decision was made, they said “besides, we have to take you to dinner to thank you.”
I said that would be very nice.
So, we get to the restaurant, and since there is a bit of a wait, they get the menu and review it in advance. They decided on a complete order for all nine of us, without so much as handing me the menu, much less saying “Carol, we’re taking you out to dinner to say ‘thanks’…so what are your favorite dishes?”
Then, when the waitress came, they tried to order 3 dishes and one order of soup, for 9 people (yes, three were little kids, but we had three big kids and three adults). The waitress told them that would not be enough, so they reluctantly ordered a fourth dish, then sniped that the waitress was impolite.
In the event, it was (barely) enough food, but I found the behavior mindboggling.
And now, I can kind of finish off the story. When they left, they accidentally took a discount card for locals that I had lent them. I called and asked them to send it back, and I am pretty sure I was rather abrupt, since that was just the final straw.
My roommate was never very good about staying in touch, and I heard almost nothing from her for the next 17 years. I wasn’t sure whether she was angry at me as a result of the less-than-successful visit, or she was just being her. But I did write to her a couple of times, and on those exceedingly rare occasions when I heard from her, I was careful to respond promptly.
So, a few days ago she called me saying she was in Honolulu at a conference. (I live on a different island.) She lives in Chicago now. “Oh, I meant to tell you I was coming, so that we could plan something, but I was just so busy I never got around to it.”
She was hoping I would fly to Honolulu to see her, but I said I couldn’t, which was mostly true as I had some rehearsals for an upcoming performance that really could not be canceled. However, if I had REALLY wanted to, I guess I could have worked something out, since it’s only a 1/2 hour flight between islands.
So, she came to see me for the day, and we had a nice time. Interestingly, SHE REMEMBERS ALMOST NOTHING!!! of the ill-fated previous visit. In fact, she said, “hmm, was it just me that visited, or did my friend Sue come as well?” I told her, “Yes, it was you, three of your kids, Sue, and two of her kids.” This rang no bells.
I’m not sure I’d bother with the original threads, but if you are bored out of your minds, or perhaps vaguely recall the original discussion and want to refresh your memory, you can do it here:
Now that’s funny!