Winner!
This reminds me of a line from the 2004 “King Arthur” (the one with Clive Owen and Keira Knightley):
Bors: “Well, now that we’re free men, I’m gonna drink 'tll I can’t piss straight.”
Gawain: “You do that every night.”
Bors: “I never could piss straight. Too much of myself to handle down there…”
[looks at the Knights]
Bors: “Well, it’s a problem! No really, it is. It’s a problem. It’s like…”
All the Knights, in unison: “…a baby’s arm holding an apple.”
I think he’s referring to this:
Meadows: [looking at porn] Are they really doing that when they take that picture?
Buddusky: [pause] Well kid, there’s more things in this life than you can possibly imagine. I knew a whore once in Wilmington. She had a glass eye… used to take it out and wink people off for a dollar.
Which replaced this, which the director wanted cut and a new line written:
“I want to have your abortion.”
The grade school line is funnier.
I think it is as well. The abortion line is crude and shocking, the grade school line is crude, shocking, and funny.
From South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut:
“What the heck is a rim job?”
“Why, that’s where you put your legs behind your head and let someone lick your ass.”
Nitpick: it was actually Laura Ziskin, President of Fox 200 Pictures, who objected to the “abortion” line and demanded that it be changed. When David Fincher came up with the “grade school” line, she was aghast as she felt it was much worse, and insisted that the line be changed back. However, Fincher refused.
Two lines you probably don’t remember because they’ve been edited out of almost every version of the films.
Sonny Corleone in The Godfather:
“Hey, listen, I want somebody good - and I mean very good - to plant that gun. I don’t want my brother coming out of that toilet with just his dick in his hands, alright?”
Lili von Shtupp in Blazing Saddles:
“Is it twue what they say about the way you people are. . . gifted? (Pause) Oh, it’s TWUE! It’s TWUE!”
Sheriff Bart: “Excuse me, you’re sucking on my arm.”
Just because it’s delivered by sweet ol’ Betty White: “If I had a dick, this is where I’d tell you to suck it.”
From Kingsmen: The Secret Service
Gary ‘Eggsy’ Unwin: Sorry, love. Gotta save the world.
Princess Tilde: [In a thick, Swedish accent] If you save the world, we can do it in the… asshole.
Gary ‘Eggsy’ Unwin: [Calmly] I will be right back.
Subtlety from Animal Crackers, with Margaret Dumont and Groucho Marx:
Mrs. Rittenhouse: “The storm has put the lights out, and you can’t see your hand before your face.”
Spalding: “Well, you wouldn’t get much enjoyment out of that.”
There’s a line in “Monsters, Inc.” that I couldn’t believe got past the censors, because it’s a kids’ movie. One of them says something like “I need to milk my yak, but unfortunately, I always get hairs in my teeth.”
:eek:
And there’s also a line in “Inside Out” where the little girl insists that there are no bears in San Francisco. :o
Bond films can get pretty dirty considering they’re only PG-13
<After Bond has sex with a woman called Christmas Jones>
I thought Christmas only came once a year?
The bolded line has never been in any released version of Blazing Saddles. Mel talked about it with me (and about 500 others) in July. Unless he included the line on the DVD and forgot.
Hard to top this:
Who am I to argue with Mel Brooks? Even so, I’ll stand by the first part of the line for this thread.
From the outtakes to “Grumpy Old Men”: Looks like Chuck’s taking the skin boat to tuna town!
From 42nd Street, in 1933:
Chorus girl to another chorus girl who’s sitting on a man’s lap: “What are you sitting on?”
Other chorus girl: “A flagpole, I think.”
“Mother pus bucket”
From Heathers, "Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Theresa? "
From this week’s Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern. They are chowing down on freshly killed rattlesnake (they also showed Andrew chopping the head off to kill it, no cut away) and he says, “How can anything so dangerous taste so good?” One of the locals replies, “I know a few women like that”.
They are making the show much tougher it appears. They also showed a calf being butchered and one guy reaches into the freshly opened chest cavity and just flings guts everywhere as the stomach explodes.
Dennis