I have had a string of relationships with incredibly self-centered, insensitive, self absorbed men. I had begun to wonder whether I was just brilliant at making self abusive choices or if all men really were basically selfish creatures when partnering with women in intimate relationships.
I am thrilled to announce that the fault was mine and I take full responsibility for choosing infantile, emotionally stunted, selfish men.
He strokes my head for hours while I fall asleep in his arms.
He listens.
He can FEEL and isn’t afraid to share.
He welcomes committment.
He can say sorry when he feels he has done something wrong.
He is self sufficient yet attentive and warm.
He can talk to me when he is angry or upset.
He is a strong masculne man with a warm generous heart.
Scantilly, you haven’t by any chance ever testified in court against a mob boss, have you? I ask because I am afraid you are falling into the trap of a TX-3000 infiltration/termination mandroid!
Amen. I think I finally realized it was my lack of basic self-esteem that compelled me to put up with an awful lot of horseshit… especiallly from the last boyfriend.
Anyhow, after several very unpleasant men in my life, I have met and am currently living with one of the most decent, honest, sweetest men anyone could ask for. We met when we were patients in the same hospital, and continued to see each other after we were discharged. This guy is 18 years my senior, but looks much younger, and he’s handsome inside and out. We have found ourselves to be quite compatible: same upbringing, same religion, same sense of humor. We’re just different enough to complement each other, so that’s all right.
As far as examples of his generosity go, he’s willing to listen to me rant, drive me around (I hate to drive), bring me popcorn from Target (they make the best as far as I’m concerned, and it’s one of the few times I cheat on Atkins), help me find great sales on jewelry and clothing and wait while I shop, and put up with my weight/fat obssession. There are loads of others, but those are the main ones. I, too consider myself very lucky.
Thats good to hear. and its good to hear you are feeling like you needed to make better decisions with men rather than become cynical and just accept that we are all like that. Some people spend decades in that cycle and its bad to watch.
Although this exprience has softened my prejudice and I beleive that given half a chance many men can share warmth and generosity too.
More than anything my experience showed me that our realities have more to do with our choices, perceptions and approaches to life than any external fundamental truths.
