Now that TAR 10 has ended, let’s discuss guidelines for taking part in the race.
I’ve assembled this list as a starting point, based on the discussions I’ve read here for the past two seasons.
Pre-race work:[ul][li]Hold a serious discussion with your intended teammate on the fact that the race is heavily about the interpersonal stress. Make sure the relationship has a good chance of surviving the race.[/li][li]Train yourselves into excellent physical condition – be ready to go flat out, all day, for several days on end.[/li][li]Conduct mental and spiritual preparation for the stress.[/li][li]Pack lightly, so you can move fast.[/li][li]Wear boots or hiking shoes with good soles and good ankle support.[/li][li]Pack extra socks.[/li][li]Include headlamps and spare batteries, and a waterproof sport watch with alarm.[/li][li]Be certain that everything you take passes TSA approval as carryon baggage.[/li][li]One of you has to be a daredevil – there is always a bungee jump or sky dive.[/li][/ul]
Skills to develop:[ul][li]Learn (or prepare a card with) several key phrases in (at a minimum) French, German, Spanish, Arabic, Indian-Hindu, and at least one Far Eastern language.[/li][li]Drive stick shift. Most of the world’s cars use a manual transmission.[/li][li]Rappelling down a rock face or wall.[/li][li]Using ascenders to climb a rock face or wall.[/li][li]Swimming.[/li][li]Navigating with a road map.[/li][li]Changing a flat tire.[/li][/ul]
During the race:[ul][li]Go fast! Decide and move out! Plan while on the move, if possible.[/li][li]Take 5 extra seconds to do things right. Count your money, verify the instructions, confirm travel directions, watch for road signs.[/li][li]Take 5 minutes and buy a good road map at the arrival airport or train station.[/li][li]The major causes of physical stress are lack of water and lack of sleep. Push bottled water every chance you get, and catch up on sleep any time you have a spare hour.[/li][li]Much of the game is won and lost on the plane schedules. Specifically ask which route ARRIVES first. Check 2-stop routes as well as 1-stop routes; check alternate airports for major cities. Confirm all seats (and your tickets!) before you leave the ticket counter or travel agent desk. Don’t wait on messenger services.[/li][li]If the airport ticket offices / travel agents are closed, immediately book your flights online, if available.[/li][li]Never check baggage on an airplane. Carry all your gear on board. This is for both flexibility (in case you have to change your flight plans) and speed (it can take an hour to unload baggage from a 747).[/li][li]Don’t help teams in return for their later help; they will only betray you in your time of need. If another team helps you in return for your later help, go ahead and betray them in their time of need – if they get eliminated, they can’t retaliate! (Props to the Evil Overlord Rules List for this item.)[/li][li]Yielding the team right behind you may not be as effective as yielding the strongest team behind you.[/li][li]Don’t act primarily to retaliate, but always act to keep yourself ahead of the stronger teams.[/li][li]Similarly, don’t obstruct or offend other teams for the sake of doing so, if the delay you attempt to impose won’t make a significant difference. Delay other teams either to beat them to the mat, a bottleneck, a yield, or to eliminate them.[/li][li]As circumstances permit, work together mid-leg for mutual immediate gain, to build goodwill for those long rest periods and long travel segments.[/li][li]As best you can, don’t switch Detours, due to the loss of time.[/li][li]Don’t be last.[/li][li]Be first when you can, especially on the final leg.[/li][/ul]
Take the time while travelling to country X by plane/bus/train to speak with those who know the local language. Learn: “hello” “Where is …?” “Can you help?” and “Thank you”.
When in doubt, hire a taxi cab driver to follow.
Try and buy a map in the airport from where you depart for the area you’re going to arrive in and study it.
Make friends with travel agents and make notes of their location in airports. You’ll need them later.
Here’s one I’ve never understood… when you’re in the final 3, ditch the backpack.
And here’s an evil one. Ask for help from fellow racers but never provide any. (Yeah, bad karma, I know. But it’s a race, dagnabbit).
**Learn to read a map! ** All kinds of maps - local, country, globe. Anything. I know it was mentioned above but it bears repeating. Some legs it’s like they don’t even try. “Navigating is hard!” You betcha. That’s why you’re doing it and I’m home screaming at my TV.
I’ll disagree with the “go fast” part. I’ve seen too many teams blow it when trying to make fast/hurried decisions. Plan “before” you leave. Too many teams are in such a rush to take off they don’t even know which direction their going thinking they’ll figure it out on the road.
Take 5 extra seconds to do things right? Hell, take 10 extra minutes to do things right. Teams that make calm calculated decisions and “race” when appropriate fair much better than teams that are in “go-go-go” mode.
Hurry, but don’t rush. Doing things right is faster than correcting them.
Read the Clue, read the clue, read the clue.
If in doubt, check that you are in the very least going in the right direction. Time is doubled when you have to back-track.
Check, check and re-check flights. Airports are bunch spots, you’ve got nothing better to do. Lay-overs are annoying, but might be faster than a direct flight (I can’t believe the 'Bamas" couldn’t find a flight to NYC out of Orly even if they had to go to Heathrow or Amsterdam)
Be patient. I know it’s a race, but more often than not being impatient only leads to mistakes.
Flip side of above, know when to hurry.
Never be the only team on a task. Yes you may be faster and win big, but on the other hand, you will have no idea where your competition is, so you just might be in last place. So if everyone leaves the salt pile- go with them.
-As a corallary to the above: If a team is “marked for elimination” stick to them like glue (unless the get the fast forward). You can not be eliminated, even if you finish with them.
Have fun, look around, enjoy the trip
and just for my mom:
Keep your mouth shut. There is no reason to embarass yourself. If you don’t have anything nice to say (especially about the locale or locals), say it in your hotel room.
When getting directions from locals, always ask, “What will I see if I miss that turn/landmark?” I use this in everyday giving directions and it helps.
Also, when possible, double check directions with another local. Not everyone knows the best way to get here. And be polite to the locals, remember that you are the foreigner.
If you are afraid of heights, get over it before going on the Race. There will always be a task someplace high up that you will have to do.
On and off, we’ve been discussing “the rules” of the Race, and you hit on most of them. You definitely identified the three biggies, IMO, to wit:
[ol]
[li]Dear Og, people, learn to drive stick! For the love of all that is good and holy, learn to drive stick. And if you can’t, make sure someone on your team can. Because you never know when you’re going to have to get your Indian driver’s license.[/li][li]Wherever you are, remember that “Chinese food” doesn’t mean what you think it means when you’re actually in China, but the Universal Constancy is that “rapido” means the same thing everywhere.[/li][li]Make sure someone on your team knows how to read a map and work a compass – preferably NOT the same person who knows how to drive stick, if only one of you does. In fact, decide ahead of time who’s going to steer and who’s going to navigate, and then shut the hell up about it, already.[/li][/ol]
You also missed three things that I would include:
[ol]
[li]Do. Not. Ever. Touch. Phil. EVER! Or a whole bunch of us out here will cut you.[/li][li]Be yourself. Don’t prepare jokes ahead of time, or pack your bag full of stupid hats, or what have you. Even the guys who were clowns for a living weren’t funny all the time. Not everyone can be Greg & Brian. Do, or do not – there is no try.[/li][li]If you have nothing in that backpack that is bedazzled, you are dead to me.[/li][/ol]
I swear to Og, if supervenusfreak and I ever do go on the Race, there will be t-shirts made up. Lots of them. Hi Opal, Rio by Duran Duran, 1920’s-style Death Ray(ce), I Went To the Amazing Bathmat (Once, in 1960, for 20 minutes), a Bedazzled “Hi, Rockle!”, Cruising With Earl…
You will all be SICK of us by the time we’re done…
From what I’ve seen, the best advice is: Team up with someone you like. Not tolerate. Not get along with. Not have known for a long time. Not are “loyal” to.
Maybe you’ll go far, maybe you won’t, but there is no chance of maintaining your mental and emotional health if you’re with someone who hates your guts all the time. Especially with the constant pressure of competition, which can magnify interpersonal friction a hundredfold.
This isn’t rocket science, finding a cure for cancer, or anything even marginally important. It’s a silly, loaded, grossly unfair reality TV contest. The least you can do is find someone who’ll make it fun.
The tips are all good, so long as you remember that like in ANY reality TV competition, there’s a lot of luck involved; don’t ever kid yourself otherwise. Be grateful for the good breaks and just accept the bad ones. Not only is it not fair, it’s designed to be not fair. Deal with it. And try to have a little fun, whydoncha.
Heh. I could maybe cross-stitch it; I never learned to embroider. And I did ask for a BeDazzler for Christmas, but I also asked for a pony and Photoshop for Dummies, and I don’t think I’m getting any of those things. I believe my husband muttered something about “public scenes” and “arrested” and “powers for evil” as an explanation.
I know you already know I love you, but I thought it needed to be said again.
I used to think I wanted to go on TAR with rockle, because she’d be a lot of fun and would make me a sparkly BeDazzled shirt, but now I pick ScubaBen because he knows all the rules and would kick ass.
Hey, I can drive a stick and read a map and I’m willing to do the scary stuff (I think he is, too) and I’ll eat any weird food that isn’t kosher.
Plus, if we went up against jayjay and supervenusfreak in footrace, we’d win.
I also drive stick and can navigate with a map, and I can do my share of the scary stuff – but please Og, nothing involving great heights!
Now all we need are BeDazzled shirts, and ways to work in references to the Taxi Assessment.
Another tip: Do unto others before they do unto you – but if they beat you to it, don’t whine. In fact, don’t whine at all, it makes the audience hate your guts.
Here’s my first pass at a list of suggested phrases:[ul][li]Please[/li][li]Thank you[/li][li]Where is ___[/li][li]I need to get to ___ as soon as possible[/li][li]What arrives earliest at ___?[/li][li]Can you take us to ___?[/li][li]Show us how to get to ___[/li][li]Will you come with us?[/li][li]Can we follow you there?[/li][li]I’m in a race![/li][li]Go faster! (“Rapido” might not work well in the Far East.)[/li][/ul]
If I didn’t know Scuba_Ben personally, and believe him to be a pretty cool dude, then I might get offended at this. But he’s, as they say, “aiiiight,” and so if you promise to take me to the Finale Parties for the chance to meet Phil, then I’d be happy to BeDazzle you something pretty. And anyway, I think Draelin is still available, so I might still have a shot.
I’m totally available. I can’t drive stick (though you bet I’d learn), but I can read a map, and am not afraid to ask strangers for help and/or directions. I’m deathly afraid of heights, but I’d do my best to get over it. As long as I can convince myself that the producers won’t actually let me die during a task, I should be able to make it through. I will happily wear Bedazzled t-shirts, but I will not carry your matching bra and panties sets, my own stuff will weigh enough. I also have a tendency to remain calm in a crisis, and I think we’d do okay, except for the part where we get to the mat and try to get Phil to say “Chinchilla”.
I wonder what the Dopers would call us when the show aired. Team Short Girls would probably be the first try, but Otto would almost certainly come up with something better by the second leg.
I also have a tendency to remain calm in a crisis, and I think we’d do okay, except for the part where we get to the mat and try to get Phil to say “Chinchilla”.