Have you guys consulted my thread on how to get the height of the ceiling without a ladder, in General Questions. It might give you some helpful ideas.
Susma Rio Sep
Don’t ever underestimate the possibility of this.
Seriously, I read through it, and while the language is certainly not friendly, I can’t see where the theory is all that far of line with my observations. Men are perfectly happy to be intimate sexually with women that they befriend (often this is more of an attraction than normal, and can make a ‘plain’ woman extremely desirable), while for women, the criteria for friendship and mate-ship are often wildly different. Of course it won’t apply to EVERYONE…too many variables involved, and there’s the whole nature vs. nurture thing, different methods of socialization, etc…but I don’t see the issue with it as a basic idea.
For those that object strenuously, or who are offended- are his conclusions very far out of line with what you’ve observed? Or is it just the principle of the thing?
Of course, I am approaching this as a guy, so this colors my view, I’m sure. what are the exact problems with the theory, other than ‘it’s horrible!’ or ‘me and my friends are different, so there’s no way it could be true for a majority of people.’
Out of a lifetime of relationships and brief sexual liaisons, I think I can point to exactly one in which the visual appearance of the woman was even relevant to us getting together.
I’d have sex with women on the basis of appearance significantly more often if the tendency to do so on short notice with no other provocation were evenly distributed by sex and/or if I was as cute and pretty to women in general as women, by and large, are to me. Since such is not the case, that portion of my sexuality just doesn’t seem to attach to anything, except perhaps a “feeling in the air” sense of the general attractiveness of women as a group.
As for relationships, the appearance of a woman has no more to do with the desirability of getting involved with her than the smell of popcorn has to do with the quality of a movie, and since I tend to negotiate the opening interactions online with mutual lack of awareness about what we look like, it simply has not played a role.
It may be true for a billion men out there, but if so that doesn’t mean it is innately so or that this observation tells us anything about who we are or who the opposite sex is so much as how sexuality is socially organized in ritual patterns that one can either follow or buck.
This theory certainly makes the predictiont that:
- Many women will want to have sex with rich men,
since they are ranked higher in women’s “real” ladder.
Experimental facts do not lend support for this claim. There are too many lonely rich men who cannot even find a date. Yet, according to the Ladder theory, they should have no problems hooking up with women in lower ranked steps of the ladder.
A quick visit to the Microsoft campus confirms Ladder’s inability to stand on its own.
Conclusion: LT is deeply flawed. Inclusion of important role of
emotion in women’s lives is advised for next iteration of theory.