discussing manipulation.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I would like to start a discussion on manipulation.

A little about me - I’m a rather simple person. My idea of contentment is basic. I don’t search happiness externally. I have a strong spiritual philosophy; tears and sorrow are JUST as vital to my ‘human experience’ as happiness and joy.

That being said, I’m concerned I’m a raging manipulator.

I’ve never been broken up with (mind you, I’m only in my late 20s)

Almost every experience I have invloving other people has been positive. (my car was recently hit by a teenager who drove off after we exchanged a few words about the dammage, and left me with $800 worth of repair to pay myself… but all the interaction I had with insurance, police and mechanics was so wonderful, it more than made up for the coward that hit me and ran)

THe accident is just a recent example of how my life isn’t PERFECT, but still, when invlovling people, I tend to always get my way.

I’m having a hard time trying to explain what I want outta this thread. But, I am trying my best to live a honest and reverent life, and since I USUALLY always get MY WAY, I’m concerned I am a subconcious manipulator.

Can anyone add their definition of manipulation, or anything else that may apply?

thanks

2

Are you trying to manipulate me?? Oh, just kidding :slight_smile:

Manipulation, when it comes to relationships, is to by some means ‘force’ people to do things which they don’t want to do or in a more subtle forms, to make someone feel a particular emotion so that he/she will do what you want. The most common is guilt manipulation and anger manipulation.

Guilt manipulation basically says, “Because of your refusal to do my bidding, you have hurt me and it’s all your fault” or “If you are truly that _________ (loyal, loving, close and what have you) to me, then you shall do this.”

Anger manipulation is even more direct. I came across a number of people (including myself) who use temper flares and the using of many harsh words to get things done.

Other exists, of course – pious manipulation (“If you really love God…”) and more.

The fine line between persuasion and manipulation, I believe, lies in your attitude towards the person and how much freedom you believe the other party shall have and whether you will respect the “No” of the other party.