yup. I’ve always wondered about men who used that kind of technique. I mean it just shows total lack of understanding of the other side of the equation. And yet, I have seen so many… I do not know what to think. Either they are complete self centered idiots who just have no idea or sometimes the technique does work. In any case I do not envy them.
As for divorced women, based solely on my experience, I do tend to agree with Avalongod. The ones I have dated had a ton of luggage and a very bad attitude for men. With that attitude why are they dating me? I think relationships have become pretty cynical in this country and people do not understand why they do not work out.
To answer your question: I think some men might think divorced women are easier for a quickie. Also they have probably a less serious long term interest in her so they don’t mind blowing it by being blunt or even rude.
On the other hand, never having been married myself and free of the usual baggage of children etc., I get the impression women take an interest in men in my situation, probably because they do not like dealing with that same bagagge.
And I know you didn’t ask but I’m telling you anyway because I was just on a date that made me think about it. The other most asked question by women “why didn’t he call me again?”
Ok, I’ll tell you why he didn’t call you. This is my recent experience:
I had been in touch with this woman I met on the internet and we had been talking of meeting. Finally we arranged it for today. I proposed we go to a local waterfront festival to see some sailships (an interest of mine). She says fine. We meet. First she is a bit uneasy about how to say hello. (Look it is your privilege to shake hands, nod, kiss or whatever. If you do not choose you are making an awkward situation.)
Ok, so we start driving and she says… “It’s too hot to be outdoors seeing ships, why don’t we go somewhere indoors, eat something and chat?” (Well, yes except that I invitied you to do this because this is what I wanted to do. If you didn’t want to do it you could have declined and I would have asked someone else) So I say Ok, let’s find a place to get a bite to eat. I propose a cafe sort of place but she doesn’t like it because she wants something quieter where we can “talk”. Finally we find a restaurant she likes where they are serving buffet and we eat and chat there. When the bill comes it is $50. She makes a very weak offer to help pay but I pick up the tab.
After some further conversation and pleasantries we part company.
Now, don’t get me wrong, this is a pleasant woman, who seems to have some fine qualities in the sense that she is quite natural and honest and not a gold digger or anything. The only thing she is lacking is some basic knowledge about dealing with people in general and dates in particular. She is probably not aware and probably asking herself why guys don’t call her again.
Well, when you have been invited to do A you do not accept and then say you want to do B.
When you propose to do B, it is your invitation and you should pick up the check (the fact that I would insist on picking it up is irrelevant).
I also would have a comment about her table manners which were not as refined as I would have liked.
Anyway, here is a good woman who will not get a call from me just because no one taught her the basics of social manners. Someone would tell me to tell her these things openly but I do not believe I should be teaching manners to anybody over 18 who is not my child.
And now that I think about it, I missed the ships which would have been immensely more interesting and rewarding…
YEs, I know that was a contradictory sentence, we men are enigmas.
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