Next time, simply say:
[whiney, high-pitched and badly lip-synched voice]
Ha ha! Now you die!
[/whiney, high-pitched and badly lip-synched voice]
Then jump thirty feet in the air and kick him eight times in the head before you land.
That’s what I always do.
Regards,
Shodan
“Nobody bodda me!”
“Nobody bodda me eeda!”
And hair. Don’t forget the hair.
[sub]I came home last night to find my wife watching Terminator, just as Sarah and Reese are going under the freeway to hide. Her hair blotted out the sun…
Where is Kung Fu Lola when you need her?
Sounds like you’re working with Jean Clod Van Damme. That would be a freakingly enormous bummer.
That happened to me once (not as close to being clocked in the head, though). Displaying uncharacteristic wit, I went into a poorly dubbed kung fu movie speech.
[move mouth]
“So! You think you know kung fu. My master is Lian So, of the porcupine style. I’ll show you some real kung fu.”
Much hilarity ensued.
I was just wondering if I could use the thread title as my new sig.
Think that’s bad? Two of my best friends are hugely into “Ultimate Fighting.” You seen this? It’s some sort of no-holds-barred martial arts tournament. It’s very Chuck Norris. The ring they fight in is even called [booming announcer voice]The Octagon![/booming announcer voice]
Anyway, despite the highly apparent lameness, my friends are absolute freaks for it. They go on and on and on and on about it. “Hey, did you see that arm-bar Hoyce Gracie did to Ken Shamrock? That was totally sweet! Here, lemme show you how he did it! See, he grabbed him here, turned to the left, threw his arm around Ken’s waist, spun, tongue kissed Ken for, like, five minutes, then snapped his neck with his bare hands! It was awesome!” They’ll go on like this for upwards of an hour an a half at a time.
At this point, getting kicked in the face would be a welcome relief.
Grasshopper, when you can take the stapler from my hand, you will be ready to leave the cubicle…
When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.
:d&r:
I’m right here.
Scylla honey, if you knew me, you wouldn’t be so ready to politely decline the kung fu. 
So am I, or else I’d still be single and lonely!
Well come on over and let’s see if we can fix that…
Sorry ‘bout all the flirting. My username NEVER comes up on the boards, I figured I’d enjoy it while it was still happenin’…
You learned Tae kwon Do?? Well, I learned–Tae Bo, yeah!
I one did a simulated uraken on a co-worker who insulted me. The other workers don’t insult me as much anymore. Thank you, Aja Kong.
[Bruce Lee] Do not look at the finger, or you will miss all the glory ou there [/Bruce Lee]
Yet more evidence that I’ve got a Y chromosome stashed away somewhere – I do this all the freakin’ time. 'Course, having had no formal martial arts training, I refer to my style as “mojo fu” and generally make a fool of myself when I do it. I can do some great poses though …
– Ninjablink (the only ninja who shuns the katana in favor of the claymore, booyah!)
Dragonblink- You’re a Ninja! SWEET!!! Is it true that you guys flip out and kill people all the time.
One time, I knew this Ninja, and we were at the movies and this kid wouldn’t shut up so he kicked off his head, and then killed everyone in the room, including me, and then used his Ninja Magic to bring me back to life! I shit my pants and choked on my popcorn it was so cool.
I was recently taking karate with the wife, and the instructor, Sensei Jose (try to learn Japanese words spoken with a thick Cuban accent, go ahead, try, I dare you) was demonstrating the roundhouse kick in front of the class on his favorite demo dummy (yours truly), his foot swiped my nose enough to bend it to the right so that the wife could see it from 15 feet away. I never fliched.
I’m more afraid of what we in Texas refer to as “San Antonio Judo”, that is:
“Judo know eef I got a knife! Judo know eef I got a gun! Judo know, man!!”
LC
Do not Wang Chung me, please.
When they come to kung fu me, I bare my forearms and reveal the dragon images seared into my flesh.