Do "Say something nice about another poster" threads piss you off?

Because it seems like there are some Dopers who view them only as opportunities to kiss ass or engage in popularity contests. I can also see how posters who never get mentioned would feel excluded and unappreciated.

I don’t post in them that often. For one thing, my favorites don’t really change that much. For another thing, a lot of posters are cool but unfortunately my memory only has room for a short list. I always feel kinda bad giving certain people shout-outs, only to later remember someone else who is just as worthy. I’ve had a ton of positive interactions with Dopers, but if you don’t have a memorable screen name, chances are you won’t get mentioned.

But my ego won’t let me stay away from them. Like a teenage girl looking to see if I’m on anyone’s MASH list, I scroll through those threads looking to see who has noticed me. When I don’t see my name, I’m all, “Oh well. Guess I’m not cool.” When I do see it, I feel all warm and tingly inside. In the real world, I either feel invisible or long for invisibility. But for some strange reason, I feel the opposite here. All it takes is one positive comment and I’m happy. So I’d say kiss-ass threads are good, if only for that reason.

Where do you stand?

I like you monstro! You’re funny and honest.

I open them and read them, but I can’t get that worked up about it. These threads just seem to be the same people raving about the same people.


Here in East Poopyshoes we calls it “logrolling.”

I love yoooo … you love meeee …

Normally I don’t like them, but this time somebody said something nice about me! (Um, not that I went looking or anything, because that would be sad.)

I feel about the same as the OP, except that I’d say kiss-ass threads are NOT good, because I keep imagining some of our lonelier, more insecure Board members having a bad day, then checking a popularity thread and not seeing themselves, and subsequently feeling really miserable and hurt. They should not react this way, of course, but that doesn’t mean they won’t. Some people are pretty vulnerable and it is obvious that the SDMB plays a fairly significant role in a few posters’ lives.

Someone suggested recently that popularity threads are good because after all, people get criticized in the Pit all the time, so why not create opportunities to say something nice about other posters? At first I was swayed by this argument, but then I thought about it and concluded I don’t buy it. People don’t get pitted unless they posted in a particularly obnoxious manner (and if the pitter is wrong, other people will come in and defend the pittee). So only deserving people are successfully pitted. But a lot of deserving people don’t get kudos in popularity threads.

Also, we don’t need dedicated threads to say nice things about other posters - if you admire a poster’s thinking there is nothing to stop you from saying so in the thread where those thoughts appear.

With respect to reading them myself, I am going through a progression: I used to read them. Then I posted in one or two to express mild disapproval (gently, I hope, as posters I like are usually the ones that start them). I don’t do that now, but I do look to see if anyone else comments disapprovingly. As soon as I see that someone has, I don’t look anymore.

I wondered if you were going to get a whole lot of posts saying “But I like you, Monstro!”, maybe a few dozen, and then feeling embarrassed because you’d think that people would think you were fishing for praise. I would find that embarrassing. (Not that I’m back-handedly implying that you’re doing that, I swear!)

And I agree with you- the posters I remember the most either have a memorable username or they post 90 times a day and you can’t help but notice them. Or I remember them because of some epic pit thread about something obnoxious and silly they said or did.

Even when I posted here every day, nobody seemed to notice me very much and I always secretly hoped somebody would. Kind of annoying after all these years.

I don’t ever get too worked up about them. It’s nice if I see my name, but I’m not disappointed if I don’t. There are a lot of posters on this board so I don’t really expect anyone to remember me. I really felt appreciated when John DiFool made his Calvinball thread last week and referenced me in the opening post. THAT made me feel good. It wasn’t in a thread fishing for praise. It was honest to Og acknowledgement. I meant to say thanks to him then, but I’ll just do it now. Thank you John DiFool!

I don’t mind them. It is never a bad thing to hear that someone likes you, IMO and in fact, the more chances we get to hear a kind word, the better.

If I’m not mentioned I don’t feel so bad - my posts are mostly mundane and I am not expecting to make an impact. The Dope is just a hobby to be honest. So I have no downside and I do see an upside.

It’s funny. I saw your username, and was immediately going to respond with a “:eek: Holy crap! You are back!” I didn’t even read the rest of your post. Then I saw this part.

So, rest assured, someone noticed, and also missed you while you were gone. :slight_smile:

I agree with this. Before I open those threads, I always know which posters are going to be mentioned the most often, and it kind of reminds me of how the same kids got elected for student council year after year in high school. Sometimes my favorites are in the “most mentioned” list, but sometimes I’ll see Dopers being mentioned that I absolutely can’t stand and it turns me off.

I’m sorry.

I like them quite a bit. It’s always nice seeing people get much-deserved recognition for being awesome (yayyy monstro! You said something very kind to me once and I’ll never forget it.)

When my name gets mentioned in those threads it can turn my day around. I’m one of those folks who is always paranoid that nobody likes me, so I’m relieved when I get evidence to the contrary.

So yeah, I like them. Nothing wrong with a big old lovefest.

I agree with Olives. It doesn’t matter if one is mentioned in them or not, surely what’s important is that those people who do get mentioned probably get a real lift out of it. I know what you mean about it feeling a little like a popularity contest, and I might be a bit more disappointed that my name doesn’t come up often in such threads if I didn’t have good friends and people around me who I know I do matter to. Maybe I’d feel different if the Dope was my main source of social contact, but as it’s not it doesn’t bother me (and I definitely don’t get those who feel the need to be snarky in those threads, seriously, chill the fuck out).

I like them because they represent a bit of niceness in a world that can often bring out the nastiness in people. It’s cool when I get that ultra rare shout-out, but it’s cool even when I don’t.

And although I hear CairoCarol’s point, someone who is having a lonely, loveless day may just have their spirit’s lifted if they get mentioned. That’s a good thing.

I expect when I was in my 20s, it would have mattered a lot whether I was mentioned or not. But as I creep up on 55, I really don’t care.

I don’t bother reading those threads.

True enough.

I always read them, but try not to post to them. I will post if someone pms me to say, “hey you got a mention” or something like that. I think posting to them blows my cool a little… I try not to dick ride too much, I have already gushed enough about this board.

Once I posted long listto one of those threads, and that list hasn’t really changed. I don’t plan on posting list after list.

If I were to add to that list, though, it would be Bryan Ekers and Boyo Jim because they crack me up so much.

That’s pretty much why I posted what I did in that thread.

Some years ago I worked for a division of Prudential that was closed down several months after I saw the handwriting on the wall and left. The department (@125 people) had various “quality” and so-forth awards that were given out by nomination within the group.

There was a group of young women on the other side of the department who had figured out how to game the system. Every month, the eight (or was it six?) of them repeatedly nominated each other for the awards, often for very little. Pretty much for merely doing their jobs. And like clockwork, every month several of them were handed “quality” “awards”.

That’s what I think of when I see those thread. It’s the same damned people gushing over the same damned people, every other damned month. A popularity circle jerk where they claim they’re “making people feel better about themselves”.

Oh sure, I’ve participated once or twice in the past, but really now… It’s becoming all too frequent and all too trite and all too incestuously narcissistic.

I’ll admit that these threads got to me yesterday. I was reading the hate list and the love list and wondering why I felt so differently than everyone else seemed to feel.

I don’t think those kinds of threads are good for the Dope. They give the impression that if you like the posters in the love thread and hate the ones in the hate thread, then you’ll like it here. I’ll attest that you can love this place in spite of the people in the love thread and not because of them sometimes.

Now this is why I love this place. I’ll be thinking about something, and if I just wait long enough, someone will come along to say the thing I was thinking.