I’m just musing about the couples I know. Sometimes both of the people are quiet, sometimes one is outgoing and the other is quiet, but I can only think of one couple where both the people are outgoing. Has anyone else noticed this, or is it just some quirks of the people I become friends with?
(Note: I am NOT talking about introversion and extroversion. People who like to go out and do things typically pair with other people who like to as well, and vice versa. I’m talking about how friendly and talkative a person is when they’re around other people.)
We know a couple, either half of which could talk the hind leg off a donkey. We often wonder how either of them gets a word in edgewise, when it’s just the two of them alone.
But yeah, it’s more common to find one talker and one quiet person together, I’d say.
In real life I spend a lot of time deep in my own head and to all outward appearances might be deaf, angry, or just super disinterested in people. But actually I’m super friendly but absolutely never go first in conversation, and will be the first to clam up if I don’t care about the subject at hand. The Missus is the opposite–total networker. Within a minute she’ll know who you are, what you’re about, what you need, and who can help you if you’re interested because she just talked to someone a few minutes ago whose path should intersect yours. I just stand by and smile & nod.
I’ll bet that even if a couple doesn’t start that way, they tend to gravitate toward that dichotomy in social situations, as the slightly more gregarious one starts taking care of the social rituals.
I’ve noticed in my wife’s family that many of the shyest, most soft-spoken members married really outgoing people. I suppose people said the same thing about my wife and me, but I’m actually pretty withdrawn in most social situations. I just talk loud.
It stands true in my marriage. I know it’s hard to believe but I’m the quiet one. I can go days without speaking to one person. Mr.Wrekker on the other hand is very social and outgoing. He’s not gabby, but jeez he knows or is related to everyone. It’s a endless stream of people. Kinda unnerving sometimes. These people see me alone and expect a pleasant conversation and I got nothing. I know they think I’m a snob or something. Oh, well. What you gonna do?
I can only be with yappers.
I can talk too, but you have to hit on something that gets me going. And the only ones that can do that is the talkers.
And they’re only able to do that because they tend to cover such a wide variety of subjects, that eventually, they’ll hit on something that gets me going too.
Most people who know both me and my husband probably think he’s more outgoing and I’m on the quiet side - but it’s not really true. Because they’ve never seen me at work or with my high school friends. He’s actually just more comfortable with people he doesn’t know well than I am , so he’s yapping to the strangers in the airport or the supermarket and I’m not.