Do not Kung Fu me, please

I’m not sure why, but I seem to be a magnet for Kung Fu attacks. There must be something about me.

Recently a young coworker felt the urge to demonstrate a spinning backkick on me. As I’ve done the dozen or so times someone starts with an impromptu demonstration, I stand very still.

The foot came very close to hitting me in the face, a lot closer than the young man intended with his demonstration of prowess.

It angered me to be endangered by such ill-advised incompetance, but I did nothing. The mood was jocular, and the guy was clearly chagrined.

“Ohmygod! I’m sorry. That was really close. I didn’t mean to get that close.” He had his hands covering his face in embarassment. “What would you have done if I had hit you?” He asked.

“I guess I would have accepted your apology,” I said.

Now lest you think I am acting superior I will freely confess that I engaged in my own share of idiotlike kung fu practice on unwilling participants during my youth. Most notable of these incidents, was when my girlfriend (now wife,) didn’t think it was funny any more and taught me a lesson almost breaking my arm.

But, I do not understand what it is that drives me and other men to demonstrate Kung Fu in innapropriate circumstances.

What’s wrong with us? Why the hell do we do this?

Can we stop, already?

Everybody was kung-fu fighting…

I had the same song in my head… but I was going to post:

It was a little bit frightening…

First of all, nice use of jocular.

As far as that whole not using kung-fu inappropriately thing? Doubt it. Very much.

Were they fast as lightning?

Did they have nunchucks?

disaapears into the shadows

Your the target of Kung Fu attacks because the young bucks want to prove their manliness by attacking some one who appears to have “Kung Fu skillz” (sic). Take it as a sign of respect

I find my Glock Fu beats Kung Fu almost everytime.

Bernard Mickey Wrangle has a black belt in haiku. And a black vest at the cleaners. Or so I’ve read.

Somehow, this guy didn’t fight with expert timing.

In the '50s, kids showed off by demonstrating their muscular build. In the '60s, kids showed off by seeing who could talk about peace and love for a longer period of time. In the '70s, kids showed off by seeing who could shotgun a complete bongload. In the '80s… kids didn’t show off. In the '90s, kids showed off by bragging about their computer.

Now, in the 2000s, kids have the choice of showing off by either demonstrating some physical prowess - such as the aforementioned kung-fu - or by bragging about how cool their cell phone ring is.

Frankly, I’m glad to see that there are some who still prefer the kung fu.

When I was first taking Kuk Sool Won, I was constantly doing kicks and strikes on imaginary targets at work.

However, I wouldn’t trust someone to kick me (even with the intention of missing) unless I had seen them do their thing previously.

Ah well. Dump him on his ass next time, and tell him to relax.

You should have followed the wisdom of the master! After that attack, in a calm voice, you should have replied:

“You missed… You shall be honored to learn a lesson… Boot to the Head!!” THUMP

Heh. Boot to the Head. Nice reference.

Scylla, you are a kinder person than I am. I generally respond to such things by showing the impromptu demonstrator that he hadn’t quite considered what would happen if I didn’t stand still. Nicely, mind, just a matter of them falling down during the kick or finding that a joint lock didn’t work or was applied to them instead of me.

It’s sad how often the only technique I have to apply to make that happen is the ancient art of being a big guy and stepping forward at the right time.

Strangely enough, the point where I can’t easily do that anymore coincides with the point where I don’t have to do that anymore.

A little knowlege is a dangerous thing, but more knowlege makes you stop being accidentally dangerous to yourself or others.

::makes mental note not to demonstrate tornado kick 1/8 of an inch from Scylla’s face::

Jack be nimble
Jack be quick
Jack learn Kung Fu
Jack learn kick

Jack meet mugger
Jack show skill
Jack learn bullet
Quicker still

From a long-ago Mad.

Could be. No one ever Kung Fus me.:frowning:

Designer labels.

Shit, it didn’t work.

Oh, yeah, I guess so… I’ve repressed all my memories of the '80s (and early '90s).

There there, SPOOFE. In the 2010s, kids will showw off how much they’ve repressed, and you’ll be able to beat them by having everything from 1982 to 1995 repressed:D

Wonder what Hong Kong Phooey is up to nowadays. There was something about that guy - I couldn’t see him being a mild-mannered janitor forever. Still, it’s hard to keep track of him with him being quicker than the human eye 'n all.