My Father had gotten my Mother one of those fancy-schmancy heated bidet toilet seats a year or two ago. I used it last month when I visited him. It was… odd. I don’t think my butt has ever been cleaner post poop, though.
Have you used a… squeegee?
Yes. I’d been washing windows the day in Dec 2000 when I chose my username. I wanted something unpretentious, which obviously worked too well.
I love this! Outlines my thoughts perfectly.
When I was about 12 my parents took our family on a New England trip. Somewhere in upstate New York we stayed in a motel that had something exactly like this in light mauve. I assumed it was a toilet for toddlers and instructed my younger brother to use it.
My mother was a bit horrified but did manage to explain the bewildering adjacent porcelain bowl.
I’ve since encountered them internationally and occasionally in the US but never had the desire to try them out. I am a bit of a klutz and would probably make a mess.
For those with very hairy butts, they work much better than TP. Ask how I know.
Just like there are tubs and showers, there are tub bidets and shower bidets. A tub style bidet does not replace toilet paper. You are supposed to remove most of the poop before you lower your bum into it. But it’s very nice for general cleanliness. The first time i used one was in a hotel in France. The room didn’t have a shower (or tub) but it had a sink and a bidet. I washed my hands and pits and face in the sink, and my nether parts in the bidet.
I have also perched at the edge of a tub bidet and used the tap to rinse my anus. But that’s not really what it’s designed for.
But you still have to use TP after powerwashing your pooper with the bidet, right? Or do you just pull up your undies over a wet tushy?
With the stand alone (tub style) bidets, I’ve generally just used a towel. I’ve washed with soap and I’m pretty clean. With the spray-seat, (shower style) i usually didn’t use soap and i generally blot dry with some toilet paper, but sometimes i use a towel, especially if I’ve rinsed the front, not the back.
Does everyone have their own bidet towel within reach? Surely you don’t share one like a hand towel…
I have used my own towel, yes.
I use my own towel when i shower or take a bath, too, fwiw.
OK, thanks for the clarification. I’ve heard bidet people enthuse about how you don’t need toilet paper, okay maybe one sheet to dry. They were obviously talking about something built into the toilet. Is that what you mean by a “shower bidet”, or is there a 3rd thing?
Yeah, that’s what i mean by a “shower bidet”. A spray of water that falls away from you, like a shower. The tub ones are very much not “instead of toilet paper”, it’s just a convenient way to bathe a part that needs more washing than, say, your back. And the tub style is always used with soap, i think. (The last one i used was in Italy, and came with a container of liquid “soap for private parts”, as best as i could translate.)
The two devices should probably have different names, as they are actually quite different.
Got it. Thanks for the clarification/rundown/advice!
And, yes, I find the overloading of the term bidet a little frustrating, you’re quite right there.
Honestly, I’d probably prefer the Thai handheld sprayers to all this fancy pants stuff.
This.
And what about if they’re fictional?
And I have no idea how many people, if any, have had a crush on me. I think of a crush as something you don’t necessarily announce to the crushee – if you get as far as actually dating them, I don’t think of that as a crush any longer, though it might have started that way.
– I have not used a bidet, but think I would like to. Can’t know for sure without trying one, though.
To clarify more about the crush poll, I mean a crush on real people only, nobody fictional. Whether it is a real-life acquaintance or some faraway celebrity can be up to the pollee.
As for how many people have crushed on you, it’s just a guess. Even if the crusher never announces it, which is very common, there is often still a vibe or sense.
When I was 6-ish, my dad took me with him to visit someone who lived in a McMansion type home. I had to pee, so the homeowner gave me directions to the bathroom.
There were two toilets! I remember contemplating the situation and eventually urinating in the correct receptacle and flushing.
On the way home I asked my dad what was up with the second toilet and he explained. My dad did plumbing in new homes and the guy we visited was his boss.
Imagine our astonishment when the tiny house we looked at (and eventually bought) in Fort Worth had a full bidet next to the toilet. I’d never even heard of it before, but it’s a great feature to have.
My Italian hosts had recently moved from Florida, where their real estate agent advised them to remove the bidets to sell the house.
I like bidets. Both types. But apparently, the general public doesn’t think they are a great addition to a house.
(Italian plumbing code requires a bidet in more or less the places US code requires shower/tub.)
At my last high school reunion, I was surprised at the number of people who told me they had a crush on me in high school. I think it was about five. They were all recently divorced. Maybe they thought I was single, since Mrs Magill did not come (she had Band stull that weekend).
Today’s aloha shirt:
That’s a nice shirt!