Do any other women have a disbelieving male doctor? (TMI warning, boys.)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Do you ever get the impression that your male doctor is blowing you off because you’re female?

I started writing out the whole story here, but stopped when I saw how long it was getting. Boiled down immensely, I’m having some ‘girl problems’ that run in my family. My mom is seeing a female OB/GYN, who has resolved the issues for her through a minor outpatient procedure. I’m looking to have the same procedure, and need a referral from my family doctor to do so. However, thus far he has refused to send me. He says my symptoms are “too minor” to warrant seeing a specialist. I’ve discussed this with mom - mine are at the same level hers were when she went. She didn’t need the referral, because she was already seeing the OB/GYN for another issue. He’s given me painkillers that don’t get rid of the pain; got me on iron therapy, which is working; and tried putting me back on birth control pills, which I will NEVER take again after the hell that little experience was. But he still doesn’t want to give me the referral. He thinks the bcp side effects were all in my head (RIGHT!!! :mad: ) and that the pain is something minor that women just have to deal with. :rolleyes:

Minor? I know what minor cramps feel like. And these are not freaking minor. I’d like to see him deal with these damned cramps every month. I have to pull my car over if they hit when I’m driving, or I’ll run off the road.

So ladies, at least tell me I’m not alone. Does anyone else feel like their male doctor just doesn’t get the girl stuff?

2

Does your insurance plan let you go to an OB/GYN on your own without a referral? If not maybe you can either arrange a payment plan with your Mom’s female Dr. or change your primary Dr. If you are worried about it you should do what’s right for you.

3

I just wanted to point out that female doctors can also blow off patients of either gender–in fact, a female doctor who has had minor cramps all her life might be more likely to think of cramps as a minor problem–after all, she knows from personal experience that they aren’t a big deal.

This is a bad doctor issue, not a bad gender issue. I’d suggest changing PCPs. It just takes a phone call to the insurance company, and you’ll probably have to wait a month.

4

Get a new doctor. There is absolutely NO reason for you to have to put up with this.

5

I’m going to echo dreamer here. Every insurance plan I’ve ever had allowed a woman to see a gyno without a referral from her GP. Do you get a referral for your yearly pap? And if you do, why not get one now and bring it up with him then?

Barring that, you could just tell your GP that you are dissatisfied enough with his refusal to give you the referral that you will be seeking a new doctor. If that doesn’t help him change his mind, follow through. A doctor who doesn’t listen to you and take your complaints seriously is not worth sticking around for, family doc or no.

bella

6

I’m not going to say anything different than anyone else. Get a new doctor. Check your insurance plan, you should have a well woman visit without a referal. And it isn’t just male doctors that can blow ya off.

The bottom line is you’re the person in charge, and you should be persistient until you get the results that meet your satisfaction. This is your health, not something to be taken lightly.

My OB/GYN is male, and I can not imagine having a different doctor. He is an absolute gem and takes ewvery comment I have quite seriously.

7

I second…er, fourth the sentiment here. It’s new doctor time.

I once had a doctor whose physician’s assistant was this way (and it was impossible to schedule an appointment that guaranteed I’d be able to see the doctor himself). He airily dismissed the idea that I might have endometriosis (“No, that can’t be it. It’s normal.”), he was contemptuous of the idea that perhaps birth control pills were causing my mood swings, depression, and hair loss, and finally, when he referred me to a facility to have a thyroid scan done, he told me that the fact I was nursing would have no bearing on the test. Luckily, I happened to know that the test would involve radioactive iodine, and that a nursing mother should not, ideally, be radioactive. Otherwise, I’d have sailed into the testing center completely unprepared to wean my two-month-old for a month.

I guess what I’m saying, in a very long-winded way, is that a bad relationship with your doctor can very well get worse. Get out now, before the issue is something urgent and you don’t have time to find a new primary care doc.

8

Don’t have anything new to add, except to urge you to get a new doctor immediately.

A good friend of mine has a five-year-old niece who is now blind in one eye because of a doctor like this. Her parents took her to the PCP because the child kept rubbing her eye, and it looked irritated. He glanced at it and said, “Oh, it’s fine.” No prescription, and without a referral, they couldn’t see another doctor.

Well, they were pretty sure it wasn’t fine, so they called their HMO to get the PCP changed. As someone else said, that takes time. While they were waiting, they took the little girl to an optometrist on their own dime. Lo and behold, they discovered that her eye was severely infected and her sight was already damaged beyond repair.

The point of the story is, they knew he was a jerk before that, but didn’t do anything about getting a new doctor until the you-know-what hit the fan, and then they lost valuable time. Her parents feel pretty damned guilty about that.

I’ve personally had this problem with male doctors, female doctors, even female nurse practitioners. It’s not a man thing, it’s a jerk thing, and nobody needs to be entrusting their health to someone who doesn’t really care about doing their job the right way.

9

but I would like to suggest you look into seeing a midwife. A lot of them (ok, so mostly CNM’s) do well woman checkups. Of course, many insurance plans don’t cover midwives, but most of them will work with you on payment.

A good thing about most midwives, is that they believe in a woman knowing her body better than anyone else. So, if you say something is wrong, a midwife is likely to go straight into looking to see what is wrong (ie do tests).

I know that a lot of people in America are still wary of midwives, but from my experience they are the best.

Just my two cents and MHO.

10

It’s not necessarily a male doc thing, and it relates to more than gyno issues. My junior year of college, I had a lot of medical problems. All of them were poo-poo’ed by the female nurse practitioner I saw at the clinic.

“I start coughing horribly every time I go up multiple flights of stairs.”
“Well, there’s nasty cold going around the dorms. We’ll get you some cough syrup.”

“I have a cut that just doesn’t want to heal, and all my scrapes and stuff get really badly infected all of a sudden.”
“Well, these things usually look worse than they are. Put neosporin on it.”

“I’m sleeping 14 hours a day and am still so exhausted I can barely drag myself out of bed, I’m losing weight for no reason, my appetite is nil, and my skin is turning yellow.”
“Well, your mono test was negative, so you’re probably just a little depressed. Also, you’re overweight and should get more exercise.”

“I’ve suddenly started having horrible menstrual cramps, and my periods are way heavier than they’ve ever been.”
“Oh, it’s just your nerves. Are you on the pill? That ought to clear it all up.”

This isn’t just a man thing, it’s a shitty doctor thing.

11

Get new doctor, never go back. Report him to your state medical board.

This sounds like he must participate in the profits of the plan. Lose this doctor.

12

yup new doctor time!

got me a nice lady in my college who undertands everything perfectly…and then go back to nasty man for my repeat prescriptions so i don’t have to pay for them.

works for me, i get torub his face in the fact i have a new doctor every six months and i get my BCP for free!

13

I also adore my male OB/GYN - as close as you can come to being a guy and getting the “girl stuff” He’s bothered to pay attention to the hundreds of women patients he’s had over the years - and it shows.

I was in a fairly public place recently (garage sale, so a lot of the people were neighbors), and someone had moved into town and was asking for OB/GYN recommendations. I named mine and about four other women sprang from the woodwork with “He’s mine to, isn’t he wonderful.”

And he isn’t even that cute.

I’ve had bad male doctors, and bad female doctors. (The German Prison Matron at Planned Parenthood who though the extra large speculum was one size fits all springs to mind). Good male doctors and good female doctors.

(Your “girl problems” wouldn’t be endometriosis would they? One of my girlfriends has had the best luck with a combination of surgery and diet. I’ve done the surgery thing).

14

I guess I should have split the difference between the incredibly over-wordy post I started with, and the not-detailed-enough post I ended up with. :slight_smile:

I’m Canadian, so I don’t have an insurance plan, and my doc can’t profit from one. I also live in a town with a serious shortage of doctors, so getting a new GP is difficult if not impossible. This doc has been mine and my family’s for 20 years, and on every other issue he’s been wonderful. It’s only been on the gynecological issues that we’ve disagreed. For example, I refused to see the first OB/GYN he sent me to after, on my third visit, the guy did a biopsy without warning me he was about to do so. It hurt like hell!!! And his only comment was, “Oh, that wasn’t supposed to hurt.” He also could not do a darned pap test without pain and bleeding involved. Screw that. When I protested to my family doc, he did send me to someone else, but it took some argument. That was for an issue I was having some years ago that has since been cleared up.

My doc has already sent me for a uterine ultrasound, so no, I do not have endometriosis (thank the gods). He does my annual pap tests, so I don’t see a specialist for those.

I’ll be heading back in to see him shortly, to tell him that he is sending me to a specialist. Period. And if she decides once I get there that I don’t need treatment, fine - but I want to hear it from her. If nothing else, I am entitled to a second opinion.

I’m thinking the male / female issue thing for me is a lack of having experienced a wider range of doctors. Most of mine have been male, and have been in my opinion rather inconsiderate of female-only medical issues. The one female doctor I had, when living out of this town for a period of time, was not so.

15

I have Polycysytic Ovarian syndrome
One day I was throwing up blood so I went to the ER, and you know how they ask you about any conditions you might have, and I told them about it. My Doctor then concluded that I was throwing up blood because My period was gettign ready to start. Never went back

16

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I just wanted to throw in here that biopsies really aren’t supposed to hurt… if the doctor is using new sharp instruments that is. Your doctor’s instruments were probably dull and that’s why it hurt like hell. I had a biopsy several years ago… three samples taken… and it hurt so freakin’ bad I was in tears. It wasn’t done by the OB that I see know and this guy was such an insensitive jerk. He took the last sample and it hurt so bad I kicked him in the shoulder and knocked his ass on the floor. :slight_smile:

I just had a biopsy done earlier this year by my regular doctor and I mentioned to him how bad it hurt when the other guy did it and that’s when my doctor told me about using new sharp instruments. My regular doctor did my biopsy and I didn’t feel a thing!!

He really should’ve told you what he was doing to you beforehand though. No woman needs a surprise like that… especially “down there.”

17

I was primarily disconcerted with the lack of warning. Pap smears aren’t supposed to hurt either, I’m told, but they are always incredibly uncomfortable for me.

18

I’ve seen 10 gyneocologists over the years and one was a man. I told him that I occasionally had bad cramps and would like some prescription-strength ibuprofen, which my previous doctor had prescribed. He told me that I was young and healthy and “shouldn’t” have any pain. I said that I agreed that I shouldn’t have cramps, but the fact is I did. He refused to give me the prescription. It wasn’t like I was asking for some kind of additive drug - it was ibuprofen! I do believe that if he were a woman he wouldn’t have questioned the fact that a young, healthy woman occasionally had cramps.

19

My periods were a bit funny recently - they were few and far between, more painful than usual, VERY heavy bleeding. Anyways, I went to the local [male] doctor and the conversation basically went like this “Well, I haven’t been getting my periods for a while and when I last had them, the bleeding was so strong that it was almost gushing [I’m serious], do you think there might be something wrong?”
And he says, smirking at me “You women always come here thinking that there’s something wrong with them, simply because their periods are late. You should be GLAD your periods aren’t coming regularly.”
So I said, slightly shocked at his comment “…but don’t you think it could be detrimental to my health if I don’t get my periods for long amounts of time, say, months?”
And he says “No, no…there’s nothing wrong with you. Oh, but if you ever decide to get pregnant, you’ll have some troubles”

Needless to say, I walked out of the doctors surgery angry as all hell. I wasn’t sure what I should do about him.

20

These stories are making my blood boil. Mine is trivial compared to yours, but I’ll tell it anyway, to lighten the mood.

Well…I have seizure disorder, and I’ve been seeing the same neurologist since late 2000. He prescribed Dilantin, and luckily, I’m a textbook case, so I haven’t had a seizure since I started taking it regularly, and haven’t had to try other anti-convulsants, alone or in combination. Like some poor sods I’ve conversed with on the epilepsy message board.

I have to have blood drawn every six months. Dr. F has suspended my driving priveleges twice: once while awaiting the first blood test, and another time because the most recent test hadn’t shown a high enough level of Dilantin. In March, I had a “perfect” test, and thought I was all good. A couple weeks ago, I went in for my bi-annual appt.

All of a sudden, he starts getting all teachery on me. “Your blood tests are very inconsistent!” he says, flipping through my folder. “Different levels of Dilantin…you must be forgetting to take your doses.” Well, actually, I had…early on, but don’t I get any credit for the last one? Instead of giving me a chance to get two good tests in a row, he decrees that I should take three pills once a day instead of one three times a day. No real problem there, except why was I hearing about it then, after I’d finally gotten my act together? Just like middle school; they make a few noises when you’re doing badly, but they save the real go-offs for after you’ve turned over that new leaf.

[Joke]Guy says to the pharmacist, “I don’t get it. The label says, 'Take one pill three times a day. Well, I’ve tried, and I just can’t take a pill more than once.”[/Joke]

Not sure if this has anything to do with my being female. Just wanted to get it off my chest, and hadn’t thought it merited its own thread.

Oh, and one more thing. I get nervous sometimes during a Pap smear. Not out of embarrassment or anything like that; it’s because the procedure is so routine that I wonder how seriously the doc takes it. I’m lying there thinking, “I wonder how many he’s done today…this week…this month…Pleeeeeeeze don’t let this be the time he gets distracted and pokes too hard with the Q-tip…”