And then, of course, once you’ve been working on your bitching technique for a while, there comes a day when it finally happens. You manage to piss off all the people all the time, and posters are coming after you in droves, armed with virtual chain saws, flick knives, tear gas, bricks and paving stones, Raid, anything they can lay their hands on. You will then be teetering on the brink of true Folk Hero status.
But there is one more step you must take, Grasshopper. There is much wisdom in Finagle’s words. You must die first. This will not be difficult, nor particularly painful. What usually happens is that during your final sprint for the Folk Hero finish line, you will behave like a complete Jerk and the mods will pull your plug. The eldritch rune “BANNED” will go up, next to your user name. Then you will be truly dead, and your name will be spoken of with reverence and awe. “Remember Upham?” the senior posters will tell each other around the cracker barrel, while the wide-eyed newbies listen. “Ah, now, there was a real pain in the ass.”
I mean, for starters i’m Canadian, i hate being mean. Now grnated, i am young and self rigteous, which does, indeed, allow me to piss off some of the people, some of the time… but as far as the more hard core stuff goes…
That and i really, really don’t want to die.
Oh well, maybe when i’m a dirty, nasty old bastard i’ll have a better shot.
Upham, you seem like a nice enough guy - kinda odd sense of humor, but likeable and easy to get along with. But honey, you’re trying to move just a little too fast.
WallyM7 is a true folk hero here at the SDMB (and yes, Wally has passed on to that great Message Board in the sky - Hiya, Wally!) Set aside several hours of reading time, make sure your bladder is empty (don’t want to piss your pants) and do a search for Wally, both his posts and as the subject. Well worth it, IMO - and may well prevent you from innocently making a fatal faux pas at some time.
There are several others that, IMO, hover on the fringes of folk-heroism, but they ain’t dead yet so I won’t swell their heads by posting names. They can read about their elevated status after they kick the bucket.
You know… he beats up a few cops for being corrupt, goes out to hide in the desert, and that’s when he has his vision quest.
A truly poignant moment will be Upham’s vision quest. He will see Zsa Zsa Gabor who will tell him about slapping the police in Beverly Hills. Next he will talk to Timothy Leary about nothing, and yet he will feel laden with insight. Then he will recieve the gift of proper spelling and grammar which he shall bring to the SDMB.
After the posters he has brought his newfound gift of grammar and spelling have ripped him into little pieces, he will finally get his Folk Hero status, and will have a theme song which all shall sing.
clears throat
"There once was a man called Upham,
at least we think he was a man.
And he came to us with a few words,
and looked like a can of Spam.
We listened and we looked,
while his brain simmered and cooked.
We listened to his many plans,
and never gave a damn.
With a ha ha ha and a ho ho ho,
we read his many missives.
We wondered when he’d stop typing,
which would have been to all our liking.
There once was a man called Upham,
but now he is no more.
He left the world as he entered it,
as a giant crashing bore."