Happily divorced guy here.
The other day in conversation with a group of people I mentioned that I was single. A friend corrected me and said I was actually divorced, as if I had made some drastic faux pas. Did I?
Nope.
Edit: To the question in your post, not your title.
Depends. I have seen lots of surveys where your marital status could be single or divorced. I’m not sure why they make that distinction, but apparently it matters to some people. I don’t think you said anything wrong, but you can see why someone may want to make that distinction. A single person has never been married before, and that may be important to someone. There used to be a stigma attached to divorced people. Now, not so much.
It might be a faux pas on a dating site where they have a separate category for “divorced” implying that anyone reporting as “single” has never been married. In most other contexts, no.
It’s not a trivial distinction. A formerly married person is much more likely to have some kind of financial, legal, or emotional entanglements and potential drama with his or her previously married life. Obviously this isn’t a hard and fast rule; a single person could certainly still have kids with an ex-, or hold property with a former lover, or paying some sort of support as a result of a prior relationship. But there’s enough of a correlation that it’s a fair question to ask in the context of dating.
Agreed. In the context of dating, it’s fair. I can’t think of another context in which it would be relevant.
Is suppose if the form you are filling out has the options “divorced” and “single”, then divorced would be the more precise term.
However, to my mind “divorced” is a subset of “single”. (assuming we are not talking about “divorced and remarried” as a form of “divorced”. I assume for you, this was in the context of “What is your current marital status?” this would be either:
- married = not available, except for sleezy affairs
- in a relationship = ditto, but covers a lot more options
- separated = still married, but probably in process of being remedied as we speak
- single = available for relationships with no qualifiers.
You may be single because you are divorced, annulled, never married, widow(er)ed, whatever. In today’s wonderful world of relationships, you may also be “single” etc. and in a satisfying co-habitation arrangement which makes the “single” label as ambiguous as some of the others about your status. So more detail is only answering the question about how you got to be single. Regardless, it’s an important detail once the conversation goes beyond “are you married?” or more precisely, “are you available?”
I always answer divorced but she couldn’t have kids and thank God because I’d be raising them. 
Get’s a lot of other questions out of the way up front and infers that she was a undependable wench (which she was) without having to actually say it.
OK, just checking. This had nothing to do with dating (I’m happy in a long term relationship that will never be marriage). The question actually was directed toward my relationship with my gf. Person asked, “are you married?” I replied that I was single and then correctness-man jumped in.
In another situation, at work a woman told me she was very good friends with my wife (she was looking for preferential economic treatment). I looked at her and said, “you must be mistaken, I’m not married!”
Distinction w/o a difference, for most situations.
In that context, I’d think that if you said that you were divorced, I would first think that it was your current gf to whom you were previously married.
To a Catholic, they are distinctly different. Probably true for other religions as well. (Mormons, maybe?)
I’ve been there, and I don’t see why you shouldn’t call yourself single.
CERTAINLY, you’d have every right to join a singles club or attend a singles event, as you’re free and clear to date/marry anyone you want.
Now we need a better term for Significant Other.
I’m 55, my SO is 54. It feels awkward calling her my gf, but even more awkward using SO. I stay away from the “W” word, although neither of us correct people who assume we are married.
When I was attending an Italian wedding with my then gf, I caught enough of the language to parse that I was being introduced to Italian-speaking relatives as a “fiance” rather than just a boyfriend. It was later explained to me that this was because in Italian it seems weird to refer to anyone over the age of 20 as a “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” and it is assumed that dating past that age is at least informally “playing for keeps”.
Personally, I prefer to use the term “Ol’ ball and chain”. 
My retort would be “I was divorced 10 years ago. Now I’m single.”
If pressed; “Divorce is a process, not a status.”
Edit: Although there are times when it is useful to say that I am divorced. Some people think you’re damaged if you’re as old as I am (51) and have never been married. Then its “Oh, you =were= married. You haven’t been hiding in a cave your entire life afraid of women. You might be ok.”
Go with “Lover”.
Linger on the word slightly, with an ever-so-slight sensual emphasis, and a touch of defiance for conventional long-term bourgeois marriage.
That’s what my SO and I used to do. Before collapsing in laughter, of course. Sadly, we’re now conventional bourgeois now, so of course love is right out the window.
More seriously, I always found “Sweetheart” to be charming and get the point across; I suppose “Live-in sweetheart” is even more specific if you need to be (or “long-term sweetheart”, too).
That’s sweet.
After 20 years of being with my SO, I’ve pretty much adopted Husband as a short hand for “the man I live with, am commited to, and plan to spend my life with”. Those close to me know the deal. Anyone else, I really don’t care if they think we had a ceremony or not.
I’d actually like to use Partner, but then seems to be pretty much limited to business partners or gay couples.
Well, I refer to my wife as my Beloved… and even if we’d never married (just been “a long-term item”), I’d do likewise.
What he said. Since you’re in a longterm relationship (and we do need a better word for it than what we’ve currently got), it doesn’t matter all that much, but if you were still looking, it does make a difference to potential dates if you were married and are now divorced or if you have never been married.
How about “Old Lady?” Can you call her your Old Lady? 