Do girls that like to stay at home get dates?

I know I don’t. But I’m a guy. I just get more pleasure being by myself than with anyone I can’t trust. Maybe I’m paranoid, who knows? I do know that not enjoying going outside, or people, can have its consequences. If I don’t go out, I don’t meet girls. And the girls I will meet like to go out, so they are no good for me.

I had a girlfriend once. It took no effort on my part though.

I am now wondering if there are any girls out there like me. That are not total hideous freaks of nature, but just enjoy the inside of their house. Who don’t get dates because they just don’t go out and meet people and are very picky about staying friends with the ones they do meet.

Eventually I will have to meet new people and spend more time outside. For now I’m wondering if I can’t meet the right girl on the times when I actually do go outside because they’re at home.

Paulies, are we talking about agoraphobia or something similar here, or just shyness?

Well, I’m a very old girl who likes to stay at home and so does my husband. We stay in for many days at a time with my spouse making an occasional run for food and cigarettes.

Even within the house we are more often apart than together and enjoy it that way. He is on the computer while I sleep, putter, read, watch TV. Then I’m on the computer while he sleeps. We enjoy our times together and watch movies or read aloud.

Only rarely do we invite anyone over and that is usually family.

How did we meet? On our computers…

Zoe isn’t that standard procedure when you’re in a witness protection program? :cool:

I would not know.

Well, if you’re agoraphobic, you should be frightened of going outside.

If you’re shy, you’re just shy.

He’s not talking about either. I’m guessing he’s a person who, like myself, enjoys the comfort of leather furniture, a big screen tv, and a stocked fridge providing free access to your favourite foods.

…the sort of person who hates the excessive noise in the clubs/bars, the kind of person who thinks it’s a waste of money to pay a cover. You really think someone must be agoraphobic or shy just because they don’t like going out? :rolleyes:
I feel your pain Paulies, I dream of meeting the same girl :frowning:

“Out” doesn’t have to mean to bars or clubs. One can go out to an art museum, a hiking trail, a bowling alley, etc. Last week, I went out to a coffee house, a picnic by the river, the gym, and a restaurant.

I wouldn’t say that never going out means you’ll never get a date, but it does imply that you don’t have very many hobbies that allow you to socialize. It’s much harder to meet folks sitting at home alone.

I’m a girl who likes to stay home, and I did manage to find someone to date for 2-1/2 years, but it’s over now and I’m back to square one.

I’m not agoraphobic, and not especially shy, either. But 95% of my friends are married, so they are not available to accompany me. I have gone to bars alone, and restaurants, but it’s not a lot of fun by yourself. I don’t dance, so that option’s out. I don’t drink a lot, so you’ll not find me standing by the bar waiting to be noticed. And since I’m not the type of girl people tend to notice (not being young and spritely) a loud, noisy place is not for me.

Even when I was young and spritely, hanging out at bars was not that much fun. I prefer to spend my time the way I intend to spend my life, not in the artificial environment of a bar. While that’s fun when you’re with a group, that’s not how I prefer to spend my time and money when alone. And I have a job, so my free time does not always coordinate with prime partying times.

So there are tons of great girls out there who just have lives they have to lead, and chores they have to do, and hobbies they pursue, and prefer to meet people out in the real world. Finding us is just a bit harder, but we figure if we don’t want a guy who spends all his time or money in a club, then we aren’t going to look for him in a club.

I don’t buy the ‘enjoy the inside of your house’ thing. I enjoy the inside of my house, too. Immensely. But I still like to go out and interact with people. My husband likes being home, and enjoys the inside of the house as well. But he also likes to work on his car and work out with his friend and other stuff.

I think you have other issues (I’m not going to speculate on what they are). It’s pretty hard to meet girls (other than on line) if you don’t go out. See, they have to KNOW that you’re THERE. Which they can’t possibly do, if you don’t go out and be visible.

Just remember…if it really IS the fact that you like the inside of your house, it’s still going to be there when you get home from your date. You can enjoy it twice as much because you missed it so.

I’m this same way (and I’m not interested in delving into the possible psychosis I may have that makes me this way) and I realized that it made it very difficult to meet men.

As a compromise, I signed up at Yahoo personals so that I’d have a source to meet people. Now, of course, if I have a date I do actually have to leave the house, but that’s cool.

But let me tell you, if I don’t have plans, I’m perfectly content to shove a DVD in and kick back.

So you’ve got a shot hanging out at sites like these. And if you were in San Diego I’d suggest that we loaf together! :stuck_out_tongue:

When I was younger, I almost never went out and did stuff. Like you, this really wasn’t because of anything like agoraphobia. I just didn’t find most things to do outside the house interesting and/or worthwhile.

I found people to be, for the most part, very boring. I didn’t have very much in common with most of them. Trying to interact with them was a pain as a result. I know I’m going to come across as painfully pretentious or self-important here, but at that time, in high school, I felt that I was more mature than most of my peers. A lot of their concerns and interests simply weren’t mine. As a result, I had very few friends close enough to hang out with.

So I stayed home. Let me tell you how hard it is to find a “real” date when you stay home all the freakin’ time. . .classes didn’t involve frequent enough interaction to allow for any kind of relationship. The few people I met–through extracurriculars, which I did attend–never invited me to anything because I was seldom-if-ever interested. I spent most of the time on the computer. I eventually met someone online, and we went out–even met a few times–but this was after I had already graduated. After we broke up, I was in the same situation; no social life, no desire to hang out with people, etc. And, as would be expected, I was a dateless wonder. My freshman year of college, I went home. I was single, and, while I didn’t desire to be single, it didn’t bother me all that much.

Then an old friend showed up. She asked me to go to a role-playing game. I said yes, but I almost didn’t go. I didn’t want to leave the house; I wanted to stay home and read. I had a nagging sense of obligation, however, and went anyway.

Guess where I met my fiance.

My point is. . .going out of the house helps you to meet people. Yes, you can meet people online. Yes, it can work out. But it often takes a lot more work, and a lot more luck to make a relationship begun online to work out. If you don’t leave the house, it’s going to be harder to meet someone with whom a relationship is feasible, due to things like distance, in-person compatibility, etc.

And, for the record, I’m female. Nobody came to my house to court me or anything like that. I don’t t hink it much matters what gender you are.

My wife’s like that. She is not shy so much as she just preferes staying at home and reading a book to doing anything. Shes attractive and fairly normal but she hates dancing and parties and all that other stuff people do. I’m like that too most of the time but I enjoy to get stumbling drunk at a party or bar from time to time, at least before I moved to this god damn city where I’m friendless and jobless. I actually met my wife at her house of all places. A friend of hers made her have a small party and invited me. Maybe you should find a shy stay at home girl and then begin talking to their more extroverted friends. Girls love to try to set up their shy friends.

**Do girls that like to stay at home get dates? **

not if they’re fused to the couch!

Bwuahahaha ^^^^.

oh, and hello stay-at-home girls :slight_smile:

I’m a stay-at-home girl. Found my partner through online personals, and now we hang out at home together (we do go out occasionally!).

Oh Good God that was hysterical!


Random thoughts in no particular order:

Reasons I don’t go out more:

  • When I get home from work I’m too tired.
  • I have difficulty hearing conversations in noisy places like bars.
  • I find most people tedious or boorish.
  • I have little in common with most people I meet.

Supposedly, there’s a mini-Doper going on downtown tonight but I’m too tired to go (see #1 above).

The county library has book discussion groups once a month. I thought that might be good. Especially since I’ve read/heard it’s mostly women who attend book clubs (I’m a guy). I like hanging out at the library too so that’s a potential place to meet people.

But mostly, being an introvert, I’m perfectly comfortable by myself. I have a few friends (all married). But I’m very selective about anybody I let into my inner circle (see #3 above). So my relationships move at a glacial, rather than, tumultuous pace.

That online thing is sounding pretty good. But usually I just want to play video games.

I’m a stay-at-home girl. It’s my most comfortable zone. In addition, many of my friends are married or seriously dating, and often won’t stir without their spouses/SOs. I think I have one friend who is single at the moment. I am rather shy, at least upon first meeting people. It would be lovely to meet someone to hang out at home with, but I don’t see much chance of that when I don’t leave my cave except for work and classes.

Hey, the OP wasn’t bitching about noisy, expensive pubs and clubs, he seemed to be talking about something more deep-seated, that he was “not enjoying going outside, or people”. But if I’ve got the wrong end of the stick, I’m sorry, Paulies

Paulies, do you have any particular interests? Sports, hobbies, that kind of thing? A favourite type of movie, or band? If you have anything of that sort, there’s a lot of low-key groups of people with similar interests out there. If you’d prefer not to meet them straight away, maybe there’s a board like this one that specialises in your hobby, in your area.

Say you’re into novels, and you’re in San Francisco - find a book club in your area with an online board, and start chatting there before you actually go out and meet these folks. A good way to get your confidence up, maybe. There might be some hotties that share your interests.

Or you could have a party at your house. If you’re not into big parties, maybe something low-key. Try to get your friends to bring other friends / acquantainces. Once again, you might find the occasional friendly woman amongst them.

One more thought - if you’ve got a couple of platonic female friends, you might mention that you’re on the market at the mo. Maybe they can set you up. Guys aren’t as good at this setting-up - they don’t seem to get quite as much enjoyment out of it!