DNA extra strand activation! Only $100! Just Like Jesus!

[kaylasdad99]

@DoctorJ

But will it enlarge my penis?

Yes, it will quadruple the length and quintuple the number of nerve endings.

Unfortunately all expansions will be manifested directly into the tenth Dimension.

And if Kurt Vonnegut wants that joke back, he’s going to have to come and GET it from me.

[iamthewalrus_3]

@Metacom

Y’all are too skeptical for your own good. I had a session with Toby earlier this afternoon, and now I have telepathy and 3 extra penises.

How many did you have before activation?

[Excalibre]

@kaylasdad99

Yes, it will quadruple the length and quintuple the number of nerve endings.

Unfortunately all expansions will be manifested directly into the tenth Dimension.

And if Kurt Vonnegut wants that joke back, he’s going to have to come and GET it from me.

All you need for that is a Tug-A-Hoy. Because your circumcision is why your penis can’t expand to its full capacity.

[LilyoftheValley]

I just wanted to note that all my reply notifications for this thread are being sent to my spam folder. :doh:

[elucidator]

@neutron star

…Sounds perfectly scientific to me!

Don’t be silly. As any accredited theosophical provider can tell you, all of that is pretty much useless without a thorough re-alignment of the chakras. Otherwise, the karmic loop persists until you reboot your wetware.

[kaylasdad99]

@Alonzo John Blitz

Originally Posted by headshok:
What makes them think “activating” our DNA will give us something great like telepathic abilities or superintelligence? Maybe we’ll all end up with flippers and a rooster comb or something.

Because Jesus didn’t have those mutations, that’s how. Webbed toes, maybe.

I guess that would explain the enhanced buoyancy.

[Smeghead]

THAT’S why my stupid PCR test isn’t working! The database obviously doesn’t have the sequences of these “etheral” strands, and my primers must be cross-reacting with one of them… BASTARDS!

[Scoundrel_Swanswater]

When working on my heart, I could feel much pain, it was a bit scary because I knew much pain existed there, thus did an intense physical pain exist when you were working on me, however I reminded myself to remain calm and allow the healing to take place, thus it started to feel better & better. Both my husband & I could tell that my love channel was wider than before.

OK, most men would prefer the love channel less wide, right?

[NothingMan]

@Bricker

I don’t know even need to talk to them!

An error. Pshaw. :rolleyes: Typical of a puny human using only 3% of their two strands of DNA. Cretin.

Besides everyone in the Illuminati knows the way to activate your extra DNA strands involves an electrical outlet and a penny.

[Cynical_Optimist]

Act now and you, yes you, can join the extra chromosome club.

1-800-IMA-TARD

That number again, 1-800-IMA-TARD

Call today, 1-800-IMA-TARD

[Alan_Smithee]

I haven’t clicked the link, but I’m pretty sure someone like this came and talked about this at my college. It wasn’t anything set up by the school, just a student or one of the clubs on campus. I was going to write a letter to the dean telling him the college obviously needed to put more effort into teaching critical thinking, but I never did.

::sigh::

I went to a good school, too. Really I did.

[picunurse]

But, do they require you to submit a finger print in your own blood?
Jeeze, the porcelain levels are off the scale tonight. That would be the blood test to see if you’re a crack pot.

[Kimstu]

You will go from using 10% of your brain to becoming a multi-dimensional being

Ha ha, I’m already a multi-dimensional being! I have length,width, and height (especially width, alas).

Nice to see the old chestnut about humans using only 10% of their brains taken out for a spin again, though. IIRC Cecil has covered this.