This approach tends to work best for me. I do like an acknowledgement from my closest family. It’s a milestone for my parents. But aside from that, I do not think anyone else knows when my birthday falls and I prefer to keep it that way. I cannot recall anyone ever asking. My birthday is suppressed on Facebook for various reasons, this being one of them.
Some people may be able to navigate this minefield, but I prefer to avoid it altogether just like I avoid other such situations with ambiguous expectations. I like to show the people in my life some appreciation on my birthday, but since that is not the norm, it is easy to overdo and look affected even though it is not my intention.