Discussion and/or Sniping on Another Board Open to All

Although this applies to a very recent situation, I want to make sure this is taken as a general statement.

It’s just wrong to continue an argument or have a snide discussion about a thread on this board on another board or place when:

The other board is open to other people from the sdmb and open to anyone, but not everyone may know about it and when that board purports to have an sdmb affilation and even more wrong when the original thread was closed.

I have heard that the mods frown on bringing disagreements from other boards into this one, but this is a different deal altogether. This is a disagreement on this board brought to another.

For instance, pretend there’s a thread in the Pit with two posters (1 and 2) disparaging each other’s viewpoints in a very personal way. Thread is closed.

Then on another board with a ton of sdmb members, poster 1 starts commenting on the closed thread and says things like “poster 2 is an idiot” or “I am so much better than poster 2” and the folks on that board chime in and support poster 1. Meanwhile, poster 2 knows nothing about this other place and is unaware that the discussion has now been taken to that place with other sdmb members.

It just seems wrong and unfair.

I will reiterate that although this applies to a recent incident, I’ve seen it happen before since someone told me of this place that states it has a sdmb connection. And re this recent incident, I’m not talking about hastur.

Nothing wrong about having conversations with your friends about a thread on here, just something wrong about continued bashing on a place that’s open to all about an SDMB matter.

I think it’s all good. Many things are discussed on the SDMB that exists outside of it and not everyone that’s discussed, pitted or whatever has any idea about what’s going on or that a discussion is even taking place.

I’d say when and if something like that occurs, it’s up to the administration of that other board (I don’t know which one you’re refering to, there’s a few) to take action. Or not, if that’s what they deem best.

Our position has always been that we do not allow fights on other boards to spill over the SDMB. Others may disagree.

Frankly, it seems rather childish both to whine about someone where they won’t see it and also to worry about other people whining about you where you won’t see it. It puts me in mind of school. And not upper school, either.

Really - who cares? If people think that they improve their standing by gossiping about you behind your back then let them try. Somehow, I don’t think they’ll succeed.

pan

I’m not saying that the mods here should take any action, but it just seems wrong and I guess I don’t understand why the people who do it think that’s it’s fine to do…especially as it purports something of an affiliation with sdmb.

And ** Coldy **

This is a spat discussion here that is carried on over there.

Just seems a bit clique-ish and frankly there’s nothing anyone can do except exercise some discretion instead of whispering behind people’s backs.

Heh. Kid, you don’t know half of what people on this board are capable of - trust me, I know from first-hand experience.

Still, I’d argue that you can say whatever you want about whoever you want in whatever other place you like, as long as it follows that place’s rules. I know Opal frowns upon bringing SDMB fights to FFF, and that’s her perogative - it’s her board.

If all else fails, I recommend a LiveJournal or other type of 'blog. Does cathartic wonders for your soul. :smiley:

Esprix

What’s the problem? The person being talked about is unable to defend themself?

No, I think the problem is that the person being talked about can’t handle people talking about them. I have absolutely no clue what specific issue is being referred to here, but wanting to control other peoples’ conversation everywhere else is more than a little… well, I’ll be kind… ambitious.

pan

I think the people being talked about have no idea that there’s this other place that purports to have some degree of affiliation with the sdmb where you can easily find this type of discussion, not on a day to day basis, but every now and again…

And FTR, it’s not about me, yet.

To me, this is more of a general discussion. I’m not going to point out anything, just more of an FYI to people that this sort of thing is out there and to the people who are doing it, that it’s whispering behind people’s backs and maybe they might want to cool it.

But it IS a free world and I’m not suggesting that anyone but the participating individuals stop it. And I don’t have much clout :slight_smile: but if we were in MY WORLD where the sky is purple :)…

This is kinda ironic, Esprix, because when I first read the OP, it immediately jumped into my head that she was referring to you as the offender.

Yeah, I realise that. I was merely saying that administrators of other message boards might not adhere to a policy resembling ours. And, of course, there’s nothing that forces them to.

:dubious:

:dubious:

:dubious:

:dubious:

But yeah. It’s their board - they set the rules.

Sigh.

Jeanie, why not just mail the Staff of the other Board and express your discontent? Most Staff have at least some decent people on them who want to do the right thing, and it’s very possible that no one either 1) sees what is happening, or 2) sees it in the same light which you do. Why are you bringing this up here? If the SDMB cannot or will not punish Members here that threaten or commit criminal harassment to other Members here off-board, why are they going to do anything about Members here flaming other Members here elsewhere?

And every Board is made up of Staff who are human and make mistakes. Sometimes terrible mistakes. This is why contacting more than one Staff member at once is good too - so they can discuss it and get a consensus (sp?).

And you may as well say what Board it is. There’s only one other large Board with a “ton” of SDMB Members on it which is open to all AFAIK. Skirting around the name is only drawing more attention to a situation that, from the sounds of it, should have been handled privately from the start.

I don’t know the particulars of this current situation, but twice it’s happened that people with grievances against me on this board have followed me over to Fathom for no apparent purpose other than to make my life difficult. With one, I was able to work things out via private email.

The other poster is one who has never made his email available on the SDMB or Fathom, nor was he willing to so much as open a throwaway email account in response to my request that we take it to email.

It takes two to work things out in private, and a person who will stalk someone from one board to another is less likely to be a reasonable sort.

Oh, I don’t know. I’m not so bad.

No! Wait. I meant… er…

Well, as I read the situation, it’s not Fathom, and it’s not about you, Anthracite.

It’s here: http://www.livejournal.com/community/sdmb/82403.html

Oh.

Thank you for the clarification. When the OP talks of “Boards” I didn’t consider LiveJournal to be a “Board”. Nothing against it, it’s just not a “traditional” Board in my mind. I imagine that’s shortsighted on my part, as the Satan incident and others recently show that it’s clearly evolving into a Board with a…um…“style” all of it’s own. In fact, this thread has just become monumentally sickly ironic.

I have no more comments, and withdraw my suggestions (since I’ve found the LJ people don’t really care about complaints unless they come from your attorney), as I can see where this one is heading.

Anthracite it’s not about your board or Opal’s as mentioned. And actually, to tell the truth, I wasn’t aware of what Demo brought up.

It is a live journal issue and I think my suggestion has been taken into account.

So stop sighing at me you big meany :slight_smile: LOL

Oh, I’ve done it - no denying that. But I’ve always seen LiveJournal as a different kettle of fish than a message board.

Other traditional message boards usually frown on dragging fights from other boards to theirs (like parents, they don’t care who’s right, they just want you to SHUT UP). Not that it hasn’t happened, of course - I’ve been the victim of that myself - but in general, it’s bad form, and I’ve learned that.

Now, having, at times, the need to vent, but knowing that doing so on the SDMB or any related board is a bad idea, I went for a long time without a means to do so (other than setting up my own web page, which doesn’t lend me, personally, the opportunity to update on a consistent basis). Then I discovered LiveJournal, which is, literally, an online journal. So not only do I get to discuss the unimportant details of my life for all to read (I know - please hold back your excitement :wink: ), but I also get a place to vent when I have no other place to do so - it’s my life, after all. And having the bonus of the SDMB LiveJournal community just means that I can vent to people who actually understand (even if not care about) what I’m talking about.

Did I start that thread about Joe and Ace being banned? Yup. (Why did you assume that thread was what Bottle was talking about?) Discussing it here would have been verboten. Discussing it at FFF would have probably been unwise (although I never asked Opal about it). So why not use LJ, my online journal? And it’s not like Joe or Ace or anyone else is somehow forbidden to join the SDMB LJ community - hell, we have someone with a sock puppet persona, presumably one of our myriad of banned posters.

Bottle, I’d say a real complaint would be if you posted something in a forum or medium that the person you’re discussing cannot under any circumstances respond to - your own web page, a board where that person cannot join to post a reply, etc. In the cases of here, other boards, or LJ, they assuredly can. Now, as far as them being aware of people saying stuff about them in a public forum, well, one person can’t patrol the net constantly to see what other people are saying about them. Perhaps if you see such you should notify them yourself? Heaven knows I wish someone had warned me of past instances, even though most of them I found on my own (and what a headache that’s been).

It’s good to know what people say about you. It’s better not to care. :wink: We are all imperfect, flawed humans, regardless.

Esprix

I don’t really see the point of LiveJournal. When one is writing about one’s darkest fears and venting negative thoughts, as wella s writing about one’s dreams and fantasies, why post it on a board for everyone to see? I keep a journal, but it’s of the paper variety. I share my private thoughts in it where nobody else can see.

And not to offend, **Esprix, but one would think that you would have learned by now how posting your private thoughts in a public place can come back to bite you in the ass.