I know I stormed out in the other thread but I got to thinking maybe I was too harsh. I saw later on that the poster I was steamed up about did get warned for his post and things seemed to have settle down so I thought I’d see what was going on in the aftermath of all of it.
Firstly, I haven’t been here that long so I don’t know squat about how this board used to be twenty years ago or ten or five or even one. I can only judge it by how it is now, and how people post now, not how the “good old days” might have been.
Trying to blame everything on current American culture and hinting that everyone who is a member here is all equally to blame seems like a passive-aggressive attempt to pass the buck instead of taking a long hard look at what isn’t working and why.
Everyone here makes a big deal out of how the main rule is “don’t be a jerk.” That means when people act like jerks, the moderators have to STOP them being jerks. Regular posters can’t do anything. If you tell someone to stop acting a certain way, you’re junior modding. If you call someone a jerk anywhere but the pit, you get in trouble for insulting another poster. If you ask people to stay on topic you get told you dn’t get to dictate how people respond to your thread. All you need is one problem poster who thinks “screw you, you’re not the boss of me!” and the thread gets overrun.
The moderators DO have that power, but don’t always use it. As a result, the posters who are being jerks keep being jerks, other posters are helpless to stop them, so the only ones left in the threads are the jerks and the posters who can’t help challenging them for whatever reasons.
You can post all the fluffy sunshine and butterflies feel-good stuff you want, and daydream about the good old days all you want, but that’s not going to accomplish anything. Those days are over. This is now. The members you have now are what you have to work with.
If you want to make the board a more civil and welcoming place, DO something! It has to start with recruiting moderators who are willing to call being a jerk what it is and stop it before it gets out of hand. And let the moderators use their discretion to do their jobs. Mods who abuse their power get kicked out. If the problem is too many tedious little conflicting rules that the “rules lawyers” can pick apart for loopholes, ditch all the rules and come up with a few clear ones that allow for leeway in interpretation.
It really does look like you’re trying to blame the membership for not being as kind and welcoming as you think they should be. Guess what, trying to guilt them into changing the board on their own won’t work. Look at any workplace where the boss won’t stand by their employees and see how cheerful and productive they are. Look at a group of kids where the teacher’s pet or the class bully is allowed to do whatever they want and tell them to be more accepting and patient. Think about a fine-dining restaurant where someone is yelling and throwing food and making a ruckus but the manager won’t tell them to leave, and expect the other guests to enjoy their meals.
Change at the bottom won’t come without change at the top.