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Theoretically it is possible to obtain a sample of Christs DNA from the Shroud of Turin. If we cloned it we could raise a bunch of carbon copies of Jesus. Would they be Divine?
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In The Di Vinci Code it is suggested that Jesus had children with Mary Magdelene, the descendents of whom live among us today. Lets combine this with the “Rosemarys Baby” thesis and assume a woman had children with the devil, the descendants of whom live among us. If a man from one group married a woman from the other they could have a child that was half Divine and half Satanic. That would be the ultimate in Manecheism, wouldn’t it?
Moved to GD.
These questions need to assume so many different things, all at the same time, that you might as well just make up any answer you like.
Props, man. That’s why you’re a mod and I’m whatever I am.
I’d have moved it to MPSIMS.
What, and given me more work?
The question is silly, but I figured I’d given people a shot at a real answer if they want to try. If it turns into a joke thread it’ll end up in MPSIMS>
No. Jesus was divine, not his mortal flesh.
Wouldn’t they be only 25% divine, 25% satanic and 50% Irish-Italian or something? That’s assuming the divinity from the Jesus/Maggie thing wasn’t completely watered down from generations of mortal breeding.
So 25% divine, 75% satanic, then?
(Runs away fast from his Irish-Italian colleagues)
- There is considerable uncertainty that the Shroud of Turin is indeed a “picture” of Jesus. A great deal of evidence suggests it is nowhere near old enough to have wrapped anyone in Jesus’ time. The debate continues. The Catholic church has taken no formal stance one way or the other on it and have said it is up to scientists and researches to sort it out.
Also, there is debate if the blood on the Shroud is even blood at all (as opposed to some pigment). Given that they argue over this I think it is safe to say, even if it is blood, any DNA it possessed as long since disappeared.
Then of course we have the issue of cloning another human which we cannot do currently although probably someday it would be possible.
Even if you did somehow manage to clone Jesus I think it is safe to say that clone would not BE Jesus (i.e. not divine). I doubt you would suggest a clone of you possessed the same soul as you do. Nor would a Jesus clone possess the original’s soul or divinity which is the important part and not the vessel it is contained in.
2) Make up anything you want for this although I would assume such good and evil are anathema to each other and would not think they would ever breed in such a fashion.
Can you water down Divinity? That means Jesus was only half divine because his mother was human.
The first question should be, where did Christ get his DNA from? Presumably half came from his mother Mary, but where did God find the other half? Did God the Father have DNA? If He did, why isn’t He equally human? Did God the Father take DNA from Joseph to supply the other half, including the X chromosome? Presumably it could not all by Mary’s DNA, since Christ wasn’t a woman – or was She?
OK, on #1:
[futurama]"DNA/cloning doesn’t work that way!!!"[/futurama]
Even assuming the premises, AFAIK there would be no way to retrieve usable DNA from a 1975-year-old bloodstain.
On #2: Isn’t one of the premises of such works as TDVC that Jesus is NOT quite “God” in the sense of a homeostasis of the trinity as per classical christian theology, but just a Very Special Annointed Human, and that what would be passed to any descendants would NOT be Divine Nature but rather the annointment upon the House of David to one day bring a rule of peace and justice? (in any case, there would not be such a thing as 1/2 or 1/4 Divine: the Godhead exists in 3 homeostases but it cannot be fractioned, all deity resides exclusively within it. The majority Christian theology is that JC is FULLY Divine AND Human at the same time.)
Sure. Jesus was haploid.
Well, that would conflict with Christian teaching, which is that Jesus is both fully human and fully divine. So since he’s already 200% (100% human and 100% divine) would this child become 100% Satanic, too? What’s the ratio of divinity and humanity retained by his descendents?
Presumably so since the OP wants it to be 50% Divine & 50% Satanic.
I’d argue that Mary was merely the vessel, not a contributor of the DNA.
You know… if the question wasn’t silly to begin with.
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Duuuuuude . . . .
have you ever, like, really looked at your hands?
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So, does that mean I’ll never get my clone-army of Super Jesuses (Jesi?)? Bummer.
Though I have to admit I could never quite figure out how to use their abilities best in combat… I don’t think there’s a huge need for foot soldiers in naval warfare, but I guess they could just keep resurrecting each other, or alternatively, if they’re all taken out, you’d just have to wait three days, and presto! New army!
Wouldn’t have to worry much about supplies, either…
try this:
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if we accept all the mythology as true, and If it was blood and the DNA was still viable, it might be possible to clone a jesus 2.0 but whether that would count as the second coming or not depends on god’s mood at the time. It might end up just being a person who basically looked like J 1.0 but wasn’t divine (but might be fabulous).
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Genetics being what they are, it’s likely that a large percentage of the population of, say, the middle east, would be descended from J and M and given migration, the genes would be gradually spreading around the world. It would not be unreasonable to assume that many europeans are their descendants, including some of the real bastards. If we further assume a devilish family spreading the same way, that would mean they could also sire some decent folks. So, more than likely the offspring of both lines combining would just be human without any special powers or halos or anything and would probably be somewhat common.
Or not.
Well, that’s the case with all of us.

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Duuuuuude . . . .have you ever, like, really looked at your hands?
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Man, how did those holes get there?
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The shroud is a fake.
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What?
Jesus didn’t have magic powers. He was at best a well meaning rabble rouser some dudes nailed to a tree. At worst he never existed at all. I’m purely basing this on the available evidence, if anyone has any opposing evidence, please bring it forward.
Or conversely, Abraham, Zoroaster, Jesus, Mohammad, John Smith and L. Ron Hubbard are all scions of the same divine bloodline. Each has given us a sharper, more clarified version of God’s will. In two hundred years the next in the line, Elijah Cheng will reveal to us God’s true vision for the world.

- There is considerable uncertainty that the Shroud of Turin is indeed a “picture” of Jesus.
That’s like saying there is considerable uncertainty whether crop circles are really formed by alien spaceships. Among rational people, there’s no uncertainty about either.