Disappointing movie quotes

“I am here to kick ass and chew bubblegum and I am all out of kick ass.”

“What in heaven’s name brought you to Casablanca?”
“My health. I came to Casablanca for the waters.”
“The waters? What waters? We’re in the desert.”
“I was being ironic, you dumb fuck.”

Good one!

Looks like I picked the wrong week to refrain from inhaling the by-products of tobacco conflagration.

“Happy Christmas”

[Spoiler]I wonder if I might crave your momentary indulgence in order to discharge a by no means disagreeable obligation which has, over the years, become more or less established practice in government service as we approach the terminal period of the year — calendar, of course, not financial — in fact, not to put too fine a point on it, Week Fifty-One — and submit to you, with all appropriate deference, for your consideration at a convenient juncture, a sincere and sanguine expectation — indeed confidence — indeed one might go so far as to say hope — that the aforementioned period may be, at the end of the day, when all relevant factors have been taken into consideration, susceptible to being deemed to be such as to merit a final verdict of having been by no means unsatisfactory in its overall outcome and, in the final analysis, to give grounds for being judged, on mature reflection, to have been conducive to generating a degree of gratification which will be seen in retrospect to have been significantly higher than the general average.


Jim Hacker: Are you trying to say “Happy Christmas,” Humphrey?
Sir Humphrey: Yes, Minister.
[/Spoiler]

Looks like I picked the wrong week to refrain from imbibing the by-products of fermented barley, wheat, rice, hops, grapes, apples, pears, millet, sorghum, cassava, ginger, potatoes, or molasses.

Ma, sooner or later, there comes a point in a man’s life when he’s gotta face some facts. And one fact I gotta face is that… broads don’t like me.

“Were I to tell you the actual facts, you’d find them uncomfortable, so I’m doing you a service and suppressing them.”

To continue my existence, or to end my consciousness and perhaps my very existence by some means or another… That is the interrogative statement I currently examine in my own peculiar way

Charlie, I could have been a top-flight boxer.

Apply the carnauba, remove it afterwards.

Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Batman.

Flash hasn’t yet passed away.

Looks like I picked the wrong week to cease consuming prescription stimulants.

I am not only prepared, but also named after a surgical instrument used to cut bone.

The laidback gentleman will endure.

Please refrain from speaking, Donny!

The Saw is a second cousin, once removed.

Please place more emollient on your skin, or I shall be forced to spritz you with my garden hose.

Dear Mr. Potter, we are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts, second most popular safety school of witchcraft and wizardry in all of Dumfriesshire.

Being Sith and dealing in absolutes have been shown to have a statistically significant correlation.