Ok, I feel like making the pot boil, so here goes!
Self-described “nice guys” whine that they can’t get laid (kinda negates their “nice guy” label to me, here)
Anyway, then the truth comes out–the kid doesn’t even ASK girls out!!!
New definition: a nice guy is one who actually assumes some responsibility for his life!
Women have to work 40+ hours outside the home, have major responsibility for house keeping, go through birth, end up with major responsibility for childcare, get divorced and get ridiculously low child support, and now you tell me we’re supposed to also take ALL the iniative for starting relationships??? Jeez, what the hell do you expect to contribute? “Help” with the housework? “Babysit” your own kids? Bring home your paycheck but make sure that you buy all your toys first?
GET A CLUE!!! If you’re too damn chicken to ask a woman out, you don’t deserve one!!! You’re probably too chicken to ever get a decent job or get anything done in this world without someone taking the responsibility!
NOTE to Responsible Men: Please avoid endless self-congratulatory posts on how YOU do your share of everything–this isn’t addressed to you–women all know there are lots of you and we appreciate you! In fact, we wish you could be cloned!
simple answer. YES But since I have no significant other (at least none that live with me) I simply must do everything or it doesn’t get done. And I have no one to blame if it doesn’t and no one to bitch or complain about how i do things or when i do them. It’s rather nice.
so you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts. what’s so amazing about really deep thoughts? Tori Amos
That said, I still vividly recall about two years ago when things were overwhelming me. Besides the fact that I hold this little job here . . . we were remodelling the house, and a thousand other things were happening. I finally sat down one night and made a list of all the things that needed doing, from simple stuff like finish the laundry, to more complex stuff like deal with the income taxes and get things rolling for two of the kids’ birthday parties (their birthdays are less than a month apart).
When I finished that list it had something like 45 items on it. I started to cry.
Now, we’ll credit hubby for the fact that he looked at the list and said “what can I do to help you with this stuff?” And he did.
But I’ve always resented the fact that it was MY list, and the he was going to HELP me with it. It’s MY responsibility to make sure that all of this stuff gets done, apparently, and he’s willing to “help” me with it. But he couldn’t have even thought that maybe we had to do some planning for the kids’ birthdays all by himself? The list was full of stuff like that. And, unfortunately, if I make the mistake of counting on him to do something without following up on it over and over again, it doesn’t get done. And thus the kids did not get signed up for summer activities that same year.
So I can be a bitch and nag and at least get some help making sure all the stuff that needs to be done gets done, or I can do it all myself, or I can just not have it be done.
I am tired of being responsible for everybody and everything in the world.
Well, hell, Melin. If it wasn’t for YOU tying the poor guy down to a house and kids and a job, he’d be out on the high seas, enjoying the life of a Pirate Captain.
I think nice guys with a flaw here and there, like lack of initiative, wouldn’t complain so much if it weren’t that guys who are nothing but flaws always seem to get laid. Men who beat women, drink their own weight in beer and never do a damn thing for their kids always seem to have a girlfriend or six. What dooms a man to a life of one-handed net surfing isn’t whether he’s nice or does his share of the chores, but whether he conforms to the aggressive, or at least assertive, male stereotype.
I have to go arc welding and cuss now.
Bruce
I used to be naive, now I’m just disgusted and I should live so long as to be amused.
First: What’s this “women have to” stuff? If you’re going to complain about men not taking responsibility, don’t you think you should take responsinility for your choices?
Second: When guys say this, they aren’t necessarily blaming the women. They’re often just expressing their exacerbation with the way the world works. Sort of like “Why do rock stars get more money in one day then I get in one year.”
Third: If a woman asks a guy out, and the guy isn’t interested, do men go out of their way to make the woman feel uncomfortable, and feel guilty for being a “feminist pig”? Seeing as how I haven’t actually asked any guys out, this isn’t a completely rehtorical question. Who knows, maybe some guys do do this. But seeing as how in your OP, you pretty much said that any guy that dares wish he were getting more sex is not a “nice guys”, I think that it’s safe to say that although women don’t like having to do everything, they also don’t like men being too eager. So just how are we supposed to know exactly where that line is? Especially since it’s different for different women? Are we supposed to be mind readers or something?
And I flunked out 'cause the goddam parrot kept shitting on my shoulder, manny.
He weathered a firestorm of agony and did not break.
And while Yori raged against his unbending
courage, we took Kyuden Hiruma back.
His loss is great, but so is the gift his suffering brought.
-Yakamo’s Funeral
Hey, I can play “I’m a bitter twisted fruit” too, but I am not truly angry enough at women as a whole to make any female-bashing comments. However, miss jaws, your post which is apparently inspired by long-term orgasm deprivation is truly worthy of my time.
Chances are, smiley, that if you personally went through child birth and you get ridiculously low child support I won’t be asking your bitter cranky ass out on a date anyway. That’s assuming that the noxious fumes eminating from your sheer resentment at the male gender wouldn’t drive me away completely.
I ask women out, but I have also been asked out by women. A woman who has enough self-conidence to ask a guy out and enough initiative to actually follow through on it is very attractive to me. They immediately stand out from the herd of ladies that sit and bat their eyelashes in a passive attempt to attract men.
If you’re not looking for a man, God bless. It take courage to be single by choice. For both genders. But like all things in life, if you want something good you can’t wait for it to drop into your lap. But all means, ladies, feel free to spend the best years of your life wait for Prince Charming to come to you instead of taking initiative. The world needs more “crazy cat ladies”.
Yeah this is what I think about when I ask a woman on a date. Sheesh. I’ve been on commercial transaltlantic flights will less baggage than you. Why dont ya check that shit at the gate so we can talk rationally, mmkay?
In response to the Op,Do women have to do every damn thing?
only if we want it done right!
So Alphagene, wanna go for a drink?
I wont talk about my ex or the kids, or the ridiculously low child support, if you promise to hold the door, pick up the check and fuck me sensless at the end of the evening…
He he he, looks like I hit Alphagene’s button! Hey, sweetie pie, I hope you don’t go out with someone like me–I have a daughter your age! I don’t want you asking her “to get laid” either–you might try asking for a date to get to know her first though!
Look how lucky you are now–Kelli has made you an offer–and WHAT an offer Sounds like you hit the jackpot, kiddo!
And, that’s Dr. Jaws to you, pal!
Well, I like cats, but men just have that whole penis thing going I just can’t seem to give up. And those broad shoulders,mmmm, excuse me, I’ll be back in 20 minutes or so.
Oh, and Alpha, I’ll be in the city next weekend, weather permitting.
so you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts. what’s so amazing about really deep thoughts? Tori Amos
Geez, I do a typical asshole rant and I get propositioned. Assholism really does pay off.
Well, if I I have the door in my right hand and the check in my left then I suppose it’s theoretically possible…
Really, thanks for the offering yourselves and your daughters. I’m flattered. Really.
But I can’t. I, um… I have to wash my hair. Besides, I don’t wanna ruin our really special friendship. It’s kind of a bad time for me. It’s not you, it’s me. I just want you to know that you are all really nice though. Call me!
Eerie. A perfectly good flame that ends up in, if not exactly a love fest, at least a zestful proposition. Gee, I dunno. Judging from this discussion, women doing it all seems to work a treat.
i’d like to be really polite & start by saying i may just misunderstand what i’m seeing here, but that would be a lie. i understand whining when i hear it just fine.
do you have to do it all? as in what? like taking responsibility for your lives? oooh, sounds rough. so you were so whacked out in love you didn’t want to break the mood before the wedding by stating at some point in your courtship what you expected from a marriage & each partner’s contribution to it. i can understand that. what about after the first six months? or six years? ready to speak up yet? & you didn’t? & that’s your spouse’s fault?
melin, seems to me your problem isn’t a husband who doesn’t see sharing worrying about stuff as a life goal but rather trying complete communication w/ said husband.
ticked off by a twerp who doesn’t ask anyone out? i found it sooo easy to ignore that thread, just as i would find it easy to ignore anyone w/out balls enough to at least approach me. otoh, if i were interested, i would approach him, just as i would open the door if i got there first or pick up the check if i proposed the outing.
what sexist claptrap. shame on you.
& the word is exasperation. exacerbate is to make worse, ya putz.
Sounds like you hit the jackpot, kiddo!